Okay, I'm working on this and AST3K and a Naruto fan fiction as well, plus I'm in the school play so cut me some slack.
Pit: But you barely have a social life, you have plenty of time to write.
Rei-chan: Uh, while dragon chases Pit I'll say what needs to be said.
Disclaimer: Hylian dragoness owns nothing connected to Alice in wonderland or super smash brothers.
Chapter six: Pepper and the pig
As Pit walked up to the house and wondering what he would say, he noticed another figure making it's way as well. He looked it over from where he stood and thought it looked like a frog of some kind. The strange looking footman walked up to a just as strange two-dimensional looking person and handed him a note.
"For the duchess Peach, an invitation from the queen, to play croquet." He said,
The 2-D doorman took the note with a bored look. "From the queen, an invitation for the duchess Peach to play croquet." He sort of repeated.
"No," The frog footman replied, "An invitation to play croquet, for the duchess Peach, from the queen."
Pit glance at the two of them, unsure of what the heck they were saying.
"I've got the gist." The doorman said.
"You sure, GW?"
GW, (Pit was pretty sure that was his name now) nodded, "It's an invitation from the queen, for the duchess Peach to play croquet."
The footman sighed, "I wouldn't have put it like that, but it'll have to do." And he left.
'But they all meant the same thing.' Pit thought, he dismissed the thoughts he brought up as he walked up to the door.
The first thing he noticed was that there was someone yelling inside. He glanced around and noticed a doorbell and rang it, hoping that someone could hear.
After a moment of nothing he knocked on the door, several times.
"Won't do you any good knocking."
Pit spun around and saw the doorman standing there. "Why not?" He asked,
GW sighed, "Two good reasons." He said, "One, because I'm on the same side of the door as you."
Pit blinked, "I guess so."
"And two," The doorman continued "they're making so much noise on the inside no one can hear you."
Pit looked dumbstruck, "So how will I get in?"
GW looked thoughtful, "That does pose a question." He pondered, "A problem, you might even say a conundrum or riddle."
"Uh, I suppose so." Pit responded, unsure what to say.
"I could go and get a spare door, but that would take too long." Pit blinked as GW continued, "I've got it, you could knock and I could let you out!"
Pit face vaulted, "But I don't want to go out. I want to go in."
"Yes," GW responded, "But if you wanted to go out it would be much easier."
"But not the best way." Pit noted,
"True," GW agreed, "Meanwhile I'm going to sit here until tomorrow."
The door swung open and a plate flew out hitting a tree, scaring Pit half out of his mind.
"And the next day perhaps, an maybe the whole week. Then I'll come back by popular demand."
Pit moaned, "So what am I going to do?"
"I don't know. But I'll sit here and think of it while I sing, 'coming through the rye.'"
The angel sweat dropped as the 2-D doorman started to sing in a voice that sounded more like beeps. "I'll just have to get in myself." He muttered.
Pushing aside the door he marched in, it was a nice house. Pit followed a loud voice and found himself inside the kitchen. He noticed with some worry that the cook, a short man in a white coat, and how he was yelling.
"MORE PEPPER!" he shouted,
Pit turned and saw a young blonde woman nursing a baby in her arms, oblivious to it screaming.
Pit saw the cook pour pepper into the food he was making, he sneezed. Without warning the cook turned around and threw several cups and plates. They flew across the room and smashed against the wall. Pit ducked to avoid one and looked up at the ceiling. He saw a pink cat with big blue eyes grinning down at him.
"Um, could you tell me why your cat is grinning at me like that?" He asked, unnerved by the cat in question.
The woman (Who Pit presumed was the duchess Peach GW mentioned) looked up.
"He's a Cheshire puff cat." She said, "Those cats always grin."
Pit glanced back up at it. "I didn't know cat's could grin." Pit said,
"Well you don't know very much then do you?" Peach laughed, "Ain't that so Saturn-chan?"
The baby in her arms sneezed,
Pit frowned, Peach continued,
"My cook and I have had that cat for a while." She said, "I just call the cook 'doc' or Doctor because I don't recall his real name."
"Are you really a duchess?" Pit blurted out before he could stop himself,
"That would be telling." Peach said, "But I am."
As if on cue, Doc threw more dishes. One of which came close to hitting the baby Peach was holding.
"Careful!" Pit cried, "You almost hit his poor little nose!"
Peach just laughed, "Nonsense hon." She said, "He can already play 'three blind mice' on his nose."
Pit felt extremely uncomfortable as the two of them laughed and the baby cried.
"Could you please tell me how to get into the garden?" Pit asked, trying to push his awkwardness aside.
"Oh, now you're talking." Peach crowed, "But I prefer singing to talking don't you?"
Pit paled, he was not doing so well in the song department, and he did not want to have to embarrass himself in front of these people.
"Let's have us some song!" Peach cheered,
They all went silent, before Peach broke into song.
