27 Stupid Things Sirius Finds to Do in a Muggle Elevator

By GoddessGirl123

A/N 11 reviews! That's awesome! Like in my other story, Time Warp, I won't be able 2 update very much. So enjoy while you can! Lol.


Sirius stood in the empty elevator and looked around. 'What shall I do now?' he thought mischievously. Suddenly a business man on a cell phone came into the elevator he nodded his head to him as he hung up his cell phone. As he slipped it into his pocket, Sirius tapped him on the shoulder.

"Yes?" the man asked in a bossy tone.

"What?" Sirius asked looking confused.

"I accept as true that you gave me a diminutive tap on my shoulder on the dexter, how may I assist you?" The man said using long words.

"Um, wait what did you say?" Sirius said, now truly confused. "Who's Dexter? Why the hell did you name your shoulder Dexter?"

"Dexter is another word for right, you adolescent boy!" the business man said in annoyed fashion. "Now, why did you place your index finger on my right shoulder?"

"Oh, it's called Rite now?"

"That's it; I'm exiting this lift in a most spontaneous way!" the business man left on his level, Sirius totally confused. He shrugged as two teenaged girls, about his age by the looks of them, came on.

"May I press the button for you?" Sirius asked politely.

"Of course, aren't you a charmer!" one of the girls said giggling along with the other.

"And where would two lovely ladies like your selves like to be going?" Sirius asked smiling.

"Top floor, number 4!" the other girl giggled as Sirius smiled too.

"What ever you wish." He pressed the button and then started shaking and making weird noises. He was pretending to be electrocuted. The two girls screamed and gasped in fright. Sirius couldn't take it anymore, he fell over laughing uncontrollably. The two girls stopped shouting and glared daggers at him. One of the girls quickly stamped on his hand with her high heel making him shout in pain. The other girl simply glared at him before exiting the lift with her friend.

"Damn, those girls were hot..." Sirius mumbled as he stood up and rubbed his sore hand.

The elevator rose up higher as it continued to level 4 (the girls, annoyed, hadn't even left the 2nd floor) and a man came on. Sirius held out his arm to stop the doors from closing. The man looked at him questionably.

"Waiting for my friend." Sirius explained as he continued to stand there. He began to whistle and look at his watch. After a few minutes, when the man was just about to get out and use the stairs, Sirius pulled back his arm.

"Hello, Greg." He said to the air. "How's your day been?" He nodded his head as if he was speaking to some one.

"Oh, that Bernie, he's such a pain!"

"You know what," the man said as they were reaching the 3rd floor. "I'll just get off here." He quickly left the elevator and ran down the hall.

"Now what?" Sirius said thoughtfully... "Hmmm..."


"James! JAMES!" Remus yelled as he walked around the mall. They had to meet up with Lily in an hour, and there was no way that would ever happen if he couldn't find both friends soon.

"Sirius!" Remus yelled. "Damn, I wish I had my phone." He looked around. He saw small little shops and large ones, portable ones in the center, small stalls, trying to sell things nobody wanted. Then he saw something that made his heart lighten.

"A Cell Phone store!" he smiled as he walked up to a store that was called 'Cellular'. It had several posters in the window that read things like 'Get Cellular today!' and 'Buy two get one free!'.

Remus looked around the circular room. At the far back there was a desk with 4 different people sitting around it talking to different people. The room's walls were covered in cell phones, cell phone covers, cell phone head phones, and different types of minute plans. Remus walked in and was immediately greeted by several people at once.


"Good Day!"

"Can I help you?"

"Would you care for assistance?"

"Um, I just need a cell phone please." Remus said as he backed away from the sudden crowd of store managers.

"What color?"

"What type?"

"What size?"

"What ring tone?"

"Um, I have absolutely no clue." Remus said.

"Oh, first time cell phone?"

"We can help!"

"Razors are all the rage!"

"This cell phone is the perfect size to fit in your pocket!"

"All I need is a working cell phone!" Remus yelled above the voices.

"Would you like Cingular?"


"Cingular Wireless phones are very good!"

"Have you ever tried using a Nokia cell phone!"

"You look like a man who could use a Motorola phone!"

"Sony! You need a Sony!"

"T-Mobile has many good deals, let me give you some examples –"

The group moved closer to him throwing phones at him and trying to hand him head sets and wires. Remus backed into one of the shelves and several cell phones fell off the wall onto his head. He quickly caught one as it was falling and started to move towards the front desk through the sea of people who were still trying to sell him phones.

"I got a phone thank you!"

"I have no idea what type it is!"

"Let go of my leg, I said LET GO!"

He dragged the one desperate worker across the room, the others following him. He reached the desk and said,

"I want this phone, I don't care what type it is, if there's a better type, I don't want any plans, I don't friggin care what color it is, I JUST WANT A CELL PHONE!" Remus yelled over the loud voices.

"Ok, that will be 92.90 please, what credit card would you like to use?" The women behind the counter asked very, very, slowly.

"Here, just count out the money, keep the change, just make sure I'm able to use the phone right now!" Remus shouted above the roar of voices as he emptied his pockets. He had changed 100 galleons into 150 pounds, and was now dumping the money onto the counter.

"But the cell phone won't work until –"

"MAKE IT WORK!" Remus yelled angrily as he tried to kick the man off his leg.

"Ok, ok, here!" The women said handing him the cell phone back. "I'll make sure it'll work in 20 minutes or earlier!" Remus ran out of the room with the cell phone.

"No! You shouldn't have bought that one! It's not a T-Mobile! Those aren't reliable!" One of the workers shouted following him out of the room. The others followed too, shouting about how he had bought the wrong phone.

"Get him, he bought a Samson!" One of the workers yelled. Remus looked over hi shoulder, yelped slightly before running faster.

"These muggles are crazy!"


James looked out from his hiding spot. Sure, this hiding spot wasn't the greatest place, but it was good enough. I mean, who would look in a gardening shop behind a huge potted plant? He had been running from Remus when he saw a place called 'The Bleeding Hearts' and found out that it was a gardening store that specialized in Bleeding Hearts.

He was now behind a large fern and had no idea what to do next. He had two cell phones and 100 pounds which Lily had given him. He could do any thing! And he was sitting behind a fern in a gardening shop.

"That's it, I'm gonna do something!" James said standing up.

"James, what are you doing here?" said a voice from behind him, making him jump. He turned and saw...

"Lily! What a pleasant surprise!"