A/N's: Hello again! I didn't get a review for the last chapter but I got a review in general and that got me writing for this one :) Thank you, cyathula for your review! And thank you to all those are still reading this even though I'm probably one of the slowest updaters in the world sometimes... So thank you D (really happy)

Disclaimer: I don't own TOS.


"So lonely inside...so busy out there... and all you wanted was somebody who cares..."

- All You Wanted by Michelle Branch

Chapter 13: Childish Wanting

How could he...just how was it possible?! He slammed his fist down on the handle of his throne. How could he have fallen asleep? His crystal prevented him from doing so! It stopped him from returning to those painful, but beautiful dreams of his sister. He didn't want to sleep also because he did not want to see the dream of his own downfall ever again. It frightened him and caused him to cower like the child he used to be. He refused to allow his other half to resurface and make him feel things again. He was Yggdrasill, lord of the angels. He did not need love, sympathy or friendship. He only needed to manipulate those feelings...the feelings that resided in others. That way he would gain allies that were loyal to him and him alone; even if he wasn't loyal to them back.

Nonetheless, he had fallen asleep and the had returned. It was an older version of Lloyd with a half-elf named Genis that stood before him, telling him of his wrong doings and how, if he repented, he could be saved. His hands clenched in fear and anger. He could not allow this to happen. Sweat beaded his forehead for the first time in centuries. Lloyd... was the influence of the Angelus Crown not enough? Was there a chance that maybe... when the time came to give it up that Lloyd would refuse? Then that half-elf or Kratos or Yuan might show up and save the filthy being. He may have been the son of a Seraphim... but once he was done completing the Crown, he'd he as worthless as the humans in the ranches.

He needed to do something about that boy. He rested his head on the palm of his right hand, deep in thought. The thought came to him like lightning and wiped away all his fears with the force of a powerful wave. He couldn't believe that he hadn't thought of it sooner. He smirked. The boy would be at his knees before him and never again would he have to worry about Lloyd possibly betraying him...and all for one reason.

The boy would owe him his life.


Kratos watched Lloyd from afar as he did his mission with Yuan, happily paying attention to all the pointers he was giving him. His boy was 14 now and he was getting stronger at swordsmanship by the day. Yuan was always amazed at how much better Lloyd would get just after a week of training. It could have been the fact that Kvar no longer needed to see him or the fact that he'd been spending more and more time out of Welgaia. Either way, Lloyd was becoming a powerful swordsman. He smiled. Anna had always told him that he'd be strong.

His hands tightened around the bark of the tree he was sitting in at the mere thought of her. But he pulled his thoughts away as Lloyd battled an Egg Bear with Yuan close by in case anything went wrong. The boy used lightning, then attacked it head on with his swords. He seemed to win quite easily.

That was another thing Kratos and Yuan were surprised about. Lloyd was a duel swordsman. He battled with two swords, as opposed to one, which was what Kratos thought he was going to stick to. But, nonetheless, Lloyd was quite good at it, and getting better all the time. Kratos was happy that Lloyd was becoming stronger...

...Because he himself certainly wasn't.

He was getting worse every year. He, the great warrior from the Kharlan War, could not face up to either of two children. The first was his son, whom he loved dearly but he could not allow him to learn of who he was. His time to try had passed and now, he only feared the fact that the boy would hate him or that Yggdrasill would kill him. It was painful not to let the boy know who he was but it was for the best. Lloyd would be happier not knowing, not to mention safer. He kept telling himself it was for the best. But even though he couldn't tell Lloyd anything, didn't stop him from protecting him. The second child that he couldn't face up to...

...was Mithos.

Mithos may have had the form of a man but in reality, he was still a child. He was a lost child who had suffered the loss of terribly dear family member. She was so dear to him, that she acted like a mother and a sister to him, so when she died, he lost both. He became lost in the thoughts of his sister and soon became entangled in them, forever dreaming of her return, as someone with evil intentions for an ambition that just couldn't possibly come true arose and took his place. That man, called Yggdrasill, was not Mithos. He was another form of Mithos, another part of him. The part that Yuan and Kratos did not know... but everyday they wondered if the old Mithos would ever return, even though it was obvious that he was deeply lost. He was so lost, that there was no hope of finding him again. They figured that the only way to save him was to stop his madness... and end it once and for all...for neither of them were strong or daring enough to tell him face to face that what he was doing was wrong.

Kratos clenched the bark until it cracked and shattered into pieces at his grip. Lloyd brought up his swords, alerted by the noise as he surveyed the area around him. Finding and seeing nothing, he slowly lowered his sword as Kratos spread his wings, and took off, unheard by neither Yuan nor Lloyd. For now, Kratos was powerless to do anything for anything he did would only prove to be futile in the end but...soon. Soon, he would be able to act and things would finally be brought back to order.


Later on that day, Lloyd returned to Welgaia with nothing to do. He sighed, totally disappointed to be even near Welgaia again but decided that maybe he was in luck. Yuan said that the next mission would be in a day or two and mentioned something about going to the library for something. Lloyd didn't care what he was supposed to look up but he had a strange urge to do some research... on his family.

The mere thought of the word grabbed his heart and squeezed until he felt as though he couldn't breathe. The feeling slowly resided, leaving him slightly dizzy but he'd be fine. It'd been happening more often and getting less painful each time. He sighed as the pain fully left his body and he continued on his way to the library.

Where and what would he look for though? He didn't know his last name or the names of his parents. Although, every time he thought about them, two letters always came into his mind... A.I. He had no clue what they meant but he knew they meant something. As he entered the library, he decided to start with that.

