A spoof of The Gremlins.



The Gremlins in 30 Lines!



Mr. Pelzer: "Can I buy that strange, unidentified creature and introduce it to a foreign environment and then spend the rest of my life dealing with the unpredictable repercussions that are bound to follow?"

Old man (incredulously): "Why on earth would you want to do that?"

Mr. Pelzer: "Christmas present for my son."

Old man (nodding): "Oh, now I understand. But NO! It's not for sale!"

A few minutes later, in a dark, deserted street, the old man's grandson hands Mr. Pelzer the Mogwai. Fortunately, because they are in a dark, deserted street, it is the last place in which anyone expects a dodgy deal to occur.

Boy: "Don't let the creature see bright light, get wet, or - "

A car drives past very noisily.

Mr. Pelzer: "Sorry? What was that last thing?"

Boy: "Under no circumstances must you EVER - "

An elephant thunders past, drowning out the little boy's voice.

Mr. Pelzer (again): "Sorry?"

Boy (rolling his eyes): "DON'T LET THEM EAT AFTER MIDNIGHT!"

Mr. Pelzer: "Sorry?"

Boy (exasperated): "Look, I'll write it down for you." He scribbles on a piece of paper and hands it to the man.

Mr. Pelzer: "Thank you."

The boy leaves.

Mr. Pelzer: "Wait a second - what was that last thing again?"

Too late, the boy has gone…. Mr. Pelzer looks at the piece of paper that the boy gave him. It says, very clearly:


Mr. Pelzer: "Oh dear, I wonder what this cryptic code could mean. Perhaps my son will understand."



The next morning….

Mr. Pelzer (excitedly): "Son! You'll never guess what I've got you for Christmas!"

Billy: "Does it have anything to do with that strange creature that I found in your car and gave a bath to, took a photograph of, and fed that giant takeaway to after midnight?"

Mr. Pelzer: "Oh bugger."




Hope you liked it!!


Here's how the heartache could have been prevented (rewind to the beginning):


Mr. Pelzer: "Can I buy that strange creature for my son?"

Old man: "No."

Mr. Pelzer: "Please?"

Old man: "No."

Mr. Pelzer: "OK."

He buys a CD for his son instead. Everyone continues with their lives as usual.

The End


Ah, what a missed opportunity.