Title: Himes On Crack (Part VI)
Note: Don't own Mai-Hime. I'll let Sunrise take the credit.
Rating: R for innuendo
Word count: 1947
Summary: What do drunk himes talk about? Truth or Dare.
A/N 1: I wonder if people still remember me, hehe. It has been a long time since I posted anything Shiznat. At least I still enjoy writing, and am reading a lot of Shiznat fanfics. No idea when I'll post next. All I can say is, this fic is just a little silly something to brighten people's day. (grins)
A/N 2: Just want to do a shout-out to guubear, midorihitomi, Uchiha-chan, writer-jm, NatsukixOx, FiveMinutesAlone, jordan.D, random?guy, Kinslayer Nara, Vld, CrystalICE1, pekopeko, Pretend2besome1, scoobz, ToumaSan, justforgetit. Thanks for reviewing! Your comments are greatly appreciated!
Mai, Mikoto, Natsuki, Shizuru, Nao, and Midori are hanging out in a karaoke room on a Sunday night. Everyone is drunk, and weird shit happens.
Midori: As the Social Chair of the Karaoke Club, may I present our first annual karaoke bingo night! (strings of confetti magically appear behind her)
Mai: And as the President of the Karaoke Club, I object! You can't sing and play bingo at the same time!
Midori: C'mon, I'm only responding to the remaining club members' wishes to spice things up a bit. Listen to the voice of the people in the spirit of democracy! (resurrects the famous Evita balcony scene)
Mai: (crosses arms) I never said that this club is a karao-cracy. In fact, you can call me the karao-tator.
Nao: Seriously, bingo is so old-school. I said to spice things up, not to water things down. Don't treat us like some old ladies in a retirement home. Can't we do something that is more suitable to our age? Oh, and by "our", you were not included, Midori.
Midori: Hey! I'm only seventeen! (strikes a kawaii pose)
Natsuki: As much as I hate to burst your bubble, showing up here in the Fuka High uniform does not turn you into a seventeen year old…
Shizuru: Midori-sensei, I regret to inform you that you are still not being picked up by my adorable kohei radar, which means you're either too old or not cute enough.
Natsuki: Excuse me, your what radar? (icy glare switch – on)
Shizuru: (angelic smile) The one I use to avoid running into tempta … I mean, totally clingy fan girls, of course.
Natsuki: Or the one you use to recruit new fan club members … (twists head to the side to show annoyance)
Shizuru: Why would I want to expand my fan club when I already have my number one fan by my side? (wraps her arms around Natsuki's waist)
Natsuki: (quiet voice plus tomato face) Who's your number one fan now? (struggles lightly in Shizuru's arms)
Shizuru: Since the day we met, I signed you up to be the lone member in the only Fujino Shizuru fan club sanctioned by Fujino Shizuru herself. (leans in for a kiss)
Hypnotized by the enchanting voice of her girlfriend, Natsuki closes her eyes.
Mai: (speaks with a microphone) Ahem, remember the newest karaoke club rule, girls?
Shizuru and Natsuki stop in their tracks in confusion.
Mai: Mikoto, rule book! (snaps finger)
Mikoto runs on all fours around the room and returns to Mai with a black binder in her mouth.
Mai: Thank you. (pats the black haired girl on the head) Back to you two rule-breakers. Rule number 37 – No making out in the karaoke room.
Natsuki: Shizuru and I never voted on this stupid rule!
Mai: Sorry to break it to you, but this is a karao-tatorship. After that strange incident from our last meeting, I feel that this rule is absolutely necessary.
Shizuru: Ara, may I perceive Natsuki's passionate dissent as a sign of her having the hots for me? (blows warm air into Natsuki's ear)
Natsuki: Shizuru! (whisper) You know damn well how I feel about you … (buries her head in the nook of Shizuru's neck)
Nao: God, I'd rather play bingo than watch those two horn-dogs fondle each other like there's no one else in the room. (disgusted look) Hey! Don't pass me a bingo card!
