Shawn sat in his room listening to the radio blaring in the background and silently pilled the label on the bottle in front of him. Two months, two months she had be gone, he let the thought spin in his head. Why did she have to run? With that thought he took a healthy swig from the bottle and then sat it down on the table.
Every night he sat and thought about her leaving and drank him self-blind. During the day he felt as if he was missing some important piece to the puzzle that he was over looking. Its like it was there in front of him but he couldn't place his finger on it. His mind tried to grab it but never could. So much like to night he drank and drank.
He thought about Kevin and Christy. He wanted to know why they were so hard on Tammy but all he ever got out of them was, she's just not being fair and its not right, but there had to be more to it. Kevin never was the type to care about fairness, it was always life's not fair, but this time Kevin was down right angry about it and that just didn't hold water.
Then his thoughts turned to Christy and the fact that she had a baby by either Chris or Adam and neither one of them seemed to care. Hell if it were him, he would move heaven and earth to find out if it was his, but not those two they hung out with Christy and Kevin as if nothing was out of place. It was like the thought of being a father hadn't affected them and then on top of that the baby had been gone for two months and you would think Christy would be a bundle of nerves but she wasn't. Hell when the other women around there didn't get to see their children they cried all the time about how much they missed them but not Christy.
That thought twisted around in his mind as Shawn stared at the bottle in front of him and then it hit him. Unless it wasn't her child, unless she wasn't the mother, could it be. "God damnit," Shawn hissed as he threw the bottle across the room.
Shawn stormed from his room and headed down the hall to Kevin's where he planned on not leaving until he had some answers. He came to Kevin's door and pounded on it, "Open the fucking door," He roared. Kevin yanked open the door and stared openly at his friend who was seething with anger. "What in the hell," Kevin finally managed to say.
"Out of my way I have questions and they better damn well get answered," Shawn said as he shoved past Kevin. He entered the room and spotted Christy sitting on the bed. He grabbed her by the arms and shook her, " tell me damn you, tell me the truth," Shawn said. Christy shivered from the anger that dripped from his voice. Kevin grabbed Shawn shoving him away from Christy.
"Damnit you son of a bitch, don't ever lay your hands on her again. What in the hell is wrong with you?" Kevin said through clinched teeth as he stared down at his friend. Shawn looked from Kevin to Christy before he spoke, "I want to know about the baby," Shawn said looking pointedly at Christy.
"What about the baby," Christy stuttered. "Cut the crap that baby hasn't been hear for two months and you Chris or Adam don't act a bit bothered by it," Shawn said seething with anger. Christy didn't know what to do she felt trapped, "I don't understand what you're talking about Shawn," she said looking at him. "Ok then fine let me put it to you this way. That baby disappeared the same time that Tammy did," Shawn said eyeballing Kevin and Christy.
Kevin cut a glance toward Christy before he spoke, "Christy its time to tell him the truth," he stated as he looked at her. "But Kevin," Christy said preparing to plead with him to keep Tammy's secret. "NO damnit enough is enough, this should have been done along time ago. No you tell him or I will," Kevin said turning to look at Shawn.
Christy slowly turned her gaze to Shawn. Yes it was time to tell him the truth, I just hope Tammy will forgive me, Christy thought to her self before she spoke. "Sit down Shawn, and don't say a word before I'm through. If I have to do this your going to understand all the why or how comes," Christy said as she watched Shawn sit down.
Shawn sat down and looked at Christy, swallowed anticipating the words not yet spoken. "You remember when you stayed with Tammy right," Shawn shook his head it recognition. "Well Tammy feel deeply in love with you. When you left she was devastated and changed. It was like she was lost, she ached every night. I tried to get her to shake it off but there was no use, I tried to talk her into going to the cave but she steadfastly refused," Christy took a deep breath as she looked at Shawn. He sat there motionless, hanging on her every word.
Shawn memory flooded with images as soon as Christy mentioned the cave. The memory washed over him causing his heart to pound faster and then a single tear slid from his eye.
Christy caught the far away look in his eyes like he was reliving something unforgettable. "Well any way time passed, and during that time she began to change and then finally one day she went to the doctor," Christy stopped when she noticed Shawn sit bolt upright in his chair, she only waited a moment before she went on. "The doctor told her she was pregnant," Christy didn't go on she wanted to let Shawn take in everything she had said.
Her words slammed into his brain like a battering ram. If he had had the slightest buzz before coming here it was gone now. She was pregnant, the words washed over him filling up every corner of his mind. The baby, the one he had held was his, his son. His son the phrase kept dancing across his mind. He looked up at Christy urging her with his eyes to go on.
Christy looked at Shawn and swallowed preparing to go on but was stopped short by Kevin. "I can take it from here. You see when you left and didn't take her with you she felt unwanted by you. In her eyes she took your leaving, as she was a burden on you. And it scared her to think that you would view her child your son in the same light," Kevin said with a heavy sigh.
Shawn sat quite for a moment letting the words sink in. "But it wasn't true, I didn't think she would be a burden on me. Jesus I love her, I didn't take her because I thought it would be unfair to her," Shawn said as tears streamed freely down his hard face. Not only had he lost Tammy he had lost his son.
"Did you even bother to ask her," Christy spit out angry with him for the hurt he caused on her friend and for being so utterly stupid. "No I didn't, I just thought it was for the best. But I was planning on coming back, I called, I fucking called for Christ's sake. Every day I called and every day I received no answered," Shawn said to her friend.
Christy couldn't help but notice the sorrow that filled his voice with each word he spoke. "I love her and if given the chance I will love that baby," Shawn said not caring that his voice cracking from the tears. "If only we knew where she was," Kevin said taking a seat on the bed.
"You mean you don't know," Shawn said looking at his friend. "No we don't," Christy said looking at him. "But I would almost bet who does," Kevin said looking between the two of them. "Who," both said echoing each other as the looked at Kevin. "Marc," Kevin let the name slide easily from his mouth.
Shawn stood up to head for the door but was stopped by Kevin, "Now don't go all half cocked after Marc. You know Marc as well as I do you want get a damn thing from the man going in there the way you are now, let me deal with Marc," Kevin stated looking down at his friend.
Shawn looked at him before agreeing to let him handle Marc. He then said good night and went back to his room where he could be alone. He pulled a chair up by the window and looked out at the night. "Where ever you are Tammy. I will find you and my son, and then we will become a family if I have to drag you kicking a screaming to the alter," Shawn said as the tears rolled down his face.