AN: I just have to let you guys know, I am really NOT in the mood for writing. But I thought, a small continuation of the earlier oneshots wouldn't hurt right? Well, If it's bad its not my fault. I have state exams. Consideration. Haha. Now where were we?
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Learning is Fun: The Answer (Part III)
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Taking her hand rather vigorously, he practically dragged Rukia out of his bedroom.
"Ichigo, what the hell are you doing?" came the familiar voice of Rukia as she flew down the stairs behind him.
"Just hurry up and come," he mumbled, and pulled her out the door.
In his haste, he had forgotten that there was other people occupying his house, namely his two sisters and his father – they had been sitting together at the dinner table and now were looking completely confused.
Did Ichigo just run through the house, with a girl? And holding her hand? And saying, "Just hurry up and come?"
Even though Karin and Yuzu were young, they weren't that young. Unbeknownst to Ichigo, Isshin had already given each of his daughters a special edition of
What Girls Should Know About Sex
The special edition had a glossary of modern terms that were used by teenagers relating to sex. Unfortunately, both of the girls had read parts of the book before.
Karin, of course, had hung around boys long enough to know what that term had meant, but Yuzu wasn't as privileged. But she knew she had heard that term somewhere. She fished around in her pockets to find the book (the special edition came with a pocket-sized booklet'), and she scanned through it.
"Ah!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Do you know what Ichigo was talking about when he ran out the door with that girl?" she asked her father and sister, at which both shook their heads vigorously. There was no need to taint her pure mind. Or so they thought.
"I didn't either!" Yuzu continued happily. "But this book you gave me dad, says what it means here – slang for excretion –"
Her eyes became rather large.
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"Why are we at the pharmacy?" Rukia asked innocently.
"I'm just going to buy the damn thing, ok?" Ichigo replied, his face heating up. Why didn't she just give up? Why didn't he just give up on trying to explain this whole condom thing to her? Good idea.
"Actually, I'm not going to. I'm going home."
Rukia's mouth formed in a small pout. "But why?" she whined, grabbing onto Ichigo's arm. There was something about this girl – when she wanted something, it was like she transformed into a 7-year-old child.
"Just…It's just not right," he said, and it wasn't right. What could be right about him buying a condom with Rukia. He shook her arm off his, just in case he fall into the temptations of her sweet, luscious porcelain body…well, at least they would have a condom – NO! He should not be thinking those things.
He stalked off angrily, muttering to himself, "…not be thinking those things, I should not be thinking those –"
His mantra was cut off by Rukia, who called out to him rather loudly. "Fine! I'll just ask Keigo!"
That stopped him dead in his tracks. That would not be good. That would not be good at all. He rushed back to her side, but to his dismay, his flirtatious (and highly unsuccessful) classmate had appeared out of nowhere.
"Ask me what, dearest Rukia-chan?"
Ichigo could see almost see fine sparkling dust particles fall in slow motion around his female classmate.
"Well, you see, Ichigo and I are just out to buy some condoms…" she trailed off as she started to browse through the items on the shelf next to her. With her visuals distracted she didn't see Keigo gasping for breath, and Ichigo, who was struggling to keep his sanity (and his balance).
"…but then for some reason he didn't want to do it…" Still intent on browsing the shelf, she failed to see Keigo fall on the floor, and Ichigo leaning heavily against another shelf.
"…and I didn't see what was wrong with it…"
Keigo was out cold.
"Oh! Look! I found some condoms, Ichigo!"
Keigo's body was now spasmodically twitching on the floor, and Rukia's endearing proclamation had attracted the entire population of the store.
His face burned as he heard the remarks made by some of the people nearby. They were varied in length and composition, but all were embarrassing in the same way.
"Youngsters these days," one old lady said, shaking her head. And her husband next to her sagely nodded.
Then some random guy: "Hoo boy! Get it on!"
A group of school girls who were standing in the beauty section of the shop were also whispering loudly amongst themselves.
But perhaps the most embarrassing one was when everyone had quietened down. The question was asked by a little girl, as she tugged on her mother's skirt.
"Mummy, what's a condom?"
That sent the whole store into hysterics.
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Though his legs were shaking, he took advantage of the fact Keigo was knocked out and that the whole of the store was currently in 'laugh-mode'. He grabbed the packet Rukia was still holding, grabbed her hand, and ran towards the counter, noting gratefully that there was no line.
Because he was trying to hide his face from everyone else in the shop, he didn't look at the attendant when he put the packet on the counter. In his embarrassed state he didn't even notice that the attendant hadn't moved to pick up the packet.
Rukia clapped her hands. "Ichigo! You should have told me that Orihime worked here!"
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AN: Ahahah. I feel sorry for Ichigo. Ouch. What a terrible position to be in. Reviews would be appreciated.