Just a quick note: This is the very first Veronica Mars related story I've ever written, so please keep that in mind while reading it. It wasn't beataed, even in the slightest so any grammatical errors are my own and I sincerely apologize. It is set during episode 1.15 Ruskie Business and is a missing scene of sorts but with a slight AU-ish feel. Any and all feedback is appreciated.

Characters do not belong to me, but I think that generally goes without saying, and they will be returned to their rightful owners just as soon as I am finished with them.

I Never

Veronica lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She had been in this position for the past 45 minutes willing sleep to finally overtake her. No such luck. She groaned and rolled over onto her stomach, her arms wrapped around the pillow under her head, maybe a change in position will help.

Ten minutes later and she was about to give up on sleep altogether. This day had left her reeling and, truth be told, she still hadn't quite stepped off the roller coaster just yet. Trina had been using Lynn's credit card and hadn't even batted an eyelash at Logan's obvious grief,

Logan. Now there was a complicated subject. When he had knocked on her door the other night she had been confused beyond belief. Had he resorted to home torture these days? When he asked her to help find his mother, she had agreed mainly out of pity and partially out of respect for the friendship they had shared long, long, ago. She had known it wouldn't end well, but even the darkest scenarios hadn't compared to the truth.

Veronica sat straight up in bed when a loud knock interrupted her thoughts. She sat as still as a statue, even if she was in the back of the apartment. She waited, hoping the knocking would subside of its own accord, but again, no such luck. She silently cursed her father for being off chasing bail jumpers when crazy people decided to knock on the door at…what time was it anyway? Glancing at her alarm clock, Veronica let out a low sigh, 2:47 AM.

Gathering her resolve, and taser, she silently made her way to the front door, Backup's growl from somewhere near her feet comforted her. She carefully unlocked the deadbolt, but kept the chain in place. Slowly she opened the door and the knocking stopped abruptly. She stood behind the door and slowly peeked around through the crack and rolled her eyes.

"Ronnie!" Logan's unusually cheerful voice screamed at her from the opening.

Dumbfounded, Veronica closed the door and removed the chain, granting him entrance.

He stumbled slightly on his way through the threshold and slowly let his eyes wander from the floor up Veronica's body, almost as if seeing her clearly for the first time.

Veronica shifted uncomfortable under his gaze and suddenly felt very exposed in her light blue tank top and light and dark blue striped pajama pants. She retrieved a cover from the back of the couch and wrapped it around herself protectively.

Logan seemed to shake himself back to his senses at her actions and a small sad smile played on his lips.

"It's three in the morning Logan, what do you want?" She asked him gently.

"To see my favorite girl" He replied with, was that sincerity?

"That answers my next question" Veronica stated matter-of-factly.

Logan's face scrunched up in confusion, "What next question?"

"If you've been drinking" Veronica replied simply adding, "because we all know that only a drunk Logan would say that I was his 'favorite girl'."

Logan's smile widened as he produced a flask from his pocket. His smile changed somehow in this action, making him look slightly insane. "How about a game for old time's sake?" He asked, uncapping the container as he spoke.

"Logan, no. No games." Veronica replied firmly.

"Oh come on, Ronnie! You used to be fun. What the hell happened to you anyway?" He spat at her.

"You know what happened" She replied quietly.

"I LOST LILLY TOO!" He screamed back.

Backup began growling again at the tone of voice he was directing at Veronica.

"Logan, calm down or you'll have to leave" She stated simply.

His nodded slightly and took a sip of whatever the flask contained.

"I never"

"I said no games" Veronica interrupted loudly.

Logan looked her straight in the eyes, "I never felt safe in my own home" He stated simply.

Veronica took a step back, as if physically hit by the full impact of that statement. She took a deep, steadying breath. Of all the things he could have said, that was the absolute last thing she had expected.

Logan was on the verge of tears however and looked at her expectantly. He held the flask out to her, "Drink".

Those were the rules.

Veronica's mind flashed back to the scene at the hotel, after they had finally learned that Lynn really was dead.

"Dad could have used you there" Logan said desperately to Trina, begging her in effect to share his overwhelming feeling of pain and loss.

Trina let a small laugh escape her lips, "So now you're worried about Dad's welfare? Isn't he the 'big bad wolf'? Cigarette burns and broken noses? She asked him mockingly. Oh the stories you used to tell.

Veronica had removed herself and Logan from the quickly escalating situation as fast as soon as she could. After seeing Logan break down in the lobby not a minute later the full reality of the situation finally hit her.

"Drink," He repeated, again proffering the flask.

This time Veronica complied. She took a drink of the liquid and felt the familiar burn as it made its way down her throat. She turned and set the flask on the counter behind her, and took a tentative step toward Logan.

"I knew you would have to drink" He told her darkly as a single tear finally made its way down his cheek.

She nodded, moving closer to him She gently reached out and took hold of his hand. His entire body tensed at first but soon he relaxed and allowed himself to be lead over to the couch.

Veronica sank into the cushions and pulled him down next to her. He then slowly brought his feet up next to him and stretched out until he lay the length of the couch, with his head in her lap.

"Your Dad loved you" he said quietly, more tears spilling from his eyes. "I, I thought that I could at least count on my mom but," he cut himself of with a sob.

Veronica had been determined not to cry, if only to be strong for Logan. Her heart was breaking for the boy who had made her life a living hell and, finally, some of the cruelty he had shown her over the past year was starting to make sense.

Veronica Woke the next morning tucked into her bed. She looked around the room in confusion wondering how she had gotten there. Shaking the fog out of her head, her eyes focused on a piece of paper folded in half taped to her door.

After retrieving the note she sat back down on her bed before finally allowing herself to read it.


Thanks. For everything.

This note will now self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2…


A small smile crept its way onto Veronica's face. Just maybe this cloud had a silver lining after all.