Startled out of a dead sleep – a sleep that he needed, for cripe's sake – Kon used his newly attained super-speed to find out what the fuck was going on with all due haste. The sooner he obliterated whatever bad guy was disturbing his rest, the sooner his head could hit the pillow again.
He ended up in the kitchen, watching with shock as Cassie floated two feet above the floor, her toes clenched and unclenching as she eyed the linoleum as if it was a death trap.
"Cassie?" Kon said sleepily, rubbing his eyes with one hand to make sure that he was really seeing what he was seeing. "What the fuck are you doing?" Once the brightness from the fluorescent lighting wore off of his pupils, he spotted the giant knife she was carrying in her hand, and immediately the contingency plans for 'What To Do If One Of Our Teammates Turn Evil' ™Robin popped into his head.
Then Kon mentally smacked himself, realizing that Cassie would have been trying to use the knife on him if she were evil. Or, well, using Kryptonite would probably make more sense, but he was too tired for his brain to actually function.
There's a…" She shuddered, then, seemingly collecting herself, gave him a dead serious stare and said, "If you see anything about this big–" she spread her hands about a foot apart, "–with eight legs coming your way, let me know. I have to kill it–" here she twitched, grimacing, obviously not liking the idea, "–before it develops language skills."
For all they were a metahuman couple, there were still some surprisingly mundane facets to their relationship. Kon had never actually contemplated being up in the middle of the night because of an insect invasion in the kitchen, however. He probably should have; those giant space spiders that he'd fought back at CADMUS with Guardian had to have come from somewhere.
Kon did his best not to voice his disbelief at the thought that Wonder Girl was afraid of a stupid spider. "There's a large arachnid loose in the kitchen?" he asked, thinking that maybe there was an extremely poisonous scorpion or something.
Cassie nodded jerkily, eyeing the floor with the same wariness she gave shadowed corners during battle. A wariness usually exhibited because some crazed criminal might have been hiding nearby, not because a rather large bug was loose in the Tower.
"You want me to kill the spider?" Kon offered, using what little common sense he'd been programmed with to not make fun of her. 'Aw, want the big, tough Superboy to kill the ickle icky spider for you?' would not win him any brownie points.
Whatever those were. Mm, brownies sounded good. Too bad Bart ate all of them at dinner… Right, spider. Large spider, though from Cassie's gestures not nearly as big as those giant green glowing ones from Neptune or wherever had been.
Where the hell was the Raid when you needed it?
Cassie turned around to stare at him, blonde hair whipping against her neck in tousled curls. "If you kill that nasty-assed piece of nature and dispose of it outside, I will give you a blowjob every day for the next month," she said bluntly.
Whoa! Jackpot! Kon blinked rapidly in surprise. Forget disco; if this is what chivalry gets me, I'll give it CPR everyday for the rest of my fraggin' life. "Every day?" he asked dumbly. They'd only just started their carnal explorations beyond second base a few weeks previously, but Kon already knew he was addicted to the way her lips felt wrapped around him.
"Every day that I see you," Cassie clarified, flushing as if seemingly realizing just what she'd said. She cleared her throat, ducked her head and waved towards the shadowed end of the kitchen with the hand not holding the butcher knife in a vise-grip. "Now, get to work, Super Spider Killer. Or you won't get your 'reward.'" She floated up into the corner of the kitchen ceiling, after first checking warily for any stray arachnids.
With that incentive, Kon shook off the last of his sleepiness and went to work. Ten minutes later, he had finally tracked down the 'nasty-assed piece of nature' – which was only half a foot in length, but still pretty grody, and he could understand why Cassie was grossed out by it – using a combination of his super-hearing and his X-Ray vision. A quick flash of his heat vision, and they had one extra-large crispy-fried critter, which Kon tossed out the window.
Cassie breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the spider fly through the air – and away from her. She then proceeded to pounce on Kon and shower him with thank you kisses – thankfully after putting down the butcher knife.
Kon thoroughly enjoyed his reward, and thought he could get used to his sleep being interrupted, if this was the payoff.