Sorry I haven't been updating on my other stories, I only update when I feel like it now. x3 But anyways, I wanted to make a new story. DeidaraxSakura. xD I LOVE DEIDARA! My fav character in Naruto (BELIEVE IT OR NOT). Oh and yeah, He's a guy. x3 I'm not les or bi. So anyways... I got this idea from CraZy-AneH-GiRL. It was just..TOO AWESOME TO IGNORE. I just HAD to use the idea! Cause I love Deidara! And DeidaraxSakura! And it's a perfect comedy/parody plot. Yeah, Enjoy.

Chapter 1

I'm going to be a...WHAT!

Deidara was asleep peacefully in his bed, Sasori... Well, I don't know where he is. So let's just focus on Deidara here. In his dream...He was...Well, Dreaming. So let's see what this dream was about...

-Inside His Dream-

Deidara was sleeping when he was suddenly woken up by Sasori who had slammed a pillow into his face.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR, UN?" He screamed, Bolting up from his comfortable bed, Ready to slap Sasori in the face, Only to have the hand caught by his danna.

Sasori stared at him un-emotionally. "Leader needs to speak with you. It's important."

"I don't have time, un! I need my beauty sleep!"

And with that, He plopped back down on the bed, Covering himself with the blanket.

Sasori's eye twitched.

He took a deep breath.

"YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOUR LAZY BUM UP! AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!"

Deidara immediately dashed out the door, Fearing Sasori's wrath. Or soon to be wrath. I mean, Who doesn't know that Sasori's mad when his eyes are all firey and his teeth suddenly turned Kisame-like?

Arriving at the Leader's room, He asked,"Yes, Rei-sama?"

"Deidara...I have a special request," The eerie shadow spoke. Then Deidara thought of something. Why the heck is leader always in the shadows? He's a friken living shadow! I mean, Once, They went out gardening, And then the leader somehow STILL looked like a shadowy figure while it was the middle of summer and the sun was burning down on them! SERIOUSLY, HOW DOES HE DO IT?

"Yeah, Rei-sama?"

"You will go to Konoha to be a spy. You will watch the kyuubi and his movements."

"But..They've seen me before,un. They'll recognize me,yeah."

"Which is why...You're going to be a girl!"

Deidara blinked.

His eye twitched.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed, Falling to his knees. Before adding an very necessary, "Un."

-End Of Dream-

Deidara bolted up from his sleep, sweating like crazy and terrified yet relieved it was just a dream, as Sasori entered the room.

A pillow hit him in the face.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR, UN?" He screamed, Bolting up from his comfortable bed, Ready to slap Sasori in the face, Only to have the hand caught by his danna.

Sasori stared at him un-emotionally. "Leader needs to speak with you. It's importa-"

Before Sasori could finish, Deidara started blabbing.

"Oh my god, un! That reminds me of my dream, un! You came in, hit me with a pillow, caught my hand, and then you told me the leader needed to speak to me, yeah!"

Sasori stared at him strangely, Silently urging him to go on.

"And then I went to the leader, Because you suddenly burst at me,un...AND HE TOLD ME TO INFILTRATE KONOHA BY BEING A GIRL, UN!"

Sasori stifled a laugh at Deidara's crazy dream. But Sasori doesn't laugh. So therefore, He stifled it.

"Okay...Well...The leader needs you."

Then something clicked in Deidara's head. He shivered. "I'm...I'm not going...Un..."

Sasori's eye twitched.

He took a deep breath.

"YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOUR LAZY BUM UP! AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!"

Deidara immediately dashed out the door, Fearing Sasori's wrath. Or soon to be wrath. I mean, Who doesn't know that Sasori's mad when his eyes are all firey and his teeth suddenly turned Kisame-like?

Then he froze in his tracks.

Wasn't that what happened in his dream?

A bad feeling started forming inside him as he hesitantly arrived at the Leader's room.

Gulping, He started, "H-hai Rei-sama?"

"Deidara...I have a special request..."

OH CRAP! HE SAID IT. Deidara thought, panicing now.

"W-what is it...?" He answered with a shaky voice.

The leader raised an (shadowy) eyebrow at the genderless (to most people in the world) Akatsuki. But really, He was a guy. ... Or so we think.

The leader mentally shrugged to himself and continued, "You will go to Konoha to be a spy. You will watch the kyuubi and his movements."

"But..They've seen me before,un. They'll recognize me,yeah."

"Which is why...You're going to be a girl!"

Deidara blinked.

His eye twitched.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed, Falling to his knees. "Un."

This...This is like my dream...OH MY GOD! UN!

Deidara cupped his face into his hands as anime tears streamed down his cheeks.

"WHY! WHY ME,UN?"

"Because you're the most feminine and easy to disguise," Kisame said, Stepping out of a shadow inside the room.

"And we're famous Akatsuki," Itachi also cut in, Stepping out from beside Kisame.

"I'm a plant," Zetsu walked in from the opened door.

"I wear my mask all the time," Tobi said, hanging from the cieling. When he even got there, we shall never know.

"Hidan and Kakuzu are already known for the Two tail's murder."

"Sasori is a puppet, Too suspicious."

Deidara slowly got up, weakly. His knees were shaking. How could he possibly ruin his reputation by being ... A GIRL?

"Why can't you go, un!" He said, Not really thinking and pointing an accusing finger at the shadowy silhouette.

"I'm the leader. I have my own duties."