Midori: Fine, what do you propose we do then? (pout)
Nao: (smirk) I'm fine with strip poker or truth or dare.
Mai: How about truth or dare with a twist? The truth part stays the same, but for dares, we can only dare each other to sing songs and wear outfits. That way, I can make sure that there is singing involved.
Mumblings of "alright" and "okay" fill the room.
Midori: I'll start! Natsuki, I choose you! Truth or dare?
Natsuki: Am I a freak'in pokemon now? (sigh) Dare.
Midori: That's no fun. I already have the perfect question in mind!
Natsuki: The more reason why I am going for dare. Now name your song and outfit.
Midori: Hm … (wicked grin) I want you to cosplay as your dearly beloved. Sing Katakoi Enka in a purple yukata!
In mild annoyance, Natsuki goes to the changing room and puts on a purple yukata while grumbling nonsense.
Mai: Ohhhh, and you have to sing with a Kyoto-ben! (cheeky smile) I saw you buying "Kyoto-ben for Dummies" the other day at the book store.
Natsuki: (blushes) That's not part of the deal! Since when do you stalk me after school?!?!
Mai: I do some part-time private detective work on top of waitressing at the restaurant. However, in the name of the hime star, I shall not disclose the name of my employer.
Nao: (taps on her chin contemplatively) I bet it's your psycho girlfriend trying to scope out potential competition or … (eyes squinting) … to make sure that you're not cheating on her.
Natsuki: Shizuru! Is it really you? (veins start popping up on her forehead)
Shizuru: Your song is starting, Natsuki! Hurry! (hands her a microphone)
Mai: Remember the Kyoto-ben! If you can't do it, it means that you're dumber than a dummy!
Everyone in the room except Natsuki starts chanting "Kyoto-ben".
Overwhelmed by the chanting, Natsuki forgets about her interrogation and starts singing with a fake Kyoto accent.
Nao: (disbelief look) Shit, it's actually not that bad. She did study her dummies book!
Midori: If only she can spend as much effort in studying for her regular academic curriculum …
Mikoto: GO NATSUKI!!! (jumps up and down)
Shizuru: (breathless gasp) Natsuki ….
With her eyes fixated on Natsuki, who is pouring her soul out with her sultry voice on stage, Shizuru feels like she is falling in love with her blue haired goddess all over again.
As the performance comes to an end, a devoured by lust Shizuru slides one hand up the slit of Natsuki's yukata and murmurs in Natsuki's ear. Soon a heavily blushing Natsuki lies limp in Shizuru's arms and begins to tremble under her lover's touch …
Nao: Ahem, Rule 37?
Natsuki: Argh, whatever. (rolling her eyes) The singing wasn't so bad. Hm … Who should I pick on? … Mikoto! Truth or dare?
Midori: (whisper) I'll treat you to ramen if you pick truth, Mikoto.
Mai: (panic mode) Mikoto, choose …
Mikoto: (cheery exclaim) TRUTH!
Nao: Heh, this should be interesting. We don't even need to bust out my black market truth serum since it's Mikoto. Who's ready for some dirt on Mai?
Everyone except Mai and Mikoto: I AM!
Suddenly Mikoto climbs onto Mai's lap and begins a close examination on Mai's glorious chest area.
Mikoto: Where's the dirt? I don't see dirt on Mai.
Mai: Uh … Mikoto, didn't you say you need to go to the bathroom? Let's go together!
Mikoto: (confused look) Bathroom?
Midori: Not so fast! Answer my question then you can both go to the bathroom.
Natsuki: Uhm, shouldn't it be MY question?
Mai looks over at Natsuki with teary eyes and sends out SOS signals using a telepathy channel that is only shared by the best of friends.
Natsuki sighs and gives Mai a reassuring nod.
Natsuki: Alright, Mikoto. This should be easy. What is your favorite …
Shizuru: … place to lick Tokiha-san?
Gigantic sweatdrops appear on Natsuki's temple as she looks over at her graciously smiling significant other.
Using the same BFF telepathy channel, Natsuki 'thinks' to Mai, "Sorry, in the poker game of life, girlfriend trumps best friend."
