Disclaimer: Omg, liek, I don't own the characters that belong to, like, other people.
That's right; it's a new Tiki story. Go party or something. (That was sarcasm, I know you don't care, no need to tell me I'm wrong.) Why am I doing this, you ask? Hmm… three reasons.
Firstly, because I enjoyed writing Summer Days and Autumn Days. They were both very different stories, but they were really useful in consolidating what few writing skills I have. I'm hoping that this story will prove as much of a joy to write for. Secondly, because this is my twentieth story on fan-fiction (dot) net, and I wanted it to be something reasonably interesting, unlike, say, that Meta Knight and Wario one-off. That was atrocious. Thirdly, because I want reviews, and according to the horoscopes, writing a story with 'Winter' and 'Days' in the name will get me lots of reviews. Horoscopes never lie.
On the subject of reviews, anything is welcome. Praise, flames, constructive reviews: all good. Feedback will help me improve. You don't like the way I depicted so-and-so? You don't like Luigi (join the club)? Mention that in your review. I might even read it.
Oh, and to round off this monster of an author's note, if you say nasty things to me, I may cry.
Samus Aran was in a world of trouble.
The creature she was fighting was easily four times her height. It had fiery breath, and was currently fire-breathing at her – in fact, she had just been hit by a stream of fire, and she went flying backwards, the flames engulfing her.
"Not again!" she grumbled, getting up.
"ROAR!" said the ugly creature.
"Oh, roar yourself," said Samus.
"ROAR!" said the ugly creature, not having understood.
Samus leapt up into the air and let forth a wave of ice. It went flying into the creature's mouth, freezing it to the core.
"Go, Samus!" said Popo.
"Shut up," said Samus, jumping just as a huge claw sailed under her. "I'm trying to concentrate here."
The creature looked at her angrily with its single eye, and then, without warning, fried her with a bolt of lightning.
"Not again," moaned Samus, "what am I supposed to do now?"
"Get the sword," suggested Ness, "it can really help."
"No!" said Samus. "I am Samus Aran. And I am going to defeat this thing with distance attacks only."
The creature leaped up into the air and started shooting small, smiley rainbow drops at her.
"Dodge…" whispered Samus, dodging out of the way. But to no avail – she was hit in the head by a rainbow drop.
Everything went black. Samus watched herself die.
"Stupid bloody game!" said Samus, throwing down the controller in disgust.
"Hey, it's about time someone else had a turn," said Popo, grabbing it from her.
"Hey, you kids invited me to your little video game thing," said Samus, standing from the couch.
"To watch," said Nana.
"…" said Samus, arms crossed.
"What?" said Nana.
"…" said Samus, louder this time.
"I can't hear you," said Nana.
"…!" said Samus.
"Oh, right," said Nana, pulling the controller out of her brother Popo's hands just as he was about to press something.
"Anyway," said Ness, "did you think that game was fun, Ms Aran?"
"Call me Samus," said Samus. "Everyone calls me Samus. Until just then, you always called me Samus. And yes, that computer game was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. What was it…?"
Ness gave her an angry look. "It's a video game. And that game was Kirby's Sunshine Flower Rainbow Doom."
"Right," said Samus. "Well, Rainbow whatsit was pretty entertaining for a video game."
"That's right," said Ness. "Spread the message – video games are pretty okay."
Samus eyed him suspiciously. "Is there some ulterior motive to this?" she said.
"No," said Ness, crossing his fingers and dropping a coin into the Lie Jar.
"'Kay," said Samus. "I'd better be off. See you all." She walked off.
As soon as she was gone, all the kids looked at each other.
"It worked," said Young Link, bouncing slightly on the couch. "We've managed to convince a grown-up that games aren't a waste of time!"
"Yeah," said Nana. "Maybe the nerd's plan might actually work after all."
"I'm not a nerd!" said Ness. "I'm a typical male child of slightly above-average intelligence."
"Nerd," said Nana.
"So, when do we ask for a Vee?" said Young Link.
"Not yet," said Ness. "We have to wait it out a bit more."
