Title: Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

Title: Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

Author: Connie Welsh

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. Characters belong to J.K. Rowling and the song belongs to Panic! At the Disco.

Summary: Draco and Hermione were never supposed to be together, but on the day of Hermione's wedding to Ron, Draco just can't let go of their past. One-shot songfic.

Rating: R will suffice I think. There's a sex scene, but it's not very graphic. There's some language too, such as the all-insulting "F" word.

Author's Note: This has never been an issue before, but I suppose I should address the fact that while I do not object to criticism, I would like the opportunity to talk to the people who criticize me. Beastluuuvvverrrrrrr, if you are going to criticize me and ask me questions about what I write, please sign in so that I can send you a reply, or leave me an email so that I can contact you. Please contact me. That goes to everyone else too; please leave me some kind of contact information. Thanks!

Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?
Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he was worth it.
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin.

We were never supposed to be together. I knew that. You knew that. Yet no matter how many times we tried to tell each other, and ourselves, that it was the last time, somehow it always became "one more time".

Do you remember the first time I took you? The both of us covered in other people's blood, our bodies slick with it and our own sweat as we fucked on the hard floor of Potter's house? I was your first, yet you came for me. Do you remember how you cried out my name as you came? Do you think Weasley will be able to make you come like that when he takes you in your wedding bed tonight? Will he be able to get you wet with just a look, as I can?

No. Of this I am sure. And tonight, I will make you sure too.

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no, you know it will always just be, me

I wait patiently in the shadows of the church, waiting for my opportune moment. No one notices me; there are too many people and too much activity.

Finally, my opportune moment makes it appearance. I take it.

I slip quietly into your dressing room, and just for a moment I freeze, my breath knocked from my lungs as I see you standing in front of the mirror, looking so beautiful in your wedding gown.

But then you see me, and the look of shock on your face reminds me of what I'm here to do, and what I have come to say.

"Draco, what are you doing here!" you exclaim in a whisper, as if the whole world will hear you if you talk too loud.

"I should be asking you the same thing," I retort, the pent up anger in me starting to leak out.

Your eyes go cold, and you reply with an iciness I didn't know you possessed, "I'm getting married, and you have no business being here."

Instead of wounding me with your harsh words, they are the fuel I need to feed the fire of rage in me.

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

"Oh yes I do," I reply venomously, taking a step toward you, "I have much business here, being that it should be me you're going to meet at the alter!"

You take a step back, but bump into the mirror, left with no place to go.

"You and I ended a long time ago," you say, but your eyes are empty when you say it, damming up the real feelings you have on that subject.

"There was no ending!" I say angrily, "You picked up and left the instant the war ended, just throwing me away like some expired potion ingredient! No goodbye, no note, not even a nasty "fuck you"! Fucking nothing!"

Now that I've started to let all these dammed up feeling pour out, I couldn't stop them.

"I loved you Granger!" I blurt out, ashamed when my voice cracks, "I fucking loved you and you just disappeared! Are you happy? Knowing that you killed me?"

The look of surprise on your face is enough to momentarily stop me, make me swallow the tears of frustration perilously close to spilling out of me.

"Draco…" you begin softly, but I don't let you finish.

"No," I say firmly, "No, I don't want to hear any excuses, or any pity. There's just one thing I want to know from you, one question that I want you to answer."

I pause, taking a breath before asking my single question, "What was I to you? Was I just some stress relieving fuck to get through the hard times, or did you just feel bad for me? Were they all just mercy fucks Granger? Pious Gryffindor Granger, fucking all the poor soldiers of the revolution so they can go out and fight another day?"

So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus
In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?
(Let's pick up, pick up)

I was angry again, and I was glad.

You looked genuinely hurt at the accusations I've thrown at you, but then you reply strongly, the confidence finding its way back into your voice.

"How dare you think so low of me that I would stoop to fucking any poor soul that came my way? Is that all you see me as? Some kind of soldier whore?"

Then your voice cracks and I see tears welling in your eyes as you plunge on, "You were the only one I ever slept with. I haven't even slept with Ron yet because I'm afraid that if I sleep with him I won't be able to stop thinking about you. Wishing it was you kissing me, wishing it was you inside me! I loved you, all right! I've loved you so long I don't even remember when I first knew I loved you."

Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part
Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.
I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention.
Now let's not get selfish
Did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?

You suddenly sob and turn away from me, one arm hugging yourself and the other covering your eyes as your shoulders shake with suppressed tears.

All the fight left in me drains away upon seeing you like this, and I come over to you, standing close but not allowing myself to touch you.

"Then why did you leave?" I ask softly.

"Because I was afraid," you reply in a small voice, still watery with tears, "I was afraid of what I felt for you, I was afraid of being with you, I was afraid of how everyone else would take it, of how they would respond. I didn't want to lose the only friends I've ever had. I was so afraid of so many things that I tried to run away from all of it, to start something else, to try and forget you. But I couldn't. You constantly haunted me, in my dreams, in my thoughts. And I hated you for it."

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

I begin to cry silently, all the hurt I had pushed aside bubbling up inside me and overflowing in a rush of salty tears. And though I know that if I touch you now it will all be over for me, that any restraints I've put on my soul will come crashing down, I can't help myself from sliding my arms around your waist and pulling you backwards into me, pressing your back against me.

You surprise me by turning around and throwing your arms around me and kissing me. I pour my whole heart and soul into that kiss, into saying without words how much I love you, that I will always love you.

I'm not even conscious that my hands are moving over your body until you press my hands against your breasts through the lace of your wedding gown, moaning a little into my mouth when my hands reflexively cup your breasts, running my thumbs over your nipples.

I jump when I feel your hand cup me through my trousers, but the touch is not unwelcome.

Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster

Memories come rushing back, flashes of heated nights of making love as much as our bodies were able because it just felt good, because it was something to numb the pain of living yet remind us that we're real. The memories are so vivid that I have to break away from your mouth and pull you close just to stay on my feet. But you don't give me even a moment to collect myself before I feel your hands working my belt buckle and it's enough to clear my head of memories and kiss you fiercely.

I pick you up and press you against the mirror, working your dress up to your waist. My hand finds its way over your underwear and I groan when you're already soaking wet for me, and it's just too much, I have to have you now.

I slide inside you and my knees almost buckle because you feel so good and it's been so long.

There's nothing gentle or loving about the way we come together now. I suppose there's too much pain between us still that our loving-making couldn't be anything but hard and fast, all about release. Our hate, our love, our lust, our pain. Our fears, our tragedies, our joys, our hopes. All these things come together as we climb towards completion. I finally feel you tighten around me, biting hard on my shoulder to keep from crying out. The feel of you spilling over the edge around me makes me come so hard I see spots and my knees finally do collapse, both of us sliding down the mirror and into a trembling heap on the floor.

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no, you know it will always just be, me

In that moment I decide to dive recklessly and demand in a breathy pant, "Come away with me."

I feel you tense, and I pull back to look at your face. You're surprised and afraid and excited all at once, and I say it again, only this time as a question, one you can accept or deny, "Come away with me?"

I see the responsibility and the apprehension in your eyes and for a moment I regret putting you in this position, for making you make such a choice. But you never cease to amaze me.

"Yes." you say, breathily, as if surprised by your own answer.

I know we have a hard road ahead of us, and I know our union will anger a lot of people, but it's worth it. You're worth it. You're the only one that can make my heart beat, my lungs breathe, my world turn. What more could I ask for?

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?