Warnings: Slash! Major Slash – it's all about Slash. You have been warned, take a long hike off a short peer if you ignore this warning! Animagus. Mpreg (shut up, I like it whether it's biologically possible or not.).
Pairings: Fawkes/Harry, Ron/Herm, Draco/Ginny, Dean/Seamus, Neville/Blaise
Summary: HBP never happened. NEWT Transfiguration Classes now require the in depth study of Animagus forms and due to recent developments there are now easier methods of achieving this form. Harry has problems until a trip to Hagrid's house gives Harry a break through, love and a family.
The class sat fidgeting excitedly on their chairs awaiting Professor McGonagall for their Newt Class. They'd been told last week that today was the day they'd be using a potion to discover their Animagus forms. They'd been studying in depth for two weeks the transformations and the theories and necessary steps to achieving the form and now they were going to discover their forms. Everyone was nervous.
Of course Professor McGonagall had told them that meditation had been used before to help a person find their forms so they had all spent one double lesson on meditation. Only three people managed to find their forms this way and those were Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger and some Ravenclaw Harry couldn't remember the name of. Harry had meditated easily falling into a deep trance as was required but all he seemed to find was black flames licking the entirety of his mind's eye and the occasional flash of bright green.
Today however they were all taking a hallucinogenic potion that allowed one to see their animal forms. This potion had been discovered by a Potions Master called Cedric Stewer over in America, much to Snape's disdain. Of course, with the potion that revealed their animal forms it had been decided that all of them should attempt to change as well today so Madam Pomfrey and two other Medi-Wizards from St Mungos were on hand to correct any major misfortunes that could occur.
"Right class settle down!" McGonagall called as she strolled into the room with a stern expression on her face. The class immediately settled seeing her walk in with the three medics, Snape, and two ministry officials. McGonagall whirled around to face the class when she had reached her desk.
"Thank you. Now, as you all know we are going to be taking the Bestia Aperio potion today in class. Now once you have taken the potion you should fall into a meditative trance for a few short minutes where you shall see the animal you are able to change into. Now, if you don't see an animal there then I am afraid that you have no Animagus form. If this is the case please just wait patiently at your desk for either myself or Professor Snape to come and see you.
"As we have discovered, some people are not always capable of a magical transformation either even if they do have an alternative form. I'm sure I needn't remind you all that the Nicholas Flamel was a powerful man and yet he was not able to change into his form, that of a white Horse. It all varies and it does not make you less powerful in your magic should you not have this capability.
"Now, row by row I would like you to come forward and take a vial each. Once everyone has a vial I shall signal for you to start." The professor signalled the front left row to collect their vials first then worked her way row by row around the room from front to back. Once everyone had their vials McGonagall smiled.
"Don't forget that after you come out of your trance you are to write down all the details you can remember from what you have seen. Once you are finished with your notes please wait patiently for others to finish. In your own time then class you may drink."
Harry watched as everyone around the class took their potions quickly but nervously. Harry looked at his own shimmering purple potion and scrunched up his nose. Uncorking it he raised it to his lips. Closing his eyes he tipped his head back and downed the content of the small glass vial. Placing the vial quickly on the desk Harry closed his eyes as he felt a tingle run through his body before a lightness followed. The lightness trailed all over his limbs then to his mind and Harry felt himself fall into a trance and something tug on his magic.
In his minds eye Harry saw everything flicker and wobble. He was in a garden of sorts but the garden was obscured by the air that made it look like Harry was looking at the garden through water. The watery feel to the image was then replaced by small black flames that grew and grew on his image until all Harry could see were these great black flames that occasionally shone bright green like the green of the Killing Curse. Harry gasped as there was another flash of bright green and the flames became wilder.
The feeling of lightness faded and Harry felt feeling return to him as well as conscious thought. His eyes opened and he found before his eyes those same black flames in front of the classroom with all the people in it. Slowly the flames started to disappear as if fading into the background. Harry blinked a few times and shook his head clearing the image away completely.
