Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Gseed characters.. if ever I did… I would kill that blonde!

TAINTED

Written by PuRpLebLusH017

. : ATHRUN ZALA : .

Ironic

That's what life is. At least that's how I, former ZAFT and FAITH ally, Athrun Zala view my life. Leaning back on that hard cold solid wall, I can't seem to feel but miserable once again. I sigh inwardly, sounding like a thorn has been pricked from inside of me. As I stare on that blood-like liquid this clear glass I'm holding, I try not to feel any guilt about every bloodshed that I myself has beset upon.

And then, I fail. Just as fragile as those feathers hiding inside those fabrics of eternity, I easily break into pieces. I shook my head to dismiss the thought. I only wanted one thing my whole life. Yet, it was never given to me.

I only wanted happiness.

A happy life.

Was that so hard to give?

Being the trained soldier and an elite coordinator that I am, I'm supposedly to NOT feel anything during the war. But I am, just like any body else, human too aren't I? I close my eyes and flashbacks came crossing my vision. I see the picture of my late mother. How I wish I could have protected her. I already have the will, yet, I don't have the power.

There came the vision of that chocolate haired male I try not to kill. Kira Yamato. The friends we were back then turned upside down when we saw one another in the battlefield. How can I fight or even kill the one person whom I trusted and befriended? Him being my friend is definitely confusing me. But then, at the end of the heated battle, it was also him who enlightened me and led me to the right path.

But at the same time, there is something deep inside of me that wants to hate him. For whenever I utter his name, she always comes trailing after.

Lacus Clyne.

Two words. One meaning. A pink-haired angel fallen out of the sky. The same angel whom everybody loves. The pink songstress of hope, others say. But then, at the end, it all sums up to one person after all.

Alas, my life was shone a little light when that sweet smile greeted and eased my pain. Truth be told, I was happy to know that she's going to be the future Mrs. Lacus Zala. Hmmm, that's really nice to pronounce. It sounds almost perfect. Mr. Athrun Zala and Mrs. Lacus Zala.

But as the war ignited like a wildfire, we became enemies. Apparently, I held a gun pointing at that innocent angel. Such life I had.

Our solitude gave way for a woman to destructively invade my mind, namely, Cagalli Yula Atha. Surprisingly, she is the long lost twin sister of my dear friend, Kira. She's a woman who will do anything for her homeland, Orb, a neutral country. Her situation is what I prefer best. I couldn't let her be away from her beloved homeland. I knew that it will never work between the two of us.

"congratulations!"

I silently steal a glance to contaminate my soul. There she is. Long pink hair, those sparkling blue eyes, that satin complexion, those sweet cherry lips, and that heavenly laugh.

I frown.

Isn't this supposed to be a celebration for her? For she was finally getting to tie the everlasting knot with my best friend? Engagements were supposed to be about happy feelings for the two people right? And I'm their friend right? Pfft. Friend. That's what all I am. A friend. Friends were supposed to be happy for their friends who are about to be wed right? Now, why the hell am I frowning?

"wow! It's sooooo pretty!" her friend beside her begin to chatter. Talking about how pretty her engagement ring is. I snort, for it's not THAT pretty—pretty. Knowing her, she would prefer a simple amethyst than that stupid overly large diamond around her ring finger.

"do you think Kira spent a fortune at that?" her stupid friend started again. Heh, If I just had that chance, I would have given her MORE than that worthless piece of shit.

As I zoom on her reaction, I clearly saw that she blushed. She blushed. A simple reaction that triggers a lot of emotions inside of me. I guess, I should leave. I have already been here, talking to myself for almost two hours now. That's quite enough, I guess. Besides, all I've been doing is ogle at her magnificent presence. And its not good to ogle at your ex-fiancée who is your best friend's fiancée, right?

I'm done with this. I already tortured myself. It's enough thought that I can't have her anymore. So, why bother? I wasn't even planning to attend this boring party if it weren't for… for her. I just wanted to see if she's really happy about what she's going to do. Hell, I'm not planning to attend the wedding proper itself. I sit upright and gently placed the untouched wine I held on a center table. I was about to walk to get my coat when another torture came at me.