Meanwhile, Mikoto's brows are furrowed as she contemplates the question with all seriousness.
Nao: HAHAHA! The Kyoto bitch is probably pissed at you for creating that no kissing rule, Mai!
Mai: (growls) Honestly, do you think you'll be off the hook for being the one who is most vocal about citing Rule 37?
Nao winces at the truth of that statement.
Mikoto: I got it! I like licking Mai's … HMPH?!?!
In desperation, Mai grabbed the plate of buffalo chicken wings on the table and shoved everything into Mikoto's mouth, not even caring whether the bones are going to make her lovely pet choke to death.
Midori: Hey, that's cheating! Stop interfering with the game!
Mai: As President of the Karaoke Club, I declare that tonight's gathering is over! Go home, everyone! (pants from shouting)
Midori: Don't be such a party pooper, Mai! C'mon, Nao, say something. It's your idea to start this game.
Nao: On second thought, I want to leave before Fujino gets her turn …
Shizuru: Ara, to be honest, I was quite looking forward to asking some intriguing questions. But … (lustful gaze at Natsuki) … going home is never a bad option.
Natsuki once again experiences Shizuru's amazing power to strip people with her eyes.
Natsuki: (cough cough) I just want to clarify that as Mai's best friend, I have no reason to put Mai in a difficult position. Therefore I will leave at her request.
Nao: Now you play your best friend card? (pfft) Please, as if we don't know that you two will be humping like rabbits as soon as you are out of our sight.
Natsuki: (blushes) SHUT UP!
Shizuru: Nobody makes MY Natsuki embarrassed except me … (hell fire is set ablaze behind the crimson orbs)
Nao: Gotta go! (runs madly for the door)
Mai: (nudges Natsuki on the arm and whispers) Damage control, ASAP!
Natsuki rolls her eyes then proceeds to wrap her arms around Shizuru's shoulders.
Natsuki: (sensuous voice) Take me home, baby?
In the blink of an eye, the Asura-hime transforms into a feral beast and lets out a primal howl. Natsuki is suddenly slung over Shizuru's shoulder and the two lovebirds vanish without a trace.
The words "You owe me, Mai!" can be faintly heard from miles away.
Midori: (face pales) Uhm, Mai?
Mai: What is it now, Midori? Party is over. Don't forget your bingo cards.
Midori: You know CPR, right?
Mai: Yea, so? (puzzled look)
Midori: Good, because I don't. (backs towards the door) Mikoto-chan's face is turning blue by the way. Bye!
As Midori runs away, she mutters, "Forgive me, Mai. I don't get paid till next week."
Back in the karaoke room …
Mai: I'm so sorry, Mikoto! (teary eyes) It's all my fault. I shouldn't have stuffed your mouth with chicken wings. Don't leave me!
In slow motion, Mai bends down and kisses the unconscious Mikoto on the lips like the fairy tale young prince who wakes up the sleeping beauty.
Bright light flashes from Mikoto's eyes, and chicken wing after chicken wing shoot out from Mikoto's mouth like a machine gun. Thanks to superb reflex as an ex-hime, Mai was able to get out of the chicken wings' way in the nick of time.
Mikoto: (coughs violently) Mai, what happened?
Mai: (sniffles happily) Just a little CPR. Thank goodness you are okay.
Mikoto: (cocks head to the side) Mai gave me CPR?
Mai: Yup because you weren't breathing.
Mikoto jumps on Mai and lands a big smooch on her owner. After the initial shock wears off, Mai pulls Mikoto off her body.
Mai: What was that for, Mikoto?
Mikoto: Kaichou said every time someone gives you CPR, you need to return the favor by performing CPR on the other person immediately.
With the agility of a wild cat, Mikoto quickly pins Mai to the ground.
Mai: Please tell me that's all Kaichou told you. (terrified eyes)
Mikoto: Fu fu fu … time for some heart massage …
Strange sucking noises and moans of pleasure are heard throughout the night from the karaoke room.