"Get writing Mr Potter." Mcgonagall said from next to Harry. Harry turned his head and met her eyes. Swallowing Harry gave her a weak smile.
"I-I didn't see anything professor. Just black flames." Harry received a sympathetic smile and a reassurance that it was no reflection on him that he had no alternative form. Harry nodded and slouched in his seat. Harry was sorely disappointed, he'd felt sure he had an alternative form. He was the most powerful wizard of their time having defeated Voldemorta year and half a year ago at Christmas. Harry even supassed Dumbledore now with his magical strength. He was the most powerful person in the world. He hated all the attention he got for it, trying his best to hide in the shadows, but he didn't deny it to himself that he was powerful and he should be capable of this. He wasn't always the most skilled wizard, spell wise Harry wasn't very good at all, but Harry could put a lot of power into one spell and had even managed only magic that relied on will power alone with and without a wand.
Class ended and Harry walked out with Ron and Hermione both of which were chattering on and on about their forms. Both of them had found their animals and had been told to practise changing in groups with one person not changing so aid could be called in in case there were problems. Harry gritted his teeth.
"I can't believe I'm a tiger! I mean how amazing is that? A tiger! I mean that's close to a lion and a griffin is half a lion! It's bloody brilliant!"
"I know, it must be your bravery coming through and your skills in the hunt." Hermione giggled referring to how last year Ron had hunted down every boy who'd even glanced at Hermione to back off or there would be trouble and the two had gotten together only a few months later Ron having chased all the other suitors away. Harry thought it was sweet and endearing sometimes how they acted together but other times, like when they flirted constantly, Harry found himself wanting to gag and having to go out of the room to avoid a headache or sickness.
"And you are an Owl! A Wise Owl at that! I would have been amazed had you been anything else, you are just so wise your animal suits you. Hermione the Wise!"
"Oh Ron stop it." Hermione grinned kissing her boyfriend on the cheek before noticing Harry who was scowling as he walked. She gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry Harry. But it's like Professor McGonagall said not everyone has a form not even the most powerful wizards do. I don't even think Dumbledore has an animal form. This isn't a reflection of your power Harry, you are brilliant, it's just not everyone could do it."
"I just felt like I failed Dad, you know? I mean he was a Stag, Sirius a Dog! I mean even bloody Pettigrew had an animal form and only I haven't. I mean I was the forth person out of thirty people who couldn't manage it in that class Hermione and the others were Parkinson, and two Hufflepuffs!"
"Harry, it's not about you! Everyone is different. I mean, perhaps you are just so powerful that you can protect, defend and escape without having to use an alternative form! Think about Toby Animus's theory that those with no form are not in need of one due to magical supremacy."
"I thought we agreed in class that that theory was a load of bull!" Ron put in earning a glare from Hermione. Harry just sighed.
"It's fine Hermione, I understand and yeah that makes me feel better. I just wish I had one, you know?"
"Yeah well, que sera eh?" Harry smiled weakly at her whilst Ron frowned in confusion.
"Anyway, now mate you can help us change. All the Gryffindors agreed to practise together." Harry paused for a few brief seconds that went unnoticed by his best friends before giving a reassuring but fake smile.
That night all the Seventh Year Gryffindors were gathered together in the boys dorm, Ron and Hermione having moved all the beds sideways against the walls to create more space at the centre of the room. Everyone sat down in a circle. Since they'd all used the potion in class to change themselves once they now had to practise changing without potion aid.
Half the group tried first and everyone waited for their turns to come around. By the end of the hour Harry had called Madam Pomfrey only once and that was for Neville who'd turned his left hand into a sheeps foot. Harry was often left wondering how Neville made it into Transfiguration anyway since most of his cup transfigurations weren't complete anyway. Harry theoriest Neville must just have a lot of luck come test time despite him being a bundle of nerves.
Two hours into it Harry was completely bored. Everyone around him were still practising and were both excited about their near completions and frustrated about it. Harry gritted his teeth. He felt like they were all rubbing it in about them having a form and Harry not having one. Harry huffed and stood up brushing himself down. He was angry and felt for sure there was a storm cloud over his head.