"Athrun! Leaving so soon?" those purple eyes have always been TOO concerned about almost everything lately. I appreciate all of his love and care for me. But right now, I feel like punching him straight in the face with all my strength. And later, strangle him to death.

"uhh.." I shutter. Those are bad thoughts about a friend, I tell myself. "busy day tomorrow…" I try to explain to him.

I could see brown hair flutter around and two hands clasped together in front of me. "just don't leave yet…"

I try to ignore those puppy eyes. I knew that this was going somewhere in the middle of my own liking.

"…truth be told… I want to ask for a favor…"

See? I just knew him too well. Hardly predictable.

"you see.. I have this errand to do and I received a call earlier that I need to attend to it right now…" he explains. There was something in his eyes that I cannot tell. His expression suddenly changed to another mask that I can't read. It's as if his eyes are hiding something sorrowful deep inside, but then, I really can't say.

"—I need you to watch out for Lacus at me!—" I stop upon hearing her name. If it's related to her, then this will be as hard as those heart dropping experiences I had just to ensure that my feelings are still intact. Far from her, way far where she could hear me repeat her name over and over again. "—and I need you to watch her for me! Just for tonight! Please?" he was now waving his clasped hands in front of his face like a kid. Childish acts were one of his unique personalities after all.

My eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the topic of our conversation. "does she know?" I ask, pertaining to Lacus of course. I just had to know. I don't want her to misunderstand anything. I could feel Kira's sticky stare at her from our point of view. As if on queue, she turns to look at us and gently smiled. I selfishly think that she smiled at ME not at HIM.

"yes… I already told her… about everything…" there was that indescribable feeling once again. What was he hiding anyway? What? "please say yes!" I stopped thinking when he started shaking me furiously. God, he just couldn't take No for an answer eh?

With my defense line crushed. I knew I was trapped. I have nothing else to do but agree. "…okay…" my eyes unconsciously eyed the pink haired beauty encircled with her friends. But I won't be liable to whatever I could do…

Amidst to me, Kira gave a small sad smile.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Those heavy eyelids that are about to fall, those extremely flushed face and those sweet parted cherry lips—were almost heavenly to my eyes. I smile inwardly and devilish too. For I knew one thing, the sweet innocent Lacus Clyne who is admired by every living soul in this lifetime is absolutely out of control!

She was drunk.

Yeah… drunk

And I can't help but feel happy about it. She was making herself more vulnerable than before. And it was stirring up the rising temptation inside of me to do unlogical things to her. I sigh. I knew I should have stopped her when her so-called friends dared her to drink alcohol. They kept on saying that this was her party and she should enjoy it anyways. Heh, if I knew better, they just want to see her on her knees, making herself look stupid. So much for entitling themselves her friends.

Looking around the room we are in, her guests have already deserted her moments ago, leaving her alone with me. And, a little, no, lots of garbage those 'friends' left after crashing into her party. But as she continue sitting on that pinkish couch, head tilted to her left, right arm above her head, she just looked more beautiful than ever.

I silently pick her up from the said couch in bridal style. She moans but doesn't fight to unhand her. Her eyes slowly closed as she snuggled on me, finding that comfortable position, Feeling more of the heat I emitted.

"I'm taking you to bed." I stated. Seconds later, I mentally slapped myself. This pink-haired gal might get the wrong idea from what I have said. "…you need some rest..." I correct myself, hoping that there weren't any damages done.

She replies with more snuggles and a little moan. When she reached her bed, I gently lay her down, covering her with comforters to replace the warmth she just got used to earlier. I sit besides her, watching her chest heave up and down, making a rhythmic pattern I brush those soft pink tresses away from blocking my perfect view on her face.

I smile. That glowing lovely face is honestly heavenly. I fight the urge to kiss her parted lips. To taste her once a gain. No, I shouldn't do that… she's… she's already taken

She shifted; her back was now facing me. I try to calm myself down. Who knows when I would blow up? Before I could lift my foot to leave, she utters something which caught me off guard.

