One Heck of a Ride
Summery: This is a spoof on the 'I am your father' scene in ESB.
Luke crawled away from the imposing figure of Darth Vader. When the Dark Lord spoke, he made a chill go through Luke's spine.
"Luke, you do not yet realize your importance, you have only just begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy."
By now, Luke had made his way to the end of the gantry, and was holding on with the only hand he had left.
"Not buying that!" Luke said, a-matter-of-factly.
"If you only knew the power of the Dark Side! Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."
"You wanna bet?"
"Luke, I am your father."
Luke simply stared strait at Vader, uninterested. In fact, he seemed rather……….board.
"Tell me something I don't know."
Vader lost his composure for a second.
"You mean, you knew?"
"How did you know?"
"Obi-Wan told me. You don't think I lost on accident did you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that if you weren't my father, I'd have already killed you by now."
Vader cocked his head to one side in consideration. Luke was getting exasperated.
"Dude! I was going easy on you! I'm much younger than you, in case you haven't noticed, and I didn't want to give myself an unfair advantage. I played it cool, and what thanks do I get? You chop off my hand! And now you are asking me to join you. Oh, the stupidity of it all!"
Vader began getting desperate. There had to be some way to get Luke to come to his side.
"Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny!"
"Uh-ah! Don't you try to get me to follow my destiny, when you haven't followed yours!"
"What would you know of my destiny, son?"
"Now wait one minute! Just because you're my father, doesn't give you the privilege to call me son! In order to call me son, you have to be on the good side."
"I can call you whatever I want, son!"
"Stop saying that!"
"You started it!"
"I did not, you old bantha!"
"Don't you dare insult me like that, young man, you're grounded!"
"You can't ground me!"
"I can too!"
"Not if I'm not around!"
"Come with me, Luke. It is the only way!"
"No, I can see a way down. Next time!"
With that, Luke jumped, and as he planed, he was sucked into a wind pipe. It was more like a slide than anything else. Once Luke had stopped sliding, which was quite a thrill for him, Luke stood up."
"That was one heck of a ride!"