Young Link sighed. "Stupid you and your 'patience' thing." Pause. "Kirby, you can come out now."
Kirby crawled out from under the couch.
"Did you see anything while you were spying on her?" said Young Link.
"You were with her the entire time," said Kirby sulkily, "what was the point of having me as a spy anyway?"
"Look, a hamburger," said Young Link, turning his attention back to the TV screen.
"What?" said Kirby, his face lighting up. "Hamburger? Where? Where?" He looked around wildly.
On the screen, Kirby was eaten by a smiling fish.
"Stupid happy fish," said Nana.
"So here we are again-a," said Mario, sitting on a plush chair in the atrium of the Smash Mansion.
"Yes," said Link, sitting on a chair next to him. "It's strange, isn't it? It seems so recently that we were in Master Hand's mansion last time, waiting for the second Super Smash Bros tournament. And here we are, up to the third."
"I know what you mean," said Roy, who was on Mario's other side. "Everyone seems to have settled in rather quickly, though."
"Yes," said Link. "Everyone's already unpacked their things; we're all kind of lounging around waiting for Master Hand to make his little welcome speech, the kids seem to have already gotten their video game thing set up, and I'll bet you anything that Captain Falcon has already made a pass on all of the females in the Mansion by now."
At that moment, Captain Falcon came limping into view, a huge bruise apparent on his face.
"Hey, dudes," he muttered, in a strangely high-pitched voice.
"Hey-a," said Mario, sharing a knowing glance with Roy and Link. "Did Samus or Zelda do that?"
"What?" said Captain Falcon. "Oh, the bruise? Nah, I'm about to talk to Zelda now."
Mario, Link and Roy looked at him expectantly.
"Oh, okay, if you've gotta know, I came on to Nana," said Captain Falcon.
"What?" exclaimed Link. "Nana? You – you sick… person! She's only eight, or eleven, or fifteen, or… I don't know, but… that's so irresponsible of you!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Mister Do-Good," said Captain Falcon. "Excuse me while I steal Zelda from your arms."
He limped off, clutching the area between his legs.
An awkward silence hung in the air.
"He's hopeless," said Link. "I should seriously report him… I'm not sure who to, though…"
"Hey," said Roy, "did I mention that I've kept in contact with Marth? Once we went back to Altea, we started to set up a web site. It's called Fiery Emblem, it's going to be great, it's going to have hot gossip and hot girls and-"
"Wait, do you even have internet access in Altea?" said Mario.
The plot hole manoeuvred itself underneath Mario, and he fell through it and into the basement.
"Gossip?" said Link. "Why would anyone want to read your random gossip about the Smash Bros tournament?"
"Because I and Marth are the most popular Smashers ever, without a doubt," said Roy smugly. "People will want to hear what I have to say."
"And what kind of gossip do you have in mind?" said Link, a disapproving expression on his face.
Roy leaned in close. "It's a secret, but… Samus is a girl," he whispered.
Link looked at Roy.
"I know," said Link.
"Oh," said Roy. "Does anyone else?"
"Yes," said Link.
"Better take that off our website," said Roy. "It's going to be the best site. Ever."
"And this is…?" said Marth.
"It's a rocket ship!" proclaimed Fox. "We're going to fly to the moon on it!"
Falco kind of half-nodded, looking extremely weirded out.
"And why can't we just use your normal space ship?" said Marth.
"You know what?" spat Fox. "You're absolutely no fun. No – not just that. You're boring. I hate you."
"…kay," said Marth.
"Come on, Falco," said Fox, "let's teach this punk a lesson."
"Wait a minute," said Falco. "Fox, this is completely stupid. Marth hasn't done anything wrong! You can't just walk around randomly beating up people who don't agree with you!"
Fox gave Falco a weird look.
"Does that mean you're not going to hit him?" said Fox.
"No," said Falco, "I'm not."
"Oh," said Fox angrily. He put his camera away. "You suck too."
"Fine," said Falco. "Screw you, I never liked you anyway." He walked off with Marth.
