"You will rue the day you met me, stink face!" Zim yelled across the field to where Dib was standing, battle ready. "RUE!"

"Ha!" Dib screamed back, brandishing his own weapon haphazardly at the Irken. "I rue NOTHING space boy! Quite the contrary actually, I was excited when you came! Because it means that the pleasure of being your defeater will be mine!"

Zim skidded to a halt on the field and leveled his own laser weapon at the boy. "Your enormously large head could not even IMAGINE the idea of my defeat, for I am so incredibly great."

Dib lowered his weapon, looking slightly annoyed. "Yes it can. Any my head's not big!" he yelled at Zim.

"Yes it is!" Zim yelled back.

"No it's not!" Dib retorted hotly, bringing up his weapon once again.

"Yes it is!" Zim taunted, baiting Dib rather then actually go after him with his ready weapon.

"No it's not!" Dib growled, taking the bait knowingly. He could just as easily shoot Zim with his invented gun, but to him, annoying Zim always had more appeal to him then actually exchanging blows.

"Yes it is!" Zim paused for a split second before adding, "times infinity!"

"Curses!" Dib growled as Zim used the age-old argument killer.

Zim pumped his fists triumphantly into the air. "Victory for ZIM!" he yelled.


Zim strode into his house haughtily and allowed Gir and Minimoose to bask in his victorious glory. His robots turned slowly away from the television to look at Zim briefly before turning back to the slow.

Zim cleared his throat in an obvious vie for attention. Gir and Minimoose did not so much as flinch as Zim crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. Both robots remained entranced with the 'Scary Monkey Show' and did not turn to their master until the end credits began to play. As soon as the show was very much done, both Gir and Minimoose ran at Zim and knocked the poor alien over in a sign of badly placed affection.

"Hey master!" Gir yelled cheerfully in an obnoxious voice. "How wazzit?"

"About time you noticed my AWESOMENESS!" Zim told his silly robots. "That filthy show rots your mind."

Gir cocked his head to the side and blinked his large eyes slowly. "What mind?" he asked in all seriousness.

Zim sighed and shook his head slowly in obvious exasperation. "Never mind," he said dully.

Minimoose floated by Zim's head while the other overly eager robot kept the now grumpy Zim pinned to the ground. The purple moose squeaked once, as if making conversation.

Zim glowed and picked himself up off the ground, pushing Gir off himself in the process. "Why yes," he replied to Minimoose while shoving Gir to the ground. "I did have a very good day. I won an argument against the filthy worm child for the first time this week!" he announced.

Minimoose squeaked in reply to Zim and the Irken narrowed an eye as he squeaked again.

Zim airily waved him off with a swipe of his hand. "Yes, I'm fully aware that it is Friday. Don't let such trivial matters get in the way of my AWESOMELY…AWESOME and AMAZING victory!"

Minimoose squeaked his consent and followed Zim and Gir as they walked to the garbage can. Gir held the lid up as Zim jumped inside and together the two robots canonballed in to follow Zim. Zim yelled at them about jumping on top of him and the respect he deserved as they disappeared into the depths of the base.

"Ooo…" Gir said finally. "Did ya meet the big headed kid?" Gir asked excitedly as they walked through the halls.

Zim nodded, obviously pleased with the day's outcome. "Yes, yes I did. We had an EXTRAORDINARY confrontation of DOOM!" he announced in an exaggerated manner as he held his hands at chest level with the palms up. His fingers were curved in a claw like way as he laughed, giving him an absurdly creepy look.

"Awww, that's nice master," Gir cooed. "Did ya fight or argue?"

Zim paused and shrugged nonchalantly. "We just argued. I need an amazing doom weapon of terror and doom before I try and destroy him. Which I will do, some day. Oh yes," Zim smirked as he tapped the tips of his fingers together. "Someday."

Gir nodded sagely. "I know, master," he told Zim. Then he jumped in the air and waved his limbs haphazardly. "Now what!"

"I was thinking we could go and…" Zim started before he was interrupted by Tallest Red's face appearing on the screen. "My Tallest!" Zim gasped, obviously pleased that his good day was now becoming even better.

Tallest Red winced at Zim's grating greeting but quickly regained his composure. "Zim! We wish for you to return to Irk!" he told the small alien.

Zim faltered for a split second before nodding and inclining his head respectfully. "Yes, my tallest. However my journey will take awhile. Earth is quite the distance from the ALMIGHTY planet Irk."

Tallest Red and Purple exchanged glances and made a silent agreement. "We just want you here," Red said quickly. "No need to bring any equipment."

