(Disclaimer: I do not own the Lion King or the Little Mermaid II.)
"Uh, Timon...where are we?" Pumbaa asked as he and Timon walked along a strange and frozen terrain.
"I'm not quite sure, pal. Brrrr! But it sure is cold!" Timon answered, shivering.
They had somehow been transported to an extremely odd and cold place. Everything was either ice or water.
"Do you think the water is safe?" asked Pumbaa as they continued to wonder what was going on.
"Because I thought that we might be able to swim back home."
"Oh, come on Pumbaa! We don't even know where we are or how we even got here!"
Just then Timon noticed an animal jump out of the water not too far from them. It was by far, the strangest thing he and Pumbaa had seen yet. It was black and white with a yellow beak. It was very tiny and waddled slightly.
"Pumbaa," Timon said. "What is that?" He pointed towards the thing, who was now looking back down into the water for something.
"I don't know. It looks kind of like a bird."
"It can't be a bird. It was swimming. Birds don't swim, do they?"
"Well, there's only one way to find out." Then Pumbaa started walking up to the creature.
"No, no no! Pumbaa!" Timon called, but he was too late. All he could do now was follow him up to the weird black-and-white thing.
"Excuse me. Hello." Pumbaa said to it.
Just then the thing noticed that they were there and jumped up and began shouting. "Ah! What the heck? Dash! Dash! Get up here and look at these weirdoes!"
"Hey! We're not weirdoes, you're the weirdo!" Timon yelled at the bird-thing.
It seemed that the bird-thing was about to say something when something huge and gray flopped up out of the water.
"What's up, Tip?" the massive gray thing said to the tiny bird-thing. Just then it noticed Timon and Pumbaa. "Wow! They do look weird!"
"Yeah, real freaks if ya ask me." said the tiny thing who was apparently called "Tip"
Now Timon was about to say something, but that was when Pumbaa began speaking. "We're sorry if we startled you. But we seem to be lost and don't really know where we are."
"Oh, Tip, they're lost. Maybe we can help them!" The big gray animal said.
"Dash, Dash ,Dash. I know ya love helping, we both do. But I think these guys might bebeyondhelp. If ya know what I'm saying." Tip said while he twirled his wing in a circle next to his head making the "crazy" sign.
"Are you calling us crazy?" Timon said to Tip.
"So you're not as dumb as you look, huh?" Tip shot back.
"Why are ya calling us that? My friend is just asking for help!"
"Wanna make something of it, punk?"
Then Timon launched himself at Tip and they both began punching and kicking each other. As they both watched Tip and Timon fight, the other two began talking.
"Well, this seems to be going well. Huh, um... sorry I didn't catch your name." the gray mammal asked Pumbaa.
"Oh I'm Pumbaa. I'm a warthog. And that guy trying to pull your friend's feathers out is my friend Timon, he's a meerkat."
"Hmm, I've never heard of meerkats or warthogs. But anyway, its nice to meet you. My name is Dash. I'm a walrus, and my friend biting your friend is Tip, he's a penguin. But we really like to go by "Titanic Tip and Daring Dash: Adventurers..." then he waited for his friend to finish the sentence.
"Slash...Ow...explorers! Ow! Hey, don't kick me there!" Tip called out before mouthing some inappropriate words to Timon.
Dash and Pumbaa continued to watch Timon and Tip fight for a few minutes before speaking again.
"So, you said you were lost?" Dash asked Pumbaa.
"Yes, and we don't even know how we got here." Pumbaa answered.
"Well, maybe we can help. Where are you from?"
"Oh, I know where that is!"
"You do?" Pumbaa asked, looking quizzically at Dash. "How?"
"We're explorers, don't forget. Africa is due north from here. Well, pretty much everything is." Then he began to laugh, but then noticed that Pumbaa didn't get it.. "But anyway, just head north, then maybe east, and you should get there."
"Great! Thank you! Um...Which way is that?"
Dash thought for a moment. Then it occurred to him that he didn't know either. So he called back over to Tip, where he and Timon were still fighting. "Tip! Tip! Which way is north?"
At this Tip and Timon stopped fighting for a bit and looked over at Dash and Pumbaa. Tip slapped his wing to his face in annoyance. "Its that way, Dash!" He said as he pointed in the direction a little ways left of Pumbaa. He then said under his breath, "Honestly, we've explored pretty much all of the oceans, you'd think he'd be able to tell which way is north by now."
"Yeah, but he's your friend. So, Whadiya gonna do?" Timon said. "You know, he reminds me of someone, just vaguely. And you know what? You do to, a little."
"That's weird. Cuz I was gonna say the same thing about you guys." Tip said. "But wait, we're supposed to be fighting!"
"Oh, right." Timon said. Then they resumed fighting.
They continued fighting for about an hour. Long enough, it seems, for Pumbaa and Dash to build a make-shift boat out of petrified wood, frozen dirt, and gumption. All the while Pumbaa told Dash about his and Timon's life back home.
"Wow." said Dash after Pumbaa had finished. "You guys are friends with lions? Cool, all we've got for friends are mermaids."
"What's a mermaid?" Pumbaa asked. But his question was never answered. Since right after that was when Tip and Timon finally ceased fighting, both sporting cuts, bruises, and hurt egos.
"Look, Timon! Dash and I built a little boat!" Pumbaa said proudly.
"That's great, Pumbaa." Timon said. He then hopped into the boat, obviously ready to go.
"Well," he said to Tip and Dash. "This has been...really weird, and I bet I'm not the only one here who is glad that its almost over."
"If you're ever in Africa, Dash, feel free to come and visit." said Pumbaa.
"And if you're not, feel free to eat Tip there." Timon added as Pumbaa jumped into the boat and they began to sail away.
"Yeah, yeah, you fight like a girl, G'bye!" Tip said. Then, after Timon and Pumbaa had disappeared in the boat he turned to Dash.
"Good riddance. That was, by a wide margin, the weirdest thing that has ever happened to us. Those guys were fa-reaks!"
"Well, I don't think so." said Dash. Then they both dived back into the water to ponder the odd day that had just took place.
(Author's Note: This is just an odd story that I thought of as I was watching the Little Mermaid II. I hadn't watched LMII in a long time and I noticed that Tip and Dash ( for those who haven't seen it, they are Ariel's daughter's friends) seem sort of similar to our favorite meerkat and warthog team. If only a little. Hope you enjoyed it. Writing this was funny, but it came at a price, now I have that song "Titanic Tip and Daring Dash" stuck in my head. ugh)