Severus Snape sat worriedly outside the hospital wing clenching his fists and cursing. His wife, one Hermione Snape was giving birth to their first child and he had been banished from the wing after Hermione had called him every name under the sun for making her endure the pain.
'Severus Snape I'm going to kill you!' she had shouted before he was shooed away by Madam Pomfrey who was frantically checking on his wife. Surely giving birth wasn't this complicated? All the potions Hermione had been given were far higher dosages than the normal birth. Is there something they aren't telling me?
Unclenching his fist, he opened the crumpled piece of paper in his hand. Hermione didn't know it, but the paper had been stolen by him from her bedside. It was quite a sentiment he thought, that she had already named what their three, (they had decided on three children maximum) children would be called. They already knew that the baby was a girl, and so Severus had silently agreed to let Hermione name all the children with her 'wish list' of names.
Hermione hadn't discussed the name with him, she had assumed that like all Pureblood families, (although he was a half-blood) that the father would name the child and had left it at that. However Severus had no desire to name his children, knowing his own tastes would probably leave the child scarred and bullied for life.
A loud scream echoes from the wing and more bustling ensued, a voice which he recognised as Ginny Potter cried out, 'Oh God not like before Hermione,' while a shrilly Mrs Weasley was shrieking for Pain-relief potions to be administered to his wife. Now he knew something was wrong, 'like before?' What before? Why hadn't he been told? All the extra potions, the high dosages, the worried matron…
Severus Snape had been duped, and with a fit of anger he burst into the wing just as Hermione's final scream filled the room and the child was born. Rushing to his wives bedside and taking her hand her whispered words of comfort, trying to soothe her, but nevertheless tears ran thick and fast down her face and she choked on her words.
'Is she okay? Is my baby okay?'
'Hermione the baby is fine,' he replied calmly before addressing the matron, 'Can we have a calming draught?'
'I should think not, you should know of all people what a calming draught can do when mixed with the other potions she has taken,' was the stern reply he received.
Sending the nurse a puzzled frown he asked, 'I thought the draughts were normal procedure with births?'
He was shocked to see Madam Pomfrey shake her head sadly and sigh, 'Not with the chance of miscarriage there isn't. No. No, Hermione must endure the pain for now I'm afraid, until the other potions have run their course.'
Severus, still stunned turned to Hermione who was sobbing quietly into the sheet. 'Hermione, why is there a chance of miscarriage?'
At this, Hermione burst into more tears and Madam Pomfrey shook her head, 'Oh my dear you hadn't told him?'
Hermione blew her nose and shook her head, before dissolving into tears and calling out, 'Can you bring me my baby, can I hold Felcia?'
'Felcia? Hermione on the list it says you wanted our first-born to be called Prima, meaning first. Felcia means…'
'Lucky Severus, it means lucky. Prima wouldn't go because…she isn't our first.'
'What do you mean? Of course she is; Felcia isn't even on your list. Your female names list consists of Prima, Selene and Tertia…'
Sobbing continued and Severus stopped talking, taking Hermione's hand and passing her baby Felcia.
'Oh Severus I should have said, when the war was at its peak during the last term of my seventh year…'
'You mean when we ended it?'
She glowered at him in anger before nodding and whispering, 'When you ended it Severus.'
'On Dumbledore's orders Hermione…' he supplied bitterly and motioned for her to continue.
'BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT SEVERUS!' she cried, 'you told me you didn't want me, but I was already pregnant by then and after ending our relationship so badly I …I couldn't bear to tell you.'
She broke off, her eyes glowing worriedly and she bit her lip. Severus broke the silence.
'Hermione, did you have a baby?'
She nodded dumbly, and then shook her head ashamedly, sniffing and closing her eyes in pain.
'I killed it Severus.'
Awakening later in the wing, Severus was found by the matron with his head in his hands and was weeping. When Madam Pomfrey handed him a restorative draught he brushed it away, grabbing the matron's wrist and whispered, 'I drove her to kill our baby?'
Horrified by his guilt, she forced him down and called for a now recovered Hermione holding baby Felcia. 'Severus? Severus please talk to me, I don't blame you for it Severus. I was the one who asked for the abortion, I didn't have the courage to tell you.'
Severus shook his head firmly and gripped her hand, 'But I sent you away. You were Eighteen and vulnerable, and I pushed you away selfishly because I didn't want the pain if you died.'
'Severus by being a muggleborn, and the best friend of Harry Potter I was always in danger, I just wish you could have seen that.'
Severus agreed and hugged Hermione, staring down at his baby girl.
'Has she a…memorial of some kind? She would have been so small…nothing to bury.'
The question was simple, but slowly drawn out as if he was afraid to cause her anymore pain.
'There is a grave by the lake, near the old willow tree I used to study at.'
Nodding, Severus stood up and helped her to her feet. He took the sleeping baby from Hermione and kissed Felcia's forehead.
Holding hands, the couple went down to the lake with their new daughter and sat by their unborn daughter's grave. The inscription on the tiny tombstone, (because there wasn't actually a body) read;
'Prima Selene Snape- Unborn'
'She is the reminder of what war has cost us.'
Unbeknownst to her parents, a tear slipped down little Felcia's cheek.
A/N: I realise that just because she had an abortion it doesn't mean that a miscarriage is anymore likely than before, but for this Fic I'm defying logic and it is.
Prima: First child