"I'm going for a walk." Harry then turned and stormed out of the dorm and into the common room. He didn't care for the stares he got as he stomped out of Gryffindor Tower and out of the enterance Hall. He decided to visit Hagrid since he knew Hagrid wouldn't mind the company and he days were still light since it was mid autumn and it got dark around 8 in the evening. It being only 6 Harry had plenty of time.
"Hi Hagrid! What you doing?" Harry called as he approached Hagrid's hut. Hagrid was throwing dried fallen leaves onto a large bonfire.
"Oh Hello there Harry! Come an' give us a 'and then!" Harry grinned thankful for the work that would take his mind of transfiguration.
Hagrid and Harry talked for ages whilst they threw leaves and wood onto the raging bonfire. Their pile of leaves didn't take long to get rid of though Harry suspected that it took Hagrid a lot of time to collect. Finally, after half an hour of throwing stuff onto the fire they both sat down with Hagrid pulling out some marshmallows and long sticks. They ate happily talking about random topics like Hagrid's latest animals for care of magical creatures and how Olympe was over in France. Hagrid confessed he was leaving Hogwarts at the end of the year to go work at Beauxbatons with Oympe so they could get married and Harry had happily accepted the wedding invitation.
After an hour by the fire Hagrid stood and told Harry that he still had quite a bit of work to do before bed. Harry had offered to help but Hagrid declined saying Harry probably wouldn't enjoy it and besides someone needed to watch the fire and make sure it was under control.
Harry sat back down by the fire occasionally roasting another marhmellow on it. After he'd eaten the entire packet Harry realised he'd missed Dinner, as had Hagrid. Harry shrugged and leaned back supporting himself on his arms as he stared into the fire.
He watched as the flames moved this way and that. They looked so graceful and powerful in their movements. They swayed with the wind, occasionally fighting against the very gently breeze and other times giving in to it. The flames were roaring and consuming and Harry's thoughts drifted to the representation of Fire as an element and how Fire was considered both a destroyer and a creator. Fire represented the rebirth of things, the chance to destroy the old to create the new.
'Hm I wonder if Fawkes has burning days often or not...' Harry wondered only to suddenly feel a strange electrifying sensation zing down his spine. Harry frowned wondering what that was and went back to looking at the fire. 'It's so beautiful.'
The flames danced over the wood. They seemed to lick the wood, almost like a lover's caress, whilst changing in colour from golden oranges to reds to yellows again. At the centre of the fire Harry could see it was white with the barest hint of blue showing how hot it was. The flames reached for the sky and gave of such a wonderful, loving heat.
Harry's thoughts strayed to the black and green fire he saw in his self induced visions. The black fire was a lot like the burning fire before him. Harry closed his eyes and leaned back picturing the fire.
It was so dark and graceful as is burned, just like the fire before Harry. The black flames gave way to sudden bright flashes of emerald green and the bright green of the killing curse. The sudden changes in colour was brilliant and awe inspiring. It seemed to literally hum with power and strength whilst the the black made it seem smaller in size. It was so wild yet so graceful. Harry's earlier thoughts came back to him. 'It's so beautiful'.
The power from the fire called out to Harry even though it was only an image he had. Harry unconsciously reached out towards the fire. The power was so overwhelming and yet it felt so natural even in its wild and untameable state. Harry reached out, just a bit further. 'Just a bit further, just a little more.' That grace, that power, that loving warmth
Suddenly a very hot sensation started in his chest and spread over his body. It was so hot yet it wasn't painful at all. It spread quickly and became hotter and hotter. Harry felt a shiver seep down his spine then the shiver changed and Harry could literally feel his magic coursing through his veins starting from his heart. With every pump of Harry's heart magic was pushed through his veins. Down every artery, every capillary vein. It went everywhere. Harry's cells seemed to buzz with magic whilst the overwhelming heat embraced him.