"Yeah, well, bye," said Fox, "you can be losers together."
Fox waited five seconds.
They didn't come back.
"NUUUUEEEEZZZ!" screamed Fox.
They didn't come back.
"What have I done?" cried Fox. "I've lost my best friend Falco! Possibly forever!"
Fox stroked his chin thoughtfully.
"On the plus side," he added, "things can't get any worse."
It started raining. Indoors.
"NUUUUUUUEEEEE!" screamed Fox.
"I don't think he's following us," said Marth, glancing behind as they strolled down the main staircase.
"Good," said Falco. "I hate him. I can't believe I hadn't done that already."
"He is going to be so mad at you," said Marth.
"Doubtful," said Falco. "If anything, he's going to have a breakdown. Fox is a little bit… fragile, if you get my meaning."
"Fair enough," said Marth. "Hey, have I told you about Fiery Emblem?"
"Fire what?" said Falco.
"Well, it's – woah!" Marth broke off from the sentence, slightly distracted by the fact that he had just tripped over something and was now falling down the last few steps of the staircase and crashing into the carpeted floor below.
"Marth! Are you okay?" said Falco, worried.
"Um… yeah… of course…" muttered Marth.
"Oh, thank goodness," said Falco, relieved.
"That was sarcasm, noob," groaned Marth, falling unconscious.
Falco glanced down at his own feet and noticed Pikachu standing there, whistling and all in all looking pretty unsuspicious.
"Hey, Pikachu," said Falco. "Do you know what Marth tripped on?"
"Pika…" (No…) said Pikachu, shaking his head.
"Oh, okay," said Falco.
"Pika pi chupi ka," (It certainly wasn't me,) added Pikachu.
"Oh, of course," laughed Falco. "Frankly, I'm surprised you even brought up the possibility. I mean, the thought that you could have caused Marth's untimely demise is… well, ludicrous."
Pikachu breathed a sigh of relief.
"Well, I'm glad we settled that," said Falco. "I feel much better."
Falco glanced at the bottom of the steps where Marth lay.
"Oh, that's right," said Falco.
"OMFG MARTH'S DEAD!" Falco screamed.
"No-a, he's not!" proclaimed a voice.
Dr Mario strode into the room.
"Dr Mario?" exclaimed Falco and Pikachu together.
"That's-a right!" said Dr Mario. "It is-a me, Doctor Mario! And I know exactly what is-a wrong with Marth!"
"Oh, wonderful!" said Falco. "For a moment, I thought that my newfound friend had suddenly died!"
"Not to fear!" said Dr Mario. He pulled out a medical textbook, and began to peruse it.
Falco and Pikachu watched with interest.
"Aha! Marth has been knocked unconscious!" said Dr Mario.
"…that was kind of obvious," said Falco.
Dr Mario stared at him angrily. "I am a real doctor!" he said indignantly.
"…right," said Falco.
"That's a lie!" said Pikachu. "I've done some investigation, and I've found out your real identity!"
Everyone present gasped.
"Dr Mario is actually… Zelda!" cried Pikachu.
"Ha!" said Dr Mario. "You're-a wrong!" He ripped off his lab coat. "I am actually… Luigi!"
"Surely not!" gasped Pikachu.
"Luigi? That's… impossible!" said Falco.
"Obviously not," said Luigi.
Silence hung in the air.
"So…" said Luigi. "Aren't you going to ask me why-a I did it?"
"Nah," said Falco.
"You're not going to arrest me or anything?" said Luigi.
Falco shook his head.
"Oh," said Luigi. "Okay."
"This stinks," said Pikachu, trotting up the stairs.
"You know what?" said Falco. "I think I'm going to look for the real Mario, see if I can get Marth some help."
He walked out of the room.
"Nobody loves me," said Luigi sadly.
"Oh-a, woe. Oh, the angst," lamented Luigi.
Luigi got bored and left.
"You finally made it," said Ganondorf pointedly.
Donkey Kong closed the door behind him and took a seat.
