Sam blinked his eyes slowly and waited for the world to come into focus. The fact that he was naked registered immediately. He could feel the harshness of the pavement scraping against his ass cheeks and the rough wood of the telegraph pole pressed up against his back. There was a slight heart-stopping moment of panic before he pressed his fingers to his eyebrows and found them intact. He was further relieved to see his thatch of dark curly pubic hair was exactly where he had left it. Of course the fact that he could see it was of no relief whatsoever. He had been stripped and dumped in the middle of the night in the middle of God-only-knew-where, and when he found his brother he was going to make him pay. And pay. And pay.
It had seemed, as these things most often do, like a good idea at the time. A college bar serving cheap drinks, nothing in the vicinity to kill or maim and by the time Sam was on his fifth beer he was feeling pretty damn mellow and cursing the fact that there was never a karaoke machine around when he wanted one. Of course it was then that Dean had announced, to an equally drunk and exuberant crowd, that Sam was getting married in the morning. He wasn't of course and protested weakly but his protests fell on deaf ears and soon shots were being poured down his neck and Dean was telling people about Sam's beautiful fiancée, Mary. Mary Hinge.
And now here he was, several hours later, with the moonlight bouncing off his firm buttocks and his nipples standing proud and erect in the chill night air. He took in his surroundings; a residential tree-lined street. Not good. He cupped his genitals in his hands and set off at a trot along the street, staying close to the shadows and praying that no one would drive past. He ducked and weaved through well maintained front gardens, peering into the back yards in the hope that someone would have left their washing out.
Someone had. Unfortunately for Sam, that someone favoured pink shortie nighties with a fur trim. He grabbed the largest looking nightie from the line and tugged it on over his head. He wasn't sure if naked hadn't been better. His chest was bared by a plunging neckline and he could feel his penis poking out from underneath the short hemline. The ground was rough on his bare feet and he was unaccustomed to the sensation of a cool breeze blowing around his manhood, although it was, he had to admit, not entirely unpleasant.
He heard an engine in the distance and looked up to see a single headlight bearing down on him. This would not look good to anyone, a six foot four man in a pink nightie that left a good inch or more of his tenders exposed, but a biker was really not going to be sympathetic to his predicament. He darted behind a large bush and sucked in a sharp breath as its twigs poked and prodded him in sensitive places.
"Sam? Sammy?" Dean was shouting from inside the warmth of the Impala. Sam emerged cautiously from his hiding place and approached the car.
"Hello Princess." Dean said grinning, as Sam walked around and got in the car, feeling his bare ass stick uncomfortably to the leather seat. He tugged the hem of the nightie down to cover himself and glared at his brother.
"What the hell happened to you?" he shouted
"I got talking to this cute little blond chick and by the time I came to look for you, you were gone. I swear to God Sammy I never meant for this to happen." He would have been a whole more convincing Sam thought, if he hadn't been sniggering the whole time.
"If you leave an ass print on my leather I will never let you ride naked in my car again."
Sam paused and thought of a hundred and one likely comebacks, a hundred and one hateful and hurtful things he really wanted to say to his brother.
"You've got a headlight out." He said weakly as he tugged on his pants.