Zim raised an 'eyebrow' in obvious confusion. "Are you sure?" he asked. "My Voot and information files have data that can be used to finally CONQUER this pathhhhhhhhhe-TIC planet of dirt and filth!"

"It's all right soldier," Red told him. Behind Red, Purple nodded fervently. "Just take a long distance matter transporter and come as you are."

Zim looked slightly put out, but did his best to keep his strong image in front of the Tallest. "Wouldn't that be…" Zim paused. He took in a small breath and waved his hand around in a small circular motion as if physically searching for the right word. "Um, painful?" he asked.

Red and Purple looked at one another and grinned. "Oh yes," Purple said matter-of-factly. "Quite."

Red nodded his agreement. "But! We need to talk to you right away, because this is very important."

Zim looked excited. "Ooooh, really? Does it have to do with my mission?" he asked, clapping his hands lightly.

Red and Purple both nodded. "Yeah, sure, whatever," Purple assured Zim, rather awkwardly.

"Just come here! Red sighed at Zim in exasperation. "Use the matter transporter and get here, now!"

Zim nodded, resolute. "Yes, my Tallest!" he told his leaders and gave them a salute before the screen went blank.

"Think he'll do the transport?" Purple asked.

"Probably," Red replied. "He's completely loyal. He won't disobey a direct order from us," he scoffed as if the idea of an Irken disobeying them was preposterous.

"Think he'll die in the transport?" Purple asked excitedly.

"Only if were lucky," Red muttered, obviously annoyed. "But he probably won't be."

"Darn," Purple pouted to his familiar.

"Don't worry, we'll finish the job," Red reassured the co-leader. "Zim will not get out of being deactivated this time."

Purple threw his hands into the air and cheered like a five year old. "Yay!"


The matter transporter glowed a bright purple as Zim's form materialized inside. As the dangerous energy beam melted away, the tiny Irken fell to his knees while smoke came off his skin in billows. He took in deep breaths and shook his head in order to get his wits about himself.

Red and Purple stood by the transporter, looking quite ecstatic at the sight of Zim in pain. "Hello, Zim," Red cooed.

Zim stood up twitching, but looking quite happy, regardless of the pain. He gave the Tallest a quick salute with his hand and winced only once while doing so. "H-hello, my Tallest. I, the almighty Invader Zim, am here are your request."

"So you are," Red replied in a tone usually reserved for talking to five year olds. He then turned his back on Zim and after watching this; Purple opted to mimic him for delayed dramatic effect. "Follow us," Red said slowly, hiding his happy grin from the clueless Zim.

Zim felt a small sense of foreboding, but he quickly shook off his uneasiness for the comfort of his own ego and ran to catch up with his leaders.

Red led him into a large empty room where half of the equipment was shrouded in shadow. Zim looked around and tapped his fingers together. "What is this, my Tallest?" Zim finally asked.

Red nodded to Purple and led the dimwitted Tallest to a tall podium. They stood behind it and many lights suddenly came on, revealing the Control Brain Council behind them. "We're on Irk, Zim. Your Pak won't be able to override the ENTIRE planet," Red explained. "The continuation of your Trial begins now."


Lard Nar took in a deep breath as he looked at the huge planet below him. He was sitting in the main control chair on the observation deck of his new ship. "Will someone PLEASE remind me why we're doing this again?"

Spleenk raised a hand guiltily. "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time," he offered.

Lard Nar sighed and bit his lower lip. "Well, we did not come all this way to turn tail and hide!" he announced heroically. "Get ready to fire at the Irken hatcheries!" he yelled with gusto. "Time to show those scum how serious we Resisty really are!"

There were a few ragged cheers from the crew as Shloonktapooxis hovered above the cannon, ready to fire at the command. Lard Nar narrowed his eyes as he glared at the planet he hated so. Any shred of regret he may have felt was immediately stomped out at the memories of his own people being enslaved by the Irkens. He no longer felt any compassion for any product, living or otherwise, that came from the Empire. "Ready!" he announced. "Aim!" Everyone waited with bated breath as Lard Nar slowly raised a claw into the air and let it fall slowly. "FIRE!"


I got this idea a few days ago while taking notes for AP US history. I liked it and decided to go with it. I hope everyone managed to stay in character and I hope that they stay that way. Make sure to drop a line! I love reviews and feedback, tell me what I'm doing wrong or what suggestions you may have.

Also, it's obvious but in case you couldn't tell, this fic takes place after 'The Trial.'