The three of them were now sitting on cosy pink armchairs placed in a circle: Ganondorf, Bowser and DK.
The room was dimly lit and had a glowing charcoal fireplace. Frankly, the fireplace wasn't important in the slightest. I don't think the fireplace is going to have anything to do with anything once this line is over, and I'm the author, for goodness' sake. I don't know why I even wrote that. Maybe I was trying to be descriptive. I suck at authorship. (That was supposed to be a joke. Laugh.)
"So what exactly are we doing here?" said DK, glancing confusedly at the other two.
"Obviously we're plotting something malicious and evil," said Bowser.
Ganondorf nodded. "I mean, out of all the Smashers, we're apparently the nastiest. We're almost obligated to go around kidnapping princesses."
"Woah!" said DK, raising his hands and standing up. "That's… that's horrible! I don't kidnap princesses!"
"You used to," said Ganondorf.
"Yeah, well, not any more," said DK. "I'm a good guy now."
"No, you're not," said Bowser. "I mean, look at me! I hug bunnies and I'm still evil enough to burn people to death!"
"You hug what?" said Ganondorf.
"Uh… never mind," said Bowser. "I meant, I hug… monsters. Yeah… monsters."
"Huh," said Ganondorf.
"You know what?" said DK. "You two have fun in your… your 'evil club'. I'm going down to the kitchen to get some bananas."
"Fine," snapped Ganondorf. "You go do your boring ape stuff. We are going to kidnap ourselves some princesses."
DK shrugged and walked out of the room.
As soon as the door was closed behind him, DK started thinking hurriedly.
Oh no, he thought, I've got to warn Zelda!
He ran down the hallway.
…and Peach, he added. I've got to warn Zelda and Peach.
Wait… screw Peach, he thought, nobody cares about Peach much anyway. I have to warn Zelda! Beautiful, sweet… um…
DK continued to run down the stairs. He reached the bottom, stepping on something that was big and heavy with blue hair.
"Where do I go now?" he wondered aloud.
Mario ran into the room, looking concerned.
"Ah, Mario!" said DK, relieved. "Have you seen Zelda?"
Mario looked at DK.
"…I mean, uh, have you seen Peach and Zelda? Not just Zelda?" DK amended.
"I'm afraid-a not," said Mario. "Perhaps they are in the kitchen."
"The kitchen, eh?" said DK.
Meanwhile… in the kitchen… of doooooom…
"I can't believe that pig Link asked me to make scones for everyone!" said Zelda angrily, throwing a blob of yeast at the wall. "What a chauvinist!"
"Hehe," said Peach, picking up a frying pan.
"I mean," said Zelda, "sure, perhaps I'm a better pastry chef than him, but does he really expect me to just make stuff on demand?"
Peach hit herself in the face with the frying pan.
"And he goes on about being such a righteous, good person," continued Zelda. "You know what I mean, Peach?"
"Ow!" said Peach.
Zelda cast a spell on the yeast, causing it to turn into a lump of apple jam. "I mean, if you're so high and mighty and moral, why can't you cook your own stupid meals?"
Peach hit herself in the face with the frying pan.
"I have half a mind to tell Link how completely stupid he is," said Zelda, "just to see the look on his face."
"Ow!" said Peach.
"Now, that would be rich," said Zelda. "I'd need to bring one of those camera things, of course. Just so I can look at that expression whenever I'm feeling down."
Peach hit herself in the face with the frying pan.
"And he calls himself the Hero of Time," said Zelda, cringing as she examined the jam. "Can't he hero himself a bit more time to do a bit of manual labour, instead of prancing around like that?" She laughed at her own wit.
"Ow!" said Peach.
"Hero of Time?" said Zelda. "More like Hero of Slime." She giggled.
"Hey," said Jigglypuff, waddling into the hallway, "long time no see."
(Okay, she really said 'Ig jig piggly ig puff'. Who cares? Just… imagine she's saying that. Same for the other Pokemon, and Yoshi.)