An uncomfortable feeling in his back made Harry come back to reality and open his eyes. He rolled his shoulders hoping to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling and felt a rapid improvement. Harry went to stand up only to find it rather painful to put his hands on the floor to help push him up. Harry also noticed that his legs weren't bending how he wanted them to. Looking down Harry gave a loud cry of shock.
The cry, however, came out as a distressed high pitched trill. Harry gave another cry of shock at the noise he'd made. With wide panicky eyes Harry looked down at himself again to try and understand what was going on.
Straight beneath him Harry could see a feathery chest with black shiny feathers that shone bright green when the light caught them as Harry's chest moved out and in as he breathed. Where Harry's arms would have been Harry saw two large wings that seemed to stretched on forever out in front of him. Since Harry couldn't see his feet he assumed they would be bird feet too.
Taking steadying breaths Harry found himself mentally trying to calm himself down. After a few long seconds of breathing deeply Harry tried to move his strange body to stand up. Stretching his legs beneath him Harry was shocked to feel it felt to his mind that he was working his leg muscles. Once stood Harry gave a jump only to fall forwards. Crying in alarm Harry closed his eyes tightly shut waiting for the impact against the ground. It came and Harry gave a dejected murmur that came out as a wobbling low note.
Trying again Harry stood and slowly tested his legs by bobbing up and down for a few moments. Getting the hang of that and managing to keep his balance Harry tried for a small jump again and this time managed it after wobbling for a few split seconds to try and find his balance again. Over and over again Harry tried finally succeeding to keep his balance.
Harry then tried to put one foot in front of the other and stepped forwards. He felt his balance go and with some worried trills managed to correct himself and take another step forwards. He slowly walked around giving happy cheeps as he managed it successfully without falling. Looking over his shoulder Harry saw the fire was dying down anyway and wasn't going to risk much now. Still, Harry said he would wait with the fire and he wasn't going to disappoint Hagrid as much as he really wanted to get over to the lake that was on the horizon so he could take a look at himself.
Slowly the fire died out though it did take a long time. Harry, in this time, found he could imitate the black bird next to him with how it hopped to move around faster. Harry found this really worked his muscles. Harry then decided he'd try using his wings, after all he might as well try since they were there and this was obviously his animagus form. Harry had stretched his wings out wide and moved them up and down slowly. He found that with the smallest, slowest movement of his wings he could cause lots of wind and Harry played with this for a while enjoying how he affected the fire.
Harry had then lifted from the ground by aiming the base of his wings towards the floor and flapping. It was an exhilarating feeling and Harry immediately felt some instincts kick in. It was as if he was natural at flying with wings as he was without. Harry spent an hour soaring around, dive bombing and Wronski feinting in his bird form. He found it to be the best experience of his life and was happily singing away though he didn't know he was.
When the fire was out completely and Hagrid still hadn't returned Harry decided he'd sly over to the lake. Once there Harry nearly fell out of the air at his own reflection.
He had been hovering, having mastered that unbelievably quickly, only about 6foot from the water. Below him was his reflection showing him the most beautiful bird he'd ever seen. He saw he was bigger than a raven, but only a little bigger. He was a lot smaller than Fawkes though. He had a small body that, at the chest, had slightly fluffier, but still silky, black feathers that weren't that big. His wings were about ten times the length of the width of his body. They spanned a meter each side easily if not a little more. His tail seemed to be about half a meter if three quarters of a meter behind him.
He had a narrow neck that wasn't too long but on top of Harry's head he had about four or five narrow feathers sticking up. His feathers, all of them, were the darkest black that Harry was sure he'd blend into the night sky had there been no stars. The only problem with blending was the strange glint his feathers had when they caught the light. As he flapped his wings the light bounced off his black feathers showing bright green sheens to them. The green was so bright that they matched the green of the Killing Curse but the brilliant green didn't show up unless the light caught them.
Harry caught his balance in the air again to stop himself from crashing straight into the water below him. Shakily, and with several distressed trills Harry flew back to the ground landing with a little difficulty but managing it without falling down. Taking several calming breaths Harry shut his eyes and tried to calm his racing heart down.
