To Whomever Reads This First:
This is the suicide letter, not to mention the Last Will and Testament of one Roonil Wazlib. Damnit. Ronald Weasley. Stupid spell check pens….
Anyway. Onto the deadly Sirius matter at hand. Damnit! Stupid spell check!
In this letter you will find detailed plans on how I single handedly planned and carried out the exploding of my siblings.
My plan is this: I will hide behind the statue of Hilda the Stump-Armed, until the time that my three siblings will meet in front of the statue. In case you are wondering how the three will come to be in the same place at the same time, I will have sent letters to each side, pretending to be from the other and asking for a peace treaty.
In front of the statue of Hilda the Stump-Armed.
Anyway. Once all three victims are in place, I will then cast a spell which I haven't decided upon yet. There will be a monstrous explosion, and by that time the Weasley War will hopefully be over.
Of course, the explosion won't hurt anyone, and won't really do anything other than get some smoke in their faces and maybe they'll lose some eyebrows. In fact, I don't really know what good it will do at all, but Dumbledore said it worked for him, so…I figure it'll work for me.
By the time the smoke clears I will hopefully have run from the scene, but it is quite possible that I will trip and therefore be caught and blamed for the explosion. Which really isn't my fault if you think about it. Dumbledore made me do it.
So that brings me to the first matter. The suicide letter. For surely blowing up my siblings qualifies as suicide, due to the fact that as soon as my dear old mum finds out, she'll kill me. Or embarrass me to death with a howler. Either way, it'll be nasty. Mark my words.
Onto my Will. I want Harry to have my chessboard. The players like him better, anyway. They've started calling me 'freckle face' and asking if they can switch sides and play for Harry. They really don't like it when I send them into imminent doom after such comments.
For Hermione, she gets all the school papers and essays I've ever written. I figure it's fitting, seeing as she wrote them all anyway.
Seamus can have my broom, and Snape can have Pig. Hopefully he'll annoy Snape to death, like he does to me.
Ginny and the twins get NOTHING. You hear me? NOTHING. Or if you want, they can have the dirty laundry that's been under my bed for the past eight months.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all she wrote.
DAMN SPELL CHECK! HE! All HE wrote!
The Loveable, Huggable, Oh-So Snuggleable
Ah, my lovely readers. I'm afraid that this is the end of the road. Yes! It's true! This is the last chapter of my story. Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, and being awesome. And I have to say…I'm really, really relieved that it's done. Whoo!
So, this is goodbye…until I come up with another story. And I really hope you all will come back and read the next one!