The Wicked die alone.
The words rang in my mind, the voices of the Ozians riping my heart to shreds. If only they knew about Elphie. Wrapping my coat closer to my body I quickened my pace, trudging through the dark forest, up to the castle, where it all happened. The chilling wind wiped at my face, taunting me with each step I took, the branches of the threatening trees scrapping at me, trying to stop me, but nothing could. I had to go back there, to mourn for my best friend. Five years have passed since that day, since I lost the only one who truly cared. How long I planned to return back here, and yet, I never could get myself to enter, it was too much for me. My heart couldn't stand reliving the memory, but then again, what is left of my heart? What did all those years of lying do to it? Every day I had to put on that fake smile, to face those who where blinded by the wizard.
Stumbling into the shadows, I found myself standing in that ghostly room, where my heart shattered so long ago. Collapsing to the ground, tears cascaded down my cheeks, the memory of my only true friend consuming my last bit of sanity. How far I have fallen since that day with the wizard, how superficial I became. I've lost myself, I've lost everything.
"Oh Elphie, what happened? Why did this all have to happen? Why couldn't I stop it?" I muttered, my gaze laying on the stone floor, the face of my best friend in my mind.
"Why couldn't I have stopped this? Why couldn't I have saved you. If only I went with you, if only I wasn't such a coward! Why couldn't I have joined you and Fiyero? Why didn't I stand up to the Wizard?" I screamed, beating my fist against the hard stone. For once my heart didn't ache, my pain bled out as the blood ran from my hands, was that the answer? Is that how I can take this pain away?
"What has happened to me?" I questioned, bringing my hands up to examine the damage I did to them, but I could no longer see them, now I saw the face of Elphie, her hands clutching the broom.
"Come with me." She pleaded, extending the broom towards me. Fear and ecstasy shot through my body,
"Think of what we could do." Her eyes twinkled with the thought of us working together, to change what is wrong with this world, to make it better. Oh how I wanted to go with her, but at the same time I was terrified, what if the wizard came after us? What would people think of us? They would call us wicked, for they all loved the wizard. I couldn't do it, I couldn't give up everything I know, I couldn't go against all of Oz. I wasn't as strong as Elphie.
My mind returned to here, and now.
"Why would they call you wicked, my dear Elphie, I'm the one who was wicked." Slowly my gaze raised to stare at the stars in the western sky.
"You should have been 'the good'. You should have been the wizard, who could have matched your power? Who would stand up of what they believe in like you did? You and Fiyero.. It is I who was the wicked one." Yes, Why hadn't I seen it before? I was so blind, to think of myself as good, why couldn't they see it was Elphiba the good?
The Wicked's Lives are lonely
The wicked die alone
it just shows when you're wicked
you're left only
on your own
I sang to myself, slowly coming to realization, I would die alone. The question is, when? Why put myself through the torture of knowing my betrayal of my best friend. She wanted me to keep up with the good act, to change the world for she could not. I tried, but every time I must celibate her death, I want to scream at them, to tell them what really happened, and each time I come closer and closer to losing control. I can't betray Elphie's memory any longer, I can't go through another celebration. Rising, I silently walked over the the open window, looking down at the ground below. What was left of my heart fluttered seeing how high up it was, a fall would certainly kill. Taking a deep breath, I climbed into the window, letting my feet dangle off the edge, my hands gripping the stone to steady myself.
"The wicked die alone." I repeated the words over and over again, looking down at the ground.
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by
the rules of someone else's game
Too late for second guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
close my eyes
I remembered Elphie's words, yes, now it was my time to leap. Closing my eyes, I smiled seeing Elphie's carefree face, as we stood hand in hand, at the emerald city. Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself for this.
"No one mourns the wicked." I spoke breathlessly, taking my leap from grace.