Author's Note: This is not written by the author of all the other fanfics on this account, but by her counterpart who usually proofreads and edits the documents and has decided to step out of her seclusion to put this selection up. I am also sorry for the extremely short length of the introduction, and assure you that further chapters will tend to be much longer. Without further ado, here is the fanfic for your reading pleasure.

The Art of Raising Children for the Dark Lord' s Service

By Bellatrix Black-Lestrange


The art of raising children is a despicable one, and I would rather not have anything to do with children, as they are putrid little runts unfit for doing anything right. However, in order to fully commit myself to the Dark Lord's service, I realized that I must continue my legacy so I may indirectly serve him after I have passed on. This, unfortunately, meant having children and raising them. I have written this book in order to bypass having to do that, and also so that you, too, may know how to raise the little nothings to the level of evilness and devotion my lord commands if you so desire for whatever moronic reason.

This book will provide a clever guide, covering how to incorporate the Dark Arts in your little sack of potatoes's life from the very beginning, to their toddler age where they can do nothing, say nothing of any importance, but still able to scream until you stupefy them, to their adolescent years where you will be able to harness their awkward age to your benefit, all the way to their teenage years, where they will either become most truly devoted if you have raised them right, or terribly rebellious, probably joining forces with Muggles and all sorts of hideous breeds unfit to wash my house-elf's tea cozy.

I will also be advising you on not only how to raise your child effectively in the Dark Arts, but also how to mold them into a perfect example of a Death Eater and Dark Lord supporter. Who knows; with careful planning and rearing on your part, they might even make it into his inner circle, and wouldn't that be a source of pride for you!

It will do well for you to note right at the beginning the obvious: if you dare associate with Mudbloods, Muggles, or blood traitors, you are heavily advised to sever all ties with them immediately, as they may provide the wrong type of influence you would want on your little maggoty-breathed tyke, easily turning all your precious years and efforts of Dark Arts training to waste. If you cannot bear to lose these people I am disgusted to think you would call friends, I suggest you stop spreading your filth onto my precious guidebook and give it to someone more deserving.

If you think raising a child for the Dark Lord will be easy, you should also think twice, as it is a life-long effort, though as I know from experience with my sister you will be greatly rewarded, not to mention having someone you can finally call related to you in some way redeeming themselves from being scum of the earth to a faithful supporter of the Dark Lord. If all turns out well you should have much pride in yourself and will be well respected in your Death Eater community as a given. However, do take note that if your offspring turns out even the slightest bit less than satisfactory you would do well to start running for cover.

As a final note, I would like to dedicate this book to my husband Rodolphus, who also shares my hatred of children, my sister Narcissa and her husband Lucius, who decided to bear a now-wonderful young man who has been devotedly given to the Dark Lord's service, and, of course, The Dark Lord himself.