Disclaimer: Paper Mario owns all, none of it is mine.
For all the Kooper/Bombette shippers out there (if there are any), here is a story just for you. REPOSTED WITH SCENE DIVIDERS!
Of Shaved Ice Treats, Coins, and Fireworks
Kooper sighed and held his one coin up to the light. Koopa Koot had cornered him coming out of his house - it was never good to live next door to the town mooch - and asked him in that pathetically old voice that makes it impossible to say no, to run all the way to Shiver City to get him a shaved ice treat. Kooper left his house in the hands of his most trusted friend, a pink bob-omb named Bombette, and set out on a week-long journey. First, he got lost in the stupid tunnels and then, when he finally made it to the northern city of snow, the tunnel iced over and he was stuck there.
And for all his trouble, Kooper walked away with only one coin.
This was not what he had planned for himself. After becoming a hero as a member of Mario's party - yes the Mario himself - Kooper had planned to travel the world with his neighbor and idol, Kolorado. But just as the two koopas were setting out on their first adventure together, Kolorado was called home by his wife and was now unable to leave the house for any length of time without his wife descending on him with a firey anger that rivaled Kooper's fire shell. Kooper was not a great explorer. The only adventure he got now came in the form of some mundane task crazy old Koopa Koot forced him into doing.
The front door of Kooper's house blew off its hinges and landed across the street. A pair of green bob-ombs scurried out after it, dragging a blue one out after them.
"Bombette, my darling! Your bomb-bursting displays of fiery passion ignite my fuse!"
"Shut up, Bruce!" the blue bob-omb's friends growled, trying to get him out of Bombette's range before she could light her fuse again.
"Fiery passion!" Bombette shouted from the doorway. "Fiery anger!" she corrected. "Annoyance, loathing, disgust! Not passion!"
"You're so beautiful when you're glowing like that," Bruce sighed whistfully.
"Gah!" Bombette cried and blew up again. "Get him away from me!"
The two green bob-ombs finally managed to drag Bruce out of Bombette's sight and she turned slowly to survey the damage she'd caused this time. Kooper's front door was across the street, sticking in the grass at an impossible angle. The east side of his house was charred and some flames still licked the roof. The inside was completely trashed and covered in ash. She turned her gaze back outside and found Kooper staring at her from his spot in front of Koopa Koot's house.
"Sorry," she said sheepishly. He just stared, mouth agape. "Kooper?" she asked uncertainly.
"You...You blew up my house."
He didn't sound angry and Bombette wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. "I'm sorry."
"You blew it up again."
His voice was still toneless and Bombette was growing impatient. "If you're mad, just be mad. And you know, you knew this was a risk when you said I could live here. You know Bruce is the most annoying bob-omb to ever walk the Mushroom Kingdom and you know he won't stop telling me he's in love with me! If you wanted to keep your house in one piece, you should have kicked me out!"
Kooper started laughing. He flipped on his back, howling in gasp-for-breath, gut-busting laughter. "You - blew - up - my - house," he choked out. Koopa Koot stuck his head out of his window to shake his head and "the younger generation." Kolorado peeked out for a second before his wife dragged him back inside.
"Kooper?" Bombette said, taking a tentative step toward him. "Are you alright?"
"I've fallen and I can't get up!" he giggled. He struggled to fight down the chuckles long enough to flip himself upright again, but it was no use.
"Kooper, have you gone insane?" Bombette helped him to his feet and steered him into his demolished house.
"I went all the way to Shiver City for an ice treat for a coin and my house got blown up for the second time in a month!" He was still laughing, which confused Bombette to no end. If her day had been half that bad, she would be explosively angry, not hysterically giggly. "I'm stuck in Koopa Village babysitting old men and bob-ombs -"
"'Babysitting bob-ombs?'" Bombette repeated angrily. "I didn't realize I needed 'babysitting!'"
"No, not you!" Kooper tried to reason with her, but his short-tempered friend was beyond reason.
"I've had just about enough of you Kooper! You're never any help to me! You never help me get rid of Bruce. Whenever he comes over all you do is laugh at me!"
"I don't -"
"It's not funny that he's so obsessed with me! It's annoying! You could at least try to help me knock some sense into him!"
"I'm going to stay at the castle this weekend!"
Kooper surveyed the charred remains of his house and thought he'd like to stay somewhere else that weekend too. He didn't say it out loud though, for fear of setting Bombette off again and losing his house all together. Kooper trudged down to the Toad House and got himself a room. Outside, Koover and a few bob-ombs were putting up banners and decorations to commemorate the one-year anniversary of the Star Spirits' return to Star Haven this Sunday. Kooper looked down at the one coin in his hand, that he had somehow managed to hang onto.
"One more coin..." he told himself, and tucked that day's earnings in his shell with his six other coins.
"Who does Kooper think he is?" Bombette fumed.
She was at Koopa Bros. Fortress, renamed Bob-omb Castle, because the Koopa Bros. no longer lived there. All that was left of their reign were a few koopa troopas that had been rounded up and locked in the jail cell that had once held Bombette.
"I should blow him up! He's so dense sometimes! And crazy! Did I tell you about how he just started laughing at stuff that wasn't funny?" Bombette's prisoners nodded and watched her intently. They were hopping she was get really angry and blow the bars apart for them to escape. "I mean, why would he think I need babysitting? So I blew up his house a few times, so what? Bruce is the one that needs babysitting! Someone needs to keep that bob-omb far away from me. ...What is Kooper thinking!"
"Maybe you should just tell him how you feel," one of the koopa troopa's suggested.
"Nobody asked you!"
"I thought you just..." The poor, confused koopa troopa looked to his friends for help, but they only shook their heads. It was no use arguing with Bombette.
"Go to sleep," Bombette barked. She leaned up against the opposite wall and glared at the prisoners until they curled up in their shells and fell asleep. "Kooper, you idiot," she mumbled before she drifted off to sleep as well.