'I need to change back. Hell, I don't even know what kind of bird I am!' Harry squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to change back into his human form. After a few moments Harry choked out a sob which emerged from his yellowy gold beak as a loud high pitched cry that filled the nights sky followed by a choked 'chap' noise like the normal 'cheep' Harry would have made couldn't be made properly.
Harry wrapped his wings around himself as he would have with arms only to discover they didn't want to do that so he folded them back. Twin crystal green tears fell from his eyes and to the ground where they burned through the grass and burned through the ground like acid.
'Why is this beautiful crying?' Harry lifted his head and looked to his left where he saw a bright orange and red bird.
'Fawkes?' Harry chirped quietly having recognised the bird before him. Fawkes gave a happy affirmative trill that managed to calm Harry down a little bit. Fawkes then turned and met Harry's bright emerald eyes with his black ones.
'How is it you know my name my beautiful?'
'Beautiful?' Harry asked quietly with a frown noticeable in his question. 'I'm not beautiful.'
'Yes you are. So very beautiful.' Fawkes cooed stepping forwards slowly as if afraid fast movements would scare Harry off. Harry eyed Fawkes questioningly.
'Fawkes? I'm Harry…Harry Potter.' From Harry's beak fell a few uncertain low trills. 'You know me Fawkes, you saved me from the Basilisk do you remember? I somehow changed into this bird by accident and now I can't get back!'
'Ah, I see. I believe my Friend was talking about you before with the Cat-Witch. The wizards call you Savior. Well, I shall call you Beautiful.' Fawkes was really close now and leaned forwards. Harry tensed at the closeness of the other bird and felt himself prepare to get away when a beak nestled against the side of his neck. Harry froze as the beak moved around before feeling like he was melting. Just then Fawkes pulled away with feather in his beak.
'T-that's mine.' Harry said but felt something felt a little nicer where Fawkes had just been nestled.
'I know beautiful. It was out of place, surely it was uncomfortable.' Harry cocked his head to one side considering.
'I hadn't noticed.' Fawkes gave a loud trill that Harry assumed was laughter. Harry didn't know whether to be affronted or to laugh with him. Harry settled for worried as his thoughts drifted back into his current predicament. 'Fawkes, I need to change back but I don't know how! I need to become ME again!'
'Why does my beautiful want to leave?' Harry was confused and cocked his head over to the other side. Fawkes flapped out his wings showing how much bigger than Harry he was. Harry rustled his wings slightly.
'Fawkes! Please help me! I need to go back to my dorm with my friends!'
'I can not help you my beautiful. I am not a wizard. I can only suggest you retrace your steps, my Friend finds that most helpful. Try it my beautiful.'
'Would you stop calling me that? I'm a boy, I'm Harry! I'm not beautiful.' Fawkes made an affronted noise.
'My Harry, my Harry, you are so beautiful. The most beautiful I have seen in all my centuries.' Harry looked sceptical but chose not to comment. Fawkes gave a trill again one that sounded rather forceful and stretched his wings out touching Harry with them. Harry felt his body heat and Fawkes shook his head and trilled a loud excited trill. Harry didn't know what Fawkes had just achieved to make him trill with victory and excitement but Harry had other things to worry about.
'Is it Dumbledore you call Friend?'
'That he is, my Friend, and you are my Beautiful.' Harry was startled by that comment but shook his head in disdain.
'I'll try retracing my steps then. Thank you Fawkes.' Fawkes trilled loudly again in happiness and stepped closer nuzzling Harry's neck making Harry subconsciously coo softly. Fawkes pulled away.
'Any time my Beautiful.' Harry closed his eyes but o sooner had he done so did Fawkes speak again. 'Just promise me something my Beautiful.'
'You shall not stay away long and I can visit you.'
'Okay then.' Harry affirmed though slightly hesitantly. Fawkes cooed happily.
'Then my Beautiful, I shall see you tomorrow. Goodnight my Phoenix Beautiful.'
