Disclaimer: Not owned by me, unfortunately. That lucky person is Minekura Kazuya. I just play with her characters for fun.
A/N: A little Hakkai ficlet, some slight angst, with a hint of Gojyo/Hakkai thrown in for seasoning. In case you're wondering, I've never seen Hakkai touch anyone unless it was an emergency – Hakuryu/Jiipu notwithstanding. Yet Gojyo is always touching him….
The one thing that Cho Hakkai missed more than anything else was touch. Believing himself to be worthless because of his crimes, the converted youkai tried to never touch anyone any more than was absolutely necessary. Of course, being a healer meant he had to touch people occasionally, but he never initiated contact otherwise.
Sanzo respected his unvoiced wishes, and rarely touched him. Goku was more problematic, as the young youkai touched everyone as often as possible. Gojyo, on the other hand, always touched him. A simple touch to make sure he was unhurt, or a friendly arm slung over his shoulder was agony to Hakkai, who craved touch but refused to give into the desire to touch and be touched.
Waking from sleep, Hakkai tensed as he felt himself held close to a familiar body. Strong, graceful hands slowly caressed him; not sexually, but instead in a very soothing, yet sensual way. Hakkai held himself taut, refusing to give into the urge to relax and enjoy the sensation of hands on him.
"Would you loosen up?" rumbled Gojyo quietly. "You know you can't swindle me, Hakkai."
Hakkai said nothing, understanding what the kappa meant. With a soft sigh, he slowly let his muscles unknot, allowing himself to be touched. And more importantly, to actually allow himself to enjoy the attention Gojyo gave him.
Gojyo caressed and petted him, letting Hakkai feel the heat from his body as they lay together. Each touch soothed the rawness inside Hakkai's soul, and he drew a shuddering breath. A sense of calm stole over him as Gojyo's hands stilled and drew him into an embrace.
Hakkai couldn't admit how much these occasional moments with Gojyo actually meant to him. It was a peculiar form of love; Gojyo giving him the touches he craved, and for Hakkai to allow Gojyo to be the only one to relieve those cravings.
Turning in those arms, he caught a glimpse of startled crimson eyes that became pleased when he returned the hug. There was comfort here, in these arms, along with something else that Hakkai wasn't sure he was worthy enough for, but wanted anyway.
Maybe…one day he would be able to tell Gojyo that.