Rodney's jaw dropped. "They shot him!" he yelped in disbelief.
Despite the gravity of the situation, John's lips curled upward in a smirk. "And you call me 'Mr. Obvious'."
"Well excuse me for being a little worried here! Once again, you may think I'm Superman, but bullets don't exactly bounce off my invulnerable body!" Rodney grimaced. "Not since the shield broke, anyway."
There was a roar from outside the room they were in. "So much for hoping they'd forget about us," John said ruefully. "Teyla and Ronon are out there somewhere, but there's not much they can do." He took the physicist by the arm and started dragging him towards the doorway.
"I hate you!" Rodney snapped. "This is all your fault. You would find a planet where negotiations are a cross between American Idol and Survivor! You must have pissed off the God of Hair Products, or something like that."
John was beginning to get a little agitated himself. "My fault? I'm not the one who insisted we had to obtain information on the "fascinating" energy readings on this planet. And I can't be held responsible for the fact that they won't take us seriously unless we compete in their little variety show!"
"Yes, well, too bad that 'getting voted off the island' has a whole different meaning here!"
The colonel raised an eyebrow. "Your knowledge of American reality TV is downright disturbing, McKay. I don't even want to know about what other shows you watch. Now let's get out there before someone decides that we're forfeiting the competition."
Rodney squawked as John pushed him out on stage and followed close behind. The two men froze as they realized just how many people were actually watching them. Wild applause started when they appeared, but faded when John and Rodney just stood there staring for several minutes. The lead talent judge looked grim, and he half-raised his own projectile weapon.
That goaded John into action. Before he could change his mind, he poked Rodney in the ribs and began to sing (loudly and off-key), "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK. I sleep all night and I work all day." A look of horror appeared on the faces of the rest of the judges, and they simultaneously raised their guns and took aim.
John looked at Rodney. Rodney looked at John. Then, as one, they screamed, "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!", and proceeded to turn words into action. As they ran, Teyla and Ronon joined up with them, drenched in sweat and breathing hard. John shook his head as he watched his exhausted team. "Tough crowd," he muttered to himself.