NOTES: I've been planning this one for at least a week now. Once I looked at the lyrics to this song, I knew I couldn't NOT write about it. I whipped it up in an evening, I really hope you like it. Take time to leave a review, if you don't mind : )
Disclaimer: I don't own That '70s Show, or the song (Wasted Time) by the Eagles.
baby, there you stand
With your little head down in your hands
Oh my God, you can't believe it's happening again
Your baby's gone, and you're all alone,
And it looks like the end.
He left you. I heard he dumped you this morning, walked out without a word to explain his actions, though I can formulate my own conclusion. You didn't put out. You should've known his attraction to you was purely physical, that there was no way he was going to stick around if he got nothing but kisses and hugs out of it. I suppose it could be worse, though. You could've had sex with him just to get him to stay, because you were too afraid of being alone. You've been alone enough, now, I guess, what with Kelso running off to California, and me running off to Vegas (and marrying someone else), and you can handle it.
You shouldn't worry about it, don't waste your tears on him. He doesn't deserve you, anyways. You're smart, and you're strong, and you're beautiful, and you should have someone who will treat you well. Someone who can give you the life you always dreamed of. Even though your dreams have changed, I guess. You went from dreaming of grand halls and diamond splendours to just having someone to love. I like to think that change came because of me.
I don't know where he is now. Mourning his loss, maybe. Entertaining thoughts of what could have been. Wondering 'What if?'. What could have beens, and what ifs don't matter, though. If he was willing to leave you because you wouldn't give him sex, your future couldn't have been very bright. Not like our future could have been.
out on the street
And you're trying to remember,
How will you start it over,
You don't know if you can.
You don't care much for a stranger's touch,
But you can't hold your man.
You never thought you'd be alone
This far down the line
And I know what's been on your mind,
You're afraid it's all been wasted time.
You're starting over again. And that's exactly what it is, for you. Some people don't react to break ups, some just keep going as if it never happened. But the ones you love – or think you love – are such a big part of your life, that a change in their status, like from lover to friend, or even friend to stranger, affects your whole world. You'll get over him, and he won't be the worst of them. You never really loved him, I know that. He was just your rebound guy. From a relationship you never should have had to rebound from.
They say real life never turns out the way you envisioned, and I guess that's true. We all expected to be somewhere else, by now, maybe, like Donna and Forman, in college, or like you, married, or like me, in jail. It's funny how our views change as the years pass, how one choice can alter your plan for life. Or how one wrong decision can completely change everything.
I guess, for you, that choice was me. You wanted marriage and riches, dignity and class. And you got me. But as our relationship progressed, so did your dreams. Instead, you just wanted to marry someone who you loved, someone who loved you just as much. I did. I loved you. But we went wrong somewhere, or rather, I went wrong somewhere. And those years you spent with me, those years you spent with Kelso, the months you spent with Fez . . . you can't help but wonder, what purpose did they serve? You think you wasted those years with us, you think that they're nothing but a black hole in the warp of time.
autumn leaves have got you thinking
About the first time that you fell
You didn't love the boy too much,
No, no, you just loved the boy to well, farewell,
So you live from day to day,
And you dream about tomorrow
And the hours go by like minutes,
And the shadows come to stay
So you take a little something,
To make them go away.
And I could've done so many things, baby
If I could only stop my mind
Wonderin' what I left behind
If I'm worryin' 'bout this wasted time.
You ask yourself about the times with Kelso. Should you have stuck with him, someone loveable, someone you were comfortable with, someone you didn't really love. Being in like can't hurt you, and look where love got you – you loved me, and I ran away. But then, so did he. And Fez, too. We all discarded you, even if it was because of fear, jealousy, and an uncontrolled want for sex. Those aren't excuses, they're escapes. They're windows out, because we all wanted out. Kelso didn't want marriage. I didn't want commitment. Fez just . . . didn't care.
We haunt you, in your dreams. How could you go through three men, just like that, and have each one leave you in the dust. You ask yourself if you're really that bad of a person, you begin to question yourself, and your past, as your confidence falters.
I keep thinking about us. You and me. While she kisses me, I think about you. Watching TV, I think about you. Driving around town, you're on my mind. And I can't help the what could have beens and what ifs from taking over my head. Because I may not have wanted commitment, but I wanted you. And if it wasn't for my insecurities, my non trusting nature, I would've fought it. Because I loved you. And that was stronger than any fear I may have had.
love has come and gone,
And the years keep rushing on,
I remember what you told me
Before you went out on your own
"Sometimes to keep it together,
We got to leave it alone."
So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine.
And maybe someday you will find
That it wasn't really wasted time.
I just hope that you understand. Maybe we were supposed to be together. Maybe we weren't. But however it was supposed to be doesn't matter. We're opposing natures, you and I, and maybe that's why we fought so much. And it's also probably why we got along so well. But I wouldn't worry about your dreams not coming true, and don't try to tell yourself that you'll never find someone because three already ran, because it doesn't matter. Two of them aren't real men, anyways, and the third didn't - doesn't - know what he wants.
You'll find someone great, and you'll live the life you always dreamed you would. You're going to do great things, Jackie. I can only hope that one day, when you're sitting in your million dollar New York City apartment, and an old picture of us falls out of a book you didn't remember you had, you'll see it and smile. Because we were happy then.