"Earth to Olivia, are you there or still on a vacation in la la land?" Stabler asked her as she stared out her window as they drove to meet Fin at a pub after their shift to grab a bite to eat. She mentioned that she couldn't stand the stations stiff coffee anymore and was starving before she went to see the doctor and Fin wouldn't take no for an answer once he brought up the idea of going out for dinner. She needed to get out of there, she needed a get away and as pathetic as it was driving twelve blocks away to a small pub was what she needed until Fin decided that it would be better for Elliott to drive her since he had to handle some things before joining them. The tension was so thick in the air that it could be cut with a knife, she was regretting agreeing to go out tonight more than anything.
"I wish I was on vacation" She dryly said. Olivia didn't want to give Elliott mundane responses but her mind was still spinning at the words she read in the doctor's book, she wasn't even able to act like she was perfectly fine.
"Liv, can I ask you something?" Elliott asked her as he pulled in front of the pub and just sat in the car after he turned the ignition off. "What is it?" She asked him staring at him wondering why he wasn't leaving the car.
"What the hell is up your ass? Ever since you talked to the doctor you have been a moody bitch to me. If you want to talk just spit it out because I am not going to kiss your ass for much longer." He said to her as she sat there with her mouth slightly opened looking like she was ready to slap him across the face.
"Don't even start with me on talking, I am not the one here who has anything to hide" Olivia said as she opened the car door and walked into the place.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Eliott said as he watched her slam the door. He knew there was no possible way for her to know how he had been feeling or what he desired but it wasn't a lie to say that Elliott was worried that her words led on to more than just a smart ass remark by his co worker.
In the bar she went straight into the bathroom and let him do the ordering, she wanted to avoid him, push him away because it was out of fear. Olivia looked into the mirror and saw a woman that was terrified of wanting something for so long and once it was in reaching distance she didn't know how to handle it and Olivia Benson knew how to handle everything well almost everything.
Everything became obvious to her, the way he would go out of his way to drive her home then stall when they got to her house, how she would sleep in the crib and he would watch her before waking her up when he thought she was still sleeping. More recently she felt his eyes on her body but what alarmed her most was that she enjoyed it.
She left the bathroom and he sat at a booth in a corner towards the back and already ordered a pitcher of beer. She was ashamed for not knowing how to deal with the situation; if she hadn't pried her eyes on material that wasn't meant for her eyes they wouldn't be dead silent in the car rider, they would crack cheesy jokes and complain about the lack of sleep that neither one of them seemed to grow accustomed to after all these years.
Her mind continued to speed; he looked like he was in deep concentration as his eyes shifted around the room. Olivia looked over at him and all her mind could think was of how he would feel kissing her, touching her, watching her move onto of him and how he would feel buried inside her. She felt her cheeks heat up and took a seat across from him. She was actually tempted on reaching in-between his legs to confirm his attraction for her and settle whatever this was once and for all but then again that was her imagination getting the best of her, she could never.
"Listen…I- don't know what's going on" She blurted out as she poured a beer for herself.
"You have bitten my head off out of nowhere that's what happened." Elliott said before taking a gulp of his drink.
"I am sorry, I have a lot on my mind and I shouldn't take it out on you," her eyes met his this time.
"I know things are far from normal between us but we can't do this anymore, I can't handle it anymore. I think I am too old for this" He said adding a smile to the end of his words to see her reaction. If she smiled back she was just moody, if not then it was more serious.
She didn't smile but stared at him in a way that he never experienced before that night.