'Night Fawkes.' Harry sighed as Fawkes inclined his head. Harry shut his eyes and tried to picture the black fire from earlier. He found himself slowly fall deeper into a trance then faintly heard a melodious tune. Harry felt his heart rate increase and his magic pulse once again. The music seemed to awaken his magic and Harry found a picture of himself in his mind's eye. Harry reached out towards the human image and found his magic rushing through his veins as he drew closer. Finally he reached the remaining millimetres and as he did so tremendous cold hit his body as if his body had just been plunged into freezing cold water.
Harry gasped at the sensation and breathed quickly feeling his chest constrict his breath. He felt like he was drowning and just as he broke the surface Harry gasped and the sensation receded. Harry looked down at himself with wide alarmed green eyes. Holding his hands before him he saw they were human hands again. His clothes weren't wet either though Harry was cold, he really missed the warmth he had before.
"Fawkes?" Fawkes trilled happily and flew onto Harry's shoulder his beak rummaging around in Harry's hair. "H-hey! What're you doing?"
'Preening you my Beautiful.' Harry jumped at the calm voice in his head that seemed to appear at the same time Fawkes started to chirp gently. Harry figured this probably meant he was able to understand Fawkes now since he was a bird before and birds talked to each other all the time.
"Why do you keep calling me beautiful? I'm a boy, I can only be handsome if anything!"
'My Beautiful, you are handsome too. Now, be still so I can preen you.' Harry pouted.
"But I have to go to the common room! I want to tell the others I have an animagus." What ever Harry was expecting it wasn't a nip on the ear and a loud trill that seemed angry.
'Don't tell them my Beautiful, it would not be welcome news and they wouldn't believe you anyway. Trust me Beautiful. Keep this secret for a while. Promise me.' Harry felt anger spike up through him. Fawkes shouldn't be telling him what to do, Fawkes shouldn't demand things of him. His anger flared and unknowingly to him wild black flames flickered on his skin. Fawkes gave a high pitch trilled.
'Be still Beautiful. I only wish to protect you. Some things are best kept secret for a time, even from those we call Friend. Be still, I am not ordering you.' Fawkes delivered another, but more gentle, nip to Harry's ear lobe and Harry felt his anger seep away. He sighed and hung his head, allowing Fawkes easier access to the back of his hair.
"Very well. But just because I can speak to you doesn't mean you can boss me about."
'I'd never do that Beautiful. You have a temper.' Harry lifted his head up and turned to look Fawkes in the eye.
"You better believe it!" Fawkes gave a few happy trills once more and Harry found his ear being affectionately nipped. Harry unknowingly gave a few high frequency trills of appreciation from that. Harry then carefully stood up making sure Fawkes was okay on his shoulder. The phoenix was still preening Harry's hair. Looking down at the ground Harry saw the shiny black feather Fawkes had pulled off of him. There wasn't anything wrong with it, it had just been in an awkward position and since it was Quill length Harry decided he'd see if HAgrid could whittle him a new quill. Harry, rather than disturb Fawkes on his shoulder by bending down, summoned the feather to his hand before making to go to the castle.
"So what, are you going to stay with me Fawkes?"
'Perhaps I'll come visit you but I couldn't stay all the time. I'm to go back with Friend but I shall see you soon my Beautiful.'
"Okay. You going now?"
'Trying to get rid of me Beautiful Harry?' Fawkes asked cocking his head to one side when Harry looked at him. Harry gave him a smile.
"No, not really I guess. I think I'm gonna go to bed, I'm knackered." Fawkes gave a few musical trills before gently tugging on Harry's ear lobe and flying off. Harry watched as the fiery red bird flew around a castle tower and out of site before Harry started walking inside once again.
There ya go. I'm so sorry about my other stories. I've had no ideas for them at present and I've been really busy recently (hen nights, Summer Sports Camp, jet lag, illness). So here is one of a few stories that I've started so you can be entertained whilst I write more of what ever my muse wants me to write. K?
Oh, and thanks to everyone and anyone who read and reviewed my other stories.