Just a few shots of chino-adolescence, completely made up of course. Trey/Theresa-ish. The ending is slightly different to how it was in the OC. I don't own the OC.
It wasn't the first time that I had done it.
Ryan always got the nice ones, and I was always left to deal with the desperate slappers. Well, it had never happened as badly with Theresa. I mean, I had never tried to hurt her, she never said no – not like with Marissa. But then again, I hadn't been pissed with Theresa.
I remember so clearly the day that I found them together in our bedroom. I'd been out with Turo and Eddie. Mom was getting high somewhere with AJ and I thought I'd left my little brother alone in the house. I stumbled up the stairs at three in the morning, only to find that Ryan was getting some. Fuck, I thought. My thirteen-year-old brother, getting it on with the prettiest girl in the ninth grade. Not just the ninth grade, the whole of Chino.
It no surprise then, that when faced with the idea this happening more often that I began staying out even longer than usual. Not that they were stupid enough to do it in our bedroom again, but I was never completely comfortable watching them snuggled up together, laughing, sharing a private kiss. Theresa had always been the little girl who I watched grow up. Suddenly, I saw what Ryan saw.
I don't know if it was just because he'd always been the favourite, but everything Ryan had, I'd always wanted and would be prepared to do anything to get. But it wasn't just jealousy with Theresa. She'd always been so understanding of me. She never compared me to Ryan, even though it was obvious that he'd soon become just like me. But what hurt the most was that seeing them together made me want to kill my own brother. And I didn't even care that my feelings would have hurt him.
I remember the first time I ever touched her. She was crying because of something to do with her mom and dad and I was the only one around to console her. I put my arm limply around her shoulders, whilst she sobbed onto my chest. She looked even more beautiful with her eyes shining and hair messy and tumbling over her shoulders than ever. I could barely breath when she got that close to me. But of course, I was just Trey, Ryan's older brother who seemingly had nothing better to do than take drugs and have sex with girls who wore too much make-up and too little clothing. She would never see any more in me than that.
One hot August weekend in July, the funfair came to Chino. It set up on the green behind my old school. It was blatantly the crappest funfair in America, but that didn't stop everyone under the age of twenty wanting to go. Naturally, as I had nothing better to do, I went along.
I found Theresa, abnormally alone, by the shooting-balloons stand. Being a girl, she was shit at the game. She was already on her third go and hadn't knocked one balloon. I strolled over and offered to help her. Pathetic, I admit, but it was the only way I figured that I could wrap my arms around her, without Ryan being able to get mad at me, and to look kind of tough at the same time.
As her back pressed against my chest, with my hands over her own and my lips right next to her ear, I thought I was going to implode. I couldn't comprehend how she didn't jump away in fright at how hard and fast my heart was beating against her back. As I guided the toy-gun to the right position and helped her fire, I realised that this was the closest I would ever be able to get to the only girl I loved.
However, one month later, my dream came true. Little to my knowledge, Ryan had been seeing some other girl behind Theresa's back when she went to Spain to visit her family. She returned and found out about them. I was the one left to console her.
Her family was out and I visited her at her house. She was in her room, lying on her bed and crying her eyes out. I sat next to her. I calmed her with my empty words of how she was too good for Ryan and he didn't deserve her anyway. I could hardly believe that some girl had put so much between my brother and me and that I was prepared to risk our relationship like this. As I whispered these empty comforts to her, she slowly dissolved into my arms. Soon we were lying down together, moulded to each other's shapes like two spoons. After a while, as she closed her eyes and her breath began to even, she fell asleep. That was when I whispered my secret to her.
Her steady breathing abruptly stopped. She turned her head slightly, but I think she moved more than she had anticipated to. Our faces were closer than we meant for them to be – just millimetres apart. Before I knew what was going on we were kissing. That kiss seemed to last forever. It deepened, and soon Theresa was unbuttoning my shirt and unzipping my pants. My skin felt like it was on fire, every touch increasing how much I wanted her. We were just about to go the whole way, when the door creaked open.
To both of our horrors, it was Ryan, mumbling something about how sorry he was. He took one look at us and left, not before throwing a book at me. I left after what seemed like a million years, without a word. The look on Theresa's face was enough to tell me that she didn't want me there. She regretted everything that we'd done.
It soon became clear that evening was the closest I'd ever get to Theresa returning my feelings. It hurt so much to realise that I was just a way to get back at Ryan, to show him that she could do the dirty on him too, and at much worse lengths; with a family member. I felt like I had made a grasp at heaven only to be flung into hell.
It took almost a week for Ryan to talk to me again and even then it was only to hurl abuse at me. Then, one night I saw some guy hassling Ryan on my way back from my shitty job at the store. I sorted him out, landing myself with a cut lip and a black eye. It was a worthwhile exchange for regaining Ryan's trust. That was the evening that we stole the car. I got landed in prison and Ryan got to live in Newport with the Cohens. It was supposed to be some kind of twisted revenge, but I was the one who was punished.
When I was released from prison, it seemed that Ryan had been given the time to forgive me. He let me live for a while with him and the Cohen in their fucking big, rich-family mansion, with their stupid pool and oversized car. It was paradise. Yet I hated Ryan for it – he was always the favourite. Mom always hit me far worse than him, he was the "bright" kid, Theresa preferred him. He got to live in complete luxury without having worked for it at all. He had a fucking high maintenance girlfriend (or non-girlfriend), who only cared about fashion, and he wore stupid rich-boy clothes and had a rich-boy haircut. That's probably why everything with Marissa happened. She was one thing that I thought I could steal from Ryan. Prison had certainly screwed me up even more than my childhood already had.
But, even though I had my way with most girls I met, there was something about the ones that had already fallen for Ry that meant I was second rate. That's probably why the incident on the beach took place. I was so filled with hatred for him, for how Theresa loved him despite of how he treated her, that I wanted to hurt what he loved most; Marissa.
I didn't blame her for pulling the trigger on me; after everything I'd done, I was surprised she hadn't done it sooner. Yet, as I fell to the floor, blood soaking my wife-beater and my guts feeling like they were about to explode, I couldn't help but feel that Marissa looked slightly different. Her hair seemed to get curlier and darker as I fell to the floor, and her face took on a different expression. Maybe it was the surprise she felt at how much rage she could feel for me.
Yet, even though it had been so long and I was so far away from her, Theresa was the final image imprinted onto my mind as I close my eyes for the last time.