Deidara lowered his head in defeat. Why DID his mother have to mistake him for being a girl? It was obvious that he was a guy. But nooo, Mothers just love daughters better and since she couldn't have a daughter, she made DEIDARA live on as a GIRL for the rest of his life. Therefore, He became gender confused til the age where he learned what sex and puberty was. ...And he picked up some girly attributes.

"Any more questions?"

"N-no...Un..."

"Good, We have a passport and you will have to alter your appearance slightly. And take off that ugly scope on your left eye..."

Deidara glared at the leader, who glared back with a more powerful force.

"Do you understand?"

Deidara cringed and nodded. He sulkily stalked out of the room, a rain cloud above his head, as water started pouring onto him.

The Akatsuki members sweat dropped.

"Is this really the only way?"

"I believe it is. If he tries to use Henge, He'll run out of chakra soon enough. We can't let any mistakes happen. Besides, Since Deidara is naturally a guy-"

The Akatsuki members looked a bit doubtful about this. They never really found out what gender he was. They just assumed he was a guy cause of his voice.

"-who has girly attributes-"

They all nodded, knowing it was true.

"-we will have him cross dress as a girl. I mean, He has the potential."

"Well, You guys should go and help him get ready now."

They nodded and single filed out of the room.

Meanwhile, Deidara was packing his suitcase, mumbling something about idiotic holographic shadowy leaders,cross dressing again for the 164th time in his life,his first time wearing a dress,his other fifty times wearing different flowery dresses, and the ribbons he used to have in his hair (cause he was forced by his ever so evil mother) when he was small. He hadn't ditched his hairstyle but he only used a hair band to keep his hair up instead of the big red sissy bows his mom ordered him to tie it up with.

Sasori walked into the room.

"Come on, We'll help you get some make up and stuff on."

Deidara shivered.

"Right, Un."

So they went into the bathroom, got Deidara to sit infront of the mirror and set to work. First they let his hair down, brushed it a bit, and just kept it that way. I mean, ANYONE would recognize Deidara in his usual pony tail. They then got some new clothes. Plain clothes. Not too girly, Not too masculine. Though since he was already gender confused to the public, They would assume he was a girl. Sasori put some make up on Deidara, Or he tried to, For Deidara kept grunting and moving with a few additional "Un"s. Why he needed make up? So people wouldn't even GUESS he was Akatsuki. Seriously, What kind of Akatsuki would disgrace himself like that?

Deidara narrowed his eyes as he thought about the leader.

Well, they would disgrace themselves if they were forced to.

Then, They removed the scope on his eye and finally, they were done.

Deidara looked..Atleast more girly now. Not that he didn't before.

He grunted at his reflection, this was SO not him. Actually, he looked completely like a girl now. If one to see, They wouldn't have any doubts. Even though he was a girl... He was... A flat chested one.

As if on cue, Sasori held up a bra with an sinister grin plastered onto his puppet face.

Deidara's eyes widened. "HELL NO, UN! NO WAY ARE YOU MAKING ME WEAR THAT, UN!"

Sasori's smile turned into a frown. Then, the smirk appeared on his face again as an evil glint appeared in his eyes. Deidara backed away in fear, bumping into the wall in the process.

"N-no...No...NO, UN!"

Thump.

Crash.

Scream.

2 mins later...

"I can't believe I have to wear this thing..."

Deidara muttered and cursed under his breath as he stared at his reflection where he was held down by Sasori's mom and dad (WHO WERE PUPPETS). Atleast now he wasn't...Flat chested.

Though they were a bit hollow. (cough cough)

Sasori stared satisfied at Deidara's new look.

He was the only one who really knew and had confirmed that Deidara was INDEED a man. Let's just say..He had walked into the bathroom..When it was unlocked. But I don't really want to repeat that story for Sasori would kill me since that day, He had been scarred for life.

"Oh please, Atleast you're a pretty girl now," Sasori taunted, smirking at Deidara who continued sulking.

Then an idea popped in Deidara's head.

"Th-that's right...THAT'S RIGHT, UN! I'm a pretty girl now! Bwahahhahahaha, No more fights with Itachi...BECAUSE I'M PRETTIER THAN HIM! YEAH!" Deidara threw his arms in the air as thunder clashed behind him. "Ku ku ku ku ku kuu..."

His evil laughter sounded suspiciously like Orochimaru.

Sasori sweat dropped and backed away from him.

He made a mental note to himself. NEVER call Deidara a pretty girl.

"I MUST TELL SOMEONE! NO. I must tell..Itachi-san, un!"

So thus, the new and improved Deidara ran off to find Itachi.

Itachi was currently reading a playboy magazine that he had stolen from Hidan. Suddenly the door burst open. Well, More like it flew across the room and smashed through the window, killing two birds in the process.

He calmly turned to look at who intruded him until, he felt his jaw drop.

There, was Deidara.

THE GIRL.

"AHAHA! IN YOUR FACE, UN. I'M SO PRETTIER THAN YOU!" Deidara yelled triumphantly, pointing a finger at the startled Uchiha.

Deidara let out another evil laugh. "Ku ku ku ku ku!"

Then he slammed the door (well, He slammed thin air for he had not noticed the door was missing) and ran off to tell the others.

Itachi's eyes twitched. (YES. Both of his eyes twitched. Gosh, Twitchophobia is a very common disease in the Akatsuki, ne?)

NO ONE, was prettier than the Uchiha Itachi.

Deidara will pay...

-o-o-o-o-o-

xD Hope you enjoyed that chapter! So far, No romance. Anyways, Hoped you enjoyed that. x3 Please review and tell me whatcha think! 3