Notes: So. Originally, Wasted Time was going to be a oneshot, but then I was listening to this song on my way to school one day, and I realised that it fit pretty well, but the only way I could write to it would be a depressing, angry sort of tone. And instead of doing two oneshots like that, I decided to combine them into one story, and maybe do a few more and wrap it all up. So that's what I did.

This song's "Empty Man" by Doc Walker. I can't find it anywhere on the internet, so if you want to listen to it, there's a 30 second preview in the iTunes store. It is quite a good song, though. I don't own the song or any of the characters/settings of That 70s Show.

Reviews are welcome :)

The blanket fell from the window
And let the sun shine in.
The hardest part of starting over
Is where to begin.

You know, as far as I can remember, you've always thrown yourself into our relationship. You left Kelso at the door when you walked into the basement that day, hell, maybe you left him even before that. But one thing I know for sure is that from that first day, there were no more real emotional ties between you two. Even though we both thought it was a fling, a no strings attached, no hidden costs sort of thing, and even though in the early stages of the whole deal, it didn't matter whether you were over him or not, you were. You may've had issues with it later, with "your boyfriend", but I clench my teeth and tell myself it was habit, and that it meant nothing. If I didn't, I would've gone insane.

And it may be a stretch, but wouldn't that indicate that there was something wrong with your relationship with Fez? I mean, besides the obvious. Would your ease in getting over Kelso not be transferable to me? And would it not have made moving onto Fez easy? If any of that makes sense. What I'm getting at is that if you got over Kelso so easily, it should've been the same for me.

And it wasn't, I know that for a fact.

But maybe they way it ended was for the best. We weren't going to go anywhere, not the way we were headed. In a different world, a different time, a different situation, we could've. But it wouldn't have worked out. At least with Sam, only one of us had their heart broken. The other just had to deal with liquor, the bright lights of Vegas, and a whole lot of guilt.

You wanted the world,
But it was more than I could give.
I fell short of expectations,
And that's just the way it is.

I'm not sure why you expected so much from me. Getting promises from a teenage boy with his whole life in front of him, and a whole future to have (whether he admits it or not) is not only extremely ambitious, it's also bordering on insanity. And you wouldn't have been happy with "together in the next couple years", either. You wanted promises of weddings, white picket fences, and kids. And I didn't know if I could, or was willing to, give that to you. And instead of not accepting the truth, you pushed me into saying either what you wanted to hear, or what you didn't want, so that you could "live your life". You never realized that you could live without a guy, that you could be independent, and rely solely on yourself.

And I wasn't going to say yes, and have to break it five years down the line, and I wasn't going to say no and regret it for the rest of my life.

Everything always had to be your way.

So just turn and walk away,
But don't let me hear you say
That I'm an empty man
Full of empty plans
You can't say I didn't try
I'm not an empty man.

Sometimes, I think I ruined everything. On those days, I usually feel guilty. I'm also usually drunk. Because, despite your innocent demeanor, I know the real story behind it. I know the story past the cried, "Steven married a stripper!", and I know that you were ultimately to blame. I know that you started pressuring me, and I know that you were the one to make the fatal mistake of "assuming" you knew me so well that you could "guess" my answer. Jackie, I get drunk. It's what I do. You knew that. You just wanted to create some drama in your life, create yourself a reason to get upset. Maybe you were actually testing to see how much I really wanted you. Maybe you never had any intentions of waiting for my answer, rather, you just wanted to find out for yourself. If I followed you, I saved you. Not only did I see a future with you, I was willing to get off my ass and do something for it.

But you screwed up. Somewhere along the line, your brilliant plan failed, and Kelso re-entered the situation. Maybe you figured you had waited too long, and I was never going to show up, and you may as well settle for some consolation sex.

Maybe you figured a lot of things.

It's the first day of summer
And there's a cool wind blowing in.
A solid year of that weather
Is wearing me thin.
And the stories of my weakness
Are starting to get old
So go find the man you thought I should've been
Because tonight it's getting cold.

But when you came home again, once you realized that maybe you had screwed up, maybe I wasn't to blame at all, you found out that one mistake led to another, and that I was married. With no intentions of turning back, apparently.

And that's when it really started. That's when you began full fledged warfare. Suddenly, everyone began to overlook your mistakes and focus on the ones made by me. Suddenly, just because I was the one who committed the bigger crime, I was the real criminal and you were innocent. Suddenly, I was the asshole, and you just let everyone believe it. Hell, you believed it yourself.

It doesn't even bother me that you find me at fault. What drives me insane is that you don't realize that you were part of the problem. You never accepted that it wasn't only me who screwed up – you did too. And I never made you pay. Not like the summer when you compared me to Kelso, not like the time you took off to Chicago without letting me have my say, and not like the time you went and fucked Kelso because "you knew my answer". Every time you screwed up, I took you back. Every single time.

Except the last.

So just turn and walk away,
But don't let me hear you say
That I'm an empty man
Full of empty plans
Just because you're not satisfied
Doesn't mean I didn't try
I'm not an empty man.

So when you talk about our failed relationship, please remember that you had some hand in destroying it, and that I actually really liked you.

I tried, Jackie. I really did.


The blanket fell from the window.