"we were never given another chance…"

"Aa." I just knew what she was talking about. Something I want to run and hide from. How can I forget? But before this topic torment my heart and soul once again, I try to disclose it. "you better sleep… or Kira will kill me for making you stay up this late…"

She laughs. I didn't utter it in that manner but she rather found it humorous. "I don't see any Kira's around, do you?"

"Aa" I turn my head to stare at those dark corners. "but still… you—"

She sits up straight, her right hand behind her for support. The other tugged my shirt. "don't you want to talk about it?"

"we don't need to talk about anything…" I defend. The pain was starting to rise up once more.

"we need to!" she commands. It was as if it was a necessity to her.

"Lacus… you're engaged…" I say, with deep sorrow hidden underneath. "we don't need to dwell about the past… you worry about your future instead…"

"…but you're hurt…"

"…" How could I forget that she has this ability that can penetrate through my ice block walls?

"Athrun…" she turns me around so that we could see each others face. "…how long are you going to play this charade…? This might bring you to your end…"

"…"

"that's why… that's why we have to talk… about EVERYTHING… we need to resolve it before its too late…"

I snort. "It's already too late for a closure Lacus, if that's what you're trying to say…"

"Athrun…"

"…you… you're already engaged…" I swallow. Though, it was the thought I couldn't digest. "…to him…"

"I know…" she smiles. "and it feels kind of awkward too…" I shot my head towards her. Could it be possible? That she still—? My eyes suddenly rounded, was she having doubts about her engagement with Kira all along? "I pictured my life to be with you forever…" I can see that blush creeping on her rosy cheeks.

"—to have your children inside of me…"

"…"

"—to be in your arms every night…"

"…"

"—to worry for you whenever you're at work… and—"

My brows knitted together. There was only one logical thing that explains why she's saying these things to me right now. "you're drunk"

She laughs upon hearing that. "yes, yes, of course I am! But… you don't believe me?"

"you're intoxicated. You don't know what you're saying…"

"don't you know that alcohol makes a person say things they dearly want to bury six feet under? Alcohol usually makes them say all of these things without holding back, without thinking about the consequences of the 'ifs'. Therefore, it's like a truth serum…" she smiles once again. Oh God, I hate her malicious smile right now. This woman is NOT the Lacus Clyne I know and love.

"…"

"Athrun…" she bit her lip "I think—I think—"

"stop it!"

"but…"

"you're getting married Lacus! Focus on that!"

"I… I think I don't want to get married with him…" she said it the magic words that will cause me my fall. Now, it's her fault. All her fault that I'm having all this tingling sparks of hope inside of me.

"Lacus…" I whisper.

"I'm still in love with you…" she says, looking straight into my eyes, piercing through time and reality. I was searching for the verity of her statement. I felt like I had to be sure before I conclude things. When I found no reason at all, all those hidden and pent up emotions just blew up. It felt forever waiting for those words again.

"you're going to regret this…" I tell her.

"I am?"

"…but I wont…" I smile seductively. Ah, those dreams I had with her been slowly coming to reality. And the next thing I knew and focused on was the warmness her mouth was giving onto mine. How long have I waited for this day? To finally have her back in my arms? My hands traveled expertly on her body, reminiscing her.

As things run as far as they wanted to, I vowed to myself, I will take her no matter what. Far, far away from the man she was supposed to wed. Far from the people we knew. Away from the people who parts us apart.

I knew for a fact that I was taking advantage of the drunken pink haired songstress. But as things started to heat up between the two of us, I couldn't care less.

So, what if I am kissing my ex-fiancée?

What if I'm savaging her lips on mine?

What if she's getting married to my best friend?

So, what if I plan to kidnap her for my selfish desires?

Hey, life is Ironic.

Isn't it?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Purpleblush: yehey! I finished this one! I hope I could continue this one too! And my other stories as well! College life has never been busy!

I hope that you liked this chappie!

Kindly leave me your thoughts and constructive criticisms!

Please and thank you…

Love you all…

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