Calmly yet somewhat desperately, he began searching through the library for any signs of the initial A.I. He looked through encyclopedia's, history books, present day books and even at maps. He found a few things but they didn't seem to have any connection to him whatsoever. He sighed as he put some of the books he had read through back. Just as he finished putting the last one back on it's proper shelf, an angel came floating in. Lloyd regarded it as it bowed formally.

"Lord Yggdrasill requests your presence. He is in the throne room waiting for you," it said before bowing again and leaving. Lloyd sighed, slightly fearing the fact that Yggdrasill had only "requested" his "presence". There was definitely something up...


Yggdrasill was ready. He already knew what he was going to say to the boy. He laughed to himself. It was just so perfect! The boy would be loyal to him, and him alone no matter what happened. He straightened himself as Lloyd walked in and bowed before him.

"You summoned me, Lord Yggdrasill?" Yggdrasill smiled. Yuan had taught him the formalities well.

"Yes, Lloyd but first, may I ask, what were you doing in the library?" he asked slyly, knowing full well what the boy had been up to. He'd been muttering about for days, weeks even. No one could say that Yggdrasill hadn't noticed Lloyd's little heart problem every once in awhile. He did worry that his subject might be dying on him.

Lloyd tensed, unsure of what to say. He knew that if he lied but Yggdrasill already knew, then he'd be severely punished for it... but if he told the truth and Yggdrasill didn't know... it could end up being the same ending. But even if Yggdrasill did know and he told the truth...wouldn't it all be the same in the end anyways? He decided to go with the safest answer.

"I was... trying to search for any names of... my parents." He avoided the "F" word as much as possible. He didn't want the heart pain coming back again, especially in front of Yggdrasill.

"I see. I guess that now would be the time I told you the truth about your...parents, Lloyd." Lloyd looked up, surprise and shock written all over his face.

"You knew them?!" he exclaimed.

"Hm, in a way. But I did not know them personally."


"But, ...hm. It'd be better if I started from the beginning. When you were born, your parents were running from a monster. It was a great frightening monster, with a single gem in the middle of it's face." Lloyd's eyes widened as a memory flashed into his mind and Yggdrasill continued his description.

It had huge hands with claws so sharp they looked like they could cut through trees like butter. It was huge and it's roar was filled with pain and confusion. It was green with a single blue gem in the middle of it's face. He could hear someone crying...a baby and someone shouting for the monster to stop...a man. But who...?

Lloyd snapped back into reality. What had that been...?

"They ran for three years with you, until the monster finally caught up to them. I happened to be nearby to try and help them but I came too late. Your father told me to leave and after he slayed the monster but it did something to him, causing him to stab your mother." Lloyd shook as another memory burst into his mind.

"...kill me, please!" A woman cried as a sword suddenly pierced her body and she returned to her normal self and collapsed.

"After that, I'd had enough but your father had already killed himself with his own sword. I tried to save your mother but it was too late for her. So, she asked me to take care of you." Lloyd inhaled sharply. That...couldn't be true. Could it...? The memories that had flashed into his mind...were they memories of that time? Yggdrasill stood up from his chair and kneeled down in front of Lloyd until they were looking into each other's eyes.

"I saved you, Lloyd. I saved you from the terrible fate that had befallen them. Your father had merely been taken over by the monster. They're difficult to kill sometimes," he whispered quietly. Lloyd lowered his head.

"Yes... Lord Yggdrasill. I will continue to serve you until I am no longer needed by you," he said, feeling as though it needed to be said. Yggdrasill smiled.

"Good. Then I will send you on a mission with Kratos tomorrow. Your objective will to be to check up on the Chosen in Tethe'alla." Lloyd gave him one final bow.

"Yes, Lord Yggdrasill."


The mission had been short and sweet. Lloyd had decided to avoid meeting the Chosen and allowed Kratos to do so on his own. He trained by himself just outside the city, fighting off numerous beasts. He had just finished up the last one as Kratos returned.

"I see that you're improving at a very fast rate." Lloyd smiled.

"Heh, thanks. Yuan's been telling me that too. I just feel as though I need to be strong for something. Although, ever since a few days ago, I've felt like I had to be stronger for an even greater reason." Kratos regarded him curiously.

"Oh? What is it that happened a few days ago?"

"Yggdrasill told me what happened to my parents." Kratos froze, waiting for Lloyd to continue. "He told me that a monster killed them...that the monster took over my father just after he killed it, then he killed my mother and himself soon after. If Lord Yggdrasill hadn't been there I probably would've died or something. So I fell almost as though... I need to make sure I'm strong enough in order to be useful to him." Kratos carefully held his anger at bay.

"...I see. So your parents are dead then?" Lloyd nodded sadly.

"Yeah, but I bet they're keeping an eye out for me. But whatever, let's go beat up some monsters before the day is done!" he offered enthusiastically as Kratos agreed, knowing that he didn't have any choice in the matter. As they wandered off, Kratos felt that anger for Yggdrasill grow... and he knew that something... Someday, something would be put right. And he was act on it when the time came to do so.


Me: WOW I loved typing that chapter.

Anna: How come you're updating so early?

Me: It's my New Year's present to all my readers who stuck by (gives them cookies)

Anna: Hey! I wanna a cookie!

Me: hai, hai... Ok I'll be updating as soon as I possibly can! Look out for Oyako fluff next chapter :) tee hee hee.


Preview: Chapter 14: Childish Dreams

"Lloyd, the Regeneration journey starts next year."

"...and a voice...with the feel of a child, answers... oh Mamela."