"Hi, Jig-Jig!" said Pichu happily. He waved a hot dog in the air. "Pikachu gave me this hot dog! Isn't he the best?"
Jigglypuff then noticed Pikachu, who was standing right next to Pichu. "Oh, you. Hi."
Pichu chewed on his hot dog.
"I have this bag of potato chips for you," said Jigglypuff, tossing said article to Pichu.
"Yay!" said Pichu. "Thanks, you're the best!"
Pikachu looked at Jigglypuff, annoyed. "Are we still going to try to play favourites with Pichu?"
"Yeah, well, do you have any better ideas?" said Jigglypuff.
"Hmm…" said Pikachu. "We could try just being friends."
"Ooh," said Jigglypuff. "That's a good idea! And then we can get to know each other better, and fall in love, and we can cuddle Pichu together, and then we'll get married, and we'll have a boat, and we'll kill Luigi, and we'll sail all the way to another planet!"
"…" said Pikachu.
"Yeah, exactly," said Jigglypuff.
"Well, until we find something better to do," shrugged Pikachu, "I got you this cake, Pichu…"
Mewtwo glided into the room quietly. "Greetings, fellow Pokemon," he said to them telepathically.
"…or we could gang up on Mewtwo and annoy him!" said Jigglypuff.
"Hey, that's a great idea!" said Pikachu.
"I'll go get some water bombs!" said Jigglypuff
"Don't you dare," said Mewtwo, looking at them menacingly.
Jigglypuff ran into her room, and ran back out again, now holding a heavy-looking balloon.
"Hey, wait!" said Pikachu, racing into his room and running out with a camera.
"If you throw that balloon at me, mortals," said Mewtwo threateningly, "I will make your lives pure misery!"
"Go on…" prompted Pikachu.
Jigglypuff threw the balloon at Mewtwo. It popped, showering Mewtwo with liquid.
"ARGH!" screamed Mewtwo. "My eyes! They burn! I shall have my revenge upon you!"
Pikachu, Jigglypuff and Pichu ran away, really fast.
"He's so going to kill us!" laughed Pikachu as they ran.
"Yeah!" said Jigglypuff. "This is so much fun!"
"Where are we going?" said Pichu.
"He's probably right behind us!" said Pikachu. "We have to run faster!"
"I wouldn't be so sure," panted Jigglypuff. "That balloon was filled with sulphuric acid!"
"Wait… what?" said Pikachu.
"So I guess it's not a water balloon," said Jigglypuff, "more like an acid balloon." She giggled.
"Not… good…" said Pikachu.
Master Hand floated down in front of the Smash Mansion. It was early in the day and the sky was a bright, joyous blue.
"Well, back here again!" he exclaimed. "My Smash Mansion, home to the Super Smash Bros fighting tournaments!"
Crazy Hand floated out through the front door.
"You again…" said Master Hand, slowing.
"Hello, Master Hand!" said Crazy Hand, bobbing up and down really fast. "You thought you could keep me locked up in my padded cell forever? You were wrong!"
"I asked you politely not to interrupt the guests," said Master Hand.
"I have not interrupted the Smashers," said Crazy Hand. "I am a good hand."
"What's that you're holding, then?" said Master Hand, pointing at the small, green, dinosaur-like thing Crazy was holding.
"I… well… it's my new toy!" said Crazy Hand.
"It's Yoshi," said Master Hand.
"ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI…" shouted Crazy Hand at an insane volume.
"Ararararararar…" cried Yoshi.
"ALL COVERED WITH CHEESE…"
"Meh," said Master Hand, "you're not a very interesting Smasher. Crazy, put him down gently when you're done."
"…arararararararararar…" said Yoshi.
"I LOST MY POOR MEATBALLS…"
Master Hand floated in through the front doors of the Smash Mansion.
Thusly the chapter ends.
Please leave a review. Even two words ('tihs sux') are fine. I just want to get an impression of how many people actually read that thing through to the end. Of course, if you have any complaints, praise, suggestions on what I could do better, or other comments, I'd really like to hear them too.
Expect another chapter reasonably soon.