Speak roughly to the little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes.
He only does it to annoy,
Because he know it teases.
Pit could not have been more mortified, not only was she openly singing about child abuse, she was smiling the whole time. The angel shuddered as she continued,
I speak severely to my boy,
I beat him when he sneezes.
For he can thoroughly enjoy,
The pepper when it pleases!
Pit could not have been more pleased to hear the song end. And the whole time she was singing she was dancing about and spinning.
Pit started as she suddenly tossed the baby into Pit's arms; "Here you nurse him for a bit." She called, "I have an appointment. It can't wait!"
Pit looked over the Doctor who was spraying more pepper into his food and glanced over the spot Peach had danced off to, then at the baby he now held.
"I should get you out of here, they're sure to kill you." He said and ran out, avoiding the dishes thrown by the cook.
He marched out the door in a hurry, GW looked at him, "I thought you wanted to go in?" He said.
"I've been in, now I'm coming out." Pit called back.
"Life is so complicated." GW sighed,
A/N: I was going to end it here, but I'm going to keep writing. (By the way, yes the Cheshire cat is Jigglypuff AKA Purin)
As Pit walked with the baby down a grass path along the woods, he began to wonder what he was going to do with him.
"Maybe if I get back to the mansion I could let master hand find a home for him."
As he pondered, he noticed that Saturn was grunting and snorting. Pit tried to tell him to stop.
"You mustn't grunt like that." He said, "It sounds like you've become a pig."
He smiled at him, only to see that he had spoken too soon.
"You have turned into a pig!" He shouted, nearly dropping him. "I had best let you go."
He set the pig on the ground and watched as it walked back down the path.
"When he grows up he'll either be an ugly child or a handsome pig." Pit mused.
He stood up, brushed himself off and looked around. He had hit an intersection, and had no idea where to go.
He gazed upwards and saw the cat from the duchess's home in all its grinning glory up a tree. Pit walked up to it,
"Cheshire puff." He said,
The cat winked, "Please, call me Purin."
After everything that had happened that day, he was not surprised to hear it speak.
"Do you know which way to go?" the angel asked,
"Well, that depends on where you want to get to."
That made sense to Pit, "I want to get the garden." He said,
"Why do you want to go there?" Purin asked him,
Pit paused, why indeed? "It looks safe."
Purin looked at him with a smile slyer than before, "Sometimes thing that look safe turn out nasty." She said, "And things that look nasty, turn out safe. That's a moral."
Pit blinked, "Yes, well I would still like to know what's where."
"Well, a hatter lives over there." She pointed down one road, "Follow my pointing paw."
Pit was startled to see that the puff cat had vanished, only to reappear in a different tree.
"And a friend of his called hare, nicknamed Yoshi live there." She said, "They're probably having a tea party. They're both mad, and I mean crazy mad."
Pit faltered, "But I'd rather not meat mad people." He said,
"But dear, you can't help it." She said, "Everyone here is mad, I'm mad, you're mad. It's only by a chance and careful planning that you're not."
"How do you know I'm mad?" Pit asked, afraid that he missed something.
"Because you're here, and everyone here in mad." Purin said as she vanished again.
Pit waited for her to reappear, she did at another tree.
"I went to a hunt ball once, I didn't like it." She said, "Terrible people, they all started hunting me."
"How terrible for you." Pit said, unsure what else to say.
"Oh, but I grin and bear it." She laughed, "By the by, what became of the baby?"
Pit gulped and stuttered out, "He, he turned into a pig."
To the angel's surprise, the cat said, "I knew it would, it's the same with crows and more hens."
Pit had no time to ponder what she said, seeing as she vanished again. Pit spun around and looked for her. He felt a bit annoyed when she appeared again.
"Did you say, 'pig' or 'fig'?" She asked him
"I said 'Pig' Purin." He said, "And I would appreciate it if you didn't appear and disappear like that. You're making me very dizzy."
Purin laughed, "So sorry, is this better?" She vanished completely, and this time she did not return.
Pit sighed and decided to head down the path that led to the Hatter's place. As he walked down the road, he recalled something from before he even joined the smash brothers.
Back when he lived in Angel Land he would listen to music often, and his favorite song was one that a lot of people sang, but now he could not quite remember it.
"If only I could recall the words, if not the tune." He sighed to himself
Pit decided to try and recall the song to pass the time, as he did he could hear the angel chorus singing it in his head.
Which way shall you go?
Which way shall you take?
If you don't take any you make a mistake.
Which way shall you go?
Which way shall you take?
You must move on though you tremble and quake.
Okay, That should do it. I hope you liked this. Though I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
Pit: I don't get the pig part though.
Rei: It's a wonderland thing.
Dragon: Now please read and review to tell us what you think or if you have an idea that may help us. Because we'll listen and if it doesn't clash with what we've got planned out too much, we may put it into account.