27 Stupid Things Sirius Finds to Do in a Muggle Elevator

By GoddessGirl123

A/N Ok, here's the first chapter of my newest story 27STSFTDIAME! Lol, anyway, enjoy!


"Ok everyone, listen, this is the biggest mall in England, it has four levels." Lily explained as she walked into the building. She took off her white rimmed sunglasses and turned to sandy haired Remus, prankster Sirius, and her boyfriend James. James and Sirius looked extremely excited seeing as they had never seen a muggle mall before. Remus had been to a mall before, since his mom was a muggle but had never been to one this big.

"And I want everyone to stick together ok? Now, each of you are going to get a cell phone, see this is a list of each our numbers. If you need to call me or get separated from each other just press the button here, see? And then you will be able to call them and talk to each other." Lily explained quickly passing out the identical cell phones. James grabbed his and began flipping it open and closed. Sirius began playing with the ring tones. Remus simply slipped his into his pocket after setting it to vibrate.

"K, Remus, make sure they don't get into too much trouble, Sirius please don't play any pranks!" Lily said turning to each one. She gave James a peck on the cheek while saying "Love you, see all three of you in three hours at the Food Court, ok? I need to go meet the girls..." with that Lily turned around at left them standing by the entrance.

"Ok guys, where do you want to go?" Remus said looking behind him. They weren't there. "Guys? Sirius? James?" He spotted them over by a women's clothing store. They were looking at the dummies behind the glass window.

"What are you two doing?" Remus asked as he walked towards.

"We were just talking about how bad we felt for these guys." James said stabbing his finger in one of the dummies direction. "I mean, they're wearing awesome clothes but they like just stand there they can't move or blink or anything."

"They're called dummies. They don't move because they can't, they aren't alive! They're plastic." Remus explained as some muggle women looked at them strangely.

"Hey, I bet Sirius could get a job as a dummy!" James chuckled as Remus dragged both boys away from the window and down the hall.

"Shut up James..." Sirius mumbled. They continued to walk down the vast hall. Suddenly Sirius saw something. It was a big door. A big sliding double door.

"Oooooh..." Sirius whistled as he ran towards it. He looked at it and then saw a button. He quickly pressed it and the door opened. It was a tiny square room. Sirius ran in as another teenaged guy and two women came in behind him. As the doors slid closed one of the women moved forward and pressed the one with a big 4 on it. Suddenly, the room began to shake, it was moving up.

"AHHH!" Sirius screamed as the room continued to move. "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AHHHH!"

"Yo, man, chill." The teenager said as the two women looked at each other before staring at him strangely.

"WE'RE ALL GONNE DIE!" Sirius continued to scream as the elevator continued to move up slowly and as he gripped the walls tightly.

"You know what; we'll get off at level 3." One of the women said before hitting the number three and the doors opening.

"I'll come with you..." The teenager hurried out. The doors closed again and the room began to move up again. When it reached the top, the doors opened revealing a women and a little girl. When they stepped in, the doors closed behind them.

"Don't worry!" Sirius said loudly making them jump. "The doors will open again." He then moved carefully up to the buttons and pressed one randomly and quickly before jumping back. The doors opened on level three and the women moved out whispering to the little girl,

"Come along, Shannon. We'll use the escalator."

Sirius smirked. Now that he knew how the elevator worked, he could have some real fun!

"Watch out muggles, Black is on the loose!"


"James, Lily doesn't want an electric can opener!" Remus said for the hundredth time.

"But they're awesome!" James said as he opened yet another can.

"Sirius, try and talk some sense into Prongs." Remus muttered. "Padfoot?" Remus said turning around.

"James, stop messing around with that and help me look for him!" Remus said desperately.

"You lost him!" James cried out

"You lost him! I told you to watch him why'll I looked over at one of those computers!"

"Which way did he go?"

"How should I know? Look, I'm gonna call Lily."

"Oh no you aren't!" James yelled out as Remus took out the phone.

"Why not?"

"Because she'll murder me!"

"No she won't!"

"Yes she will! She say, 'James you bastard, you let loose Sirius in a muggle public place with a wand? You stupid idiot, now your gonna have to deal with the fact that he blew up half the building and now is on the run from the ministry! And he will NOT be staying at our house!', that's what she'll say! And then she'll order me down stairs to sleep on the sofa and I'll be one sorry guy!"

"That isn't gonna happen, now I'm gonna call – hey! Give that back! JAMES GIVE ME THAT PHONE!" Remus yelled after James who had snatched the phone out of his hand and ran into a crowd.

"Damn, Lily is gonna murder me now!"


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