I possess no ownerships, rights, or properties to Ranma 1/2. All rights, ownerships, or any other legal holdings are all the properties of their respective owners. I have not been paid for this work of fanfiction.
--(#$#)-- (This is my scene break, since the editor for FF isn't working right)
Inspired by Innortal's work: The Ranma Omake Files: Innortal Style
All Hail Innortal!
"Is no problem, hot water reverse curse until next time cold water hit, see?" The Guide changed the cursed panda body into the form of a sulking Saotome Genma with the aid of a kettle. The man had actually noticed that something was wrong after impacting the water, and, fearing a concussion, had crawled out to discover his new form.
"BWA HA HA HA!" Ranma howled with laughter from the top of his bamboo pole. "Serves ya right, Pops!"
Annoyed, Genma picked up a rock and threw it at Ranma. "Quiet, foolish boy!" Oh, man, Nodoka's not gonna be pleased with this! At least Ranma didn't pick up something. Genma shuddered to think what his wife would do if Ranma turned into something unmanly like… like a girl.
"Oh, so not good, young sir fall in Spring of Drowned… eh, Drowned… You know, that new spring, just made. No one fall in that spring before, no know what is."
In horror, Saotome Genma realized that Ranma hadn't moved out of the way of the rock, (since it hadn't been aimed at him, and he'd been too busy laughing) and it had managed to hit the bamboo hard enough for it to break under Ranma's weight.
A horrible, screeching, ear-piercing WAILING howled across the entire valley, making Genma and the Jusenkyo Guide slap their hands over their ears. The spring Ranma had fallen into seemed to explode outward, and a huge shape loomed over them both, hovering in mid-air.
"Boy?" Genma croaked weakly. "Is that you?"
The tremendous form screeched/wailed again, pieces of its black, spiky/crystalline body flushing a reddish color.
"I think he mad," muttered the Guide, and bolted for his hut.
It didn't occur to Genma that Ranma/thing was probably mad at him until the flying Ranma/thing started firing LASERS at him.
The Tendo family was both startled and a little frightened when a panda, carrying a great mass of wrapped chains in the shape of a boy showed up in their home. They were even more startled when the panda produced a sign that read, Hot water, please.
(One quick application of hot water later…)
"Its true horror has always been shrouded in mystery, but now…" said Soun, attempting to sound wise. "Saotome, does your son…?" he gestured at the pile of chains.
"To my everlasting shame, he does!" sobbed Genma, a showing of false tears flowing down his face. "Oh, that my son is so worthless that he can't even dodge rocks that I throw in other directions while he's standing still and not looking!"
There was a collected silence from the Tendo sisters as they tried to figure out how that made any sense, while Soun seemed to take these words as gospel.
"Foolish boy," Genma scolded the pile of flat chains. "How could you… you… you…"
Totally flat, wet pile of chains.
"Oh, how cute!" squealed Kasumi, a nearby empty cup of water on the table indicating the latest accident.
"You… you… you…" Genma seemed to be stuck as he noticed a tiny black creature being held by an affectionate Kasumi.
"What is it?" Nabiki asked. "It's not a cat, that's for sure."
"But it is pretty cute," stated Akane.
"… you… you… you…"
The creature adopted a flat, annoyed expression, just in time for a beam of red, blistering power to fly right out of its forehead and blast Saotome Genma out the door. (1)
With a now-smug expression on its face, it hopped out of a shocked Kasumi's grasp, passed Akane and Nabiki, both just about frozen in place, and over Soun, whose hair now stuck out at every angle. It reemerged from the kitchen as a young boy with black hair bound up in a pigtail. Oddly, the red crystal has remained embedded in his forehead.
"Stupid old man," he grumbled, glaring at the smoldering pile of flesh stumbling in from the back yard. "Why are we here?"
"Uh, well, son… you see… Soun and I made a promise long ago to unite the two branches of Anything Goes… in… in, um… marriage. So…"
He shuddered under his son's glare. "Sopicktheoneyouwantshe'syourfiancée!"
Ranma's face slid into the same annoyed, flat expression as the creature's face. Genma paled. "Um, maybe we can go back to China, and get cured? Maybe this isn't a good time for 'fiancées'?"
The crystal on Ranma's forehead flared again.
The Tendo family's collective thought s they watched Genma got blown up, around, and into the stratosphere was a collective, 'What in the world drowned in that spring?'
"I think your pet is getting sick, monster woman. If I get some kind of galactic flu off of it, you're paying for the medical."
"Stuff it, Ayeka. Are you ok, Ryo-ohki? You almost drowned in that nasty spring, we don't need you getting sick on top of it," Ryoko said, cuddling her pet/ship.
Hee hee hee… anyone who gets in this Ranma's way is going to get fried. I wonder how Herb is going to deal with Ranma when he locks him into a form capable of shifting into a ship that can assault Jurai and get away with it.
(1) Fu, Ryo-ohki's younger 'sister,' can do this in Tenchi Muyo GXP!, so don't tell me Ryo-ohki can't.