Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach. If I did, Ukitake would be the strongest captain. And Yumichika would have piggytails.
Hey everyone! This is my first Bleach fanfic, so please don't kill me for it. This is dedicated to my toy Duck and my brother, MultipleCyrosis.
Warning: A lot of randomness, randomness and MORE randomness!
Rukia stood in the streets of Soul Society, talking with her best friend, Abarai Renji. "Renji."
The fashion master (only second to Kuchiki Byakuya) looked down at her, surprised at dreamy look in her eyes. "Aa."
"Byakuya has a really nice as—erm. I mean to say bottom."
Any passer-by who heard the raven-haired girl's comment would have promptly fainted. Fortunate for Renji, he was no common passer-by. Unfortunately, he was Byakuya's direct subordinate - his vice-captain. Thoughts started in his mind. Since when has Rukia and Kuchiki-taichou been on a first name basis? And how would she know that he has a nice ass? Was she checking him out! No. Renji, that is not possible. Get your head out of the gutter and focus. "R-Rukia, you're not serious, are you?"
With a dead serious face, she replied, "I do not tell lies. Would you like me to show you?"
If 'World Guiness World Records' were existent in Seireitei, Renji would have broken the record for the 'eye-bugging' section. His eyes bugged out 20 millimetres. The younger Kuchiki, taking his silence as a positive answer, dragged him the 5 blocks to the Kuchiki house. Literally. The girl carefully opened the door to her room and dumped Renji onto the ground. The vice-captain was still in shock.
A choking noise could be heard throughout the whole Kuchiki property, followed by a loud shout.
"YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU NAMED YOUR RABBIT BYAKUYA!"
"Hm?" Rukia hugged her toy rabbit tighter. Yes, Byakuya the rabbit really did have a nice bottom. So snugly. "What on Seireitei were you thinking, Renji?"
Hm. I wonder why Rukia's pet rabbit is on the floor? The stoic captain of the 6th Division daintily picked it up by the ear, as if it was something contagious and deposited it in her room. He took another glance at it, subconsciously noting that its backside seemed… cuddly. In the far distance, he swore he could hear his vice-captain's voice. And was he yelling something like "Rukia thinks Byakuya's ass is nice!"…?
So, how did you like it? Please review and tell me! Heheheh