Yutori no Kagami

Behind the Darkness- Break

The feathers fall from soot blackened wings

Wings so large they eclipse the sun

'I wish to kill all who blackened my feathers,' it sings

'I won't stop until my deed is done

You life is mine to take

Even if one day I should BREAK'

Nadare- Fire Bird's Flight except


He awoke that morning to the sound of the alarm clock and just lay there for a moment, disoriented, before he allowed himself to reach over and shut it off. Fragments of thoughts drifted in and out of his mind, foremost the Sora issue that seemed to torment him. He wanted to- no needed to become Sora. He already had his body, but how to pull off… Sora? He knew nothing of the boy's habits and he longed to put Riku at ease.


Blue eyes drifted to the window where the morning sun was just starting to peak out over the horizon. The boy was something else entirely. At first he disliked him for the things he did, and then he had had this whole change of heart… Were these really his feelings? Or was this the way Sora really felt about Riku?

Aquamarine eyes looked at him from beneath silver bangs with a soft longing that made his heart ache.

He shook his head, he didn't feel the same way about Riku, and he'd said it himself. The boy didn't understand his feelings…

"Why, Sora? Why don't you understand how much I…"

His heart clenched, he didn't understand anything, why did his heart hurt so much?

What exactly was he feeling?

He sighed and placed a hand to his chest and felt the steady beating of a heart. He looked at his hand, seeing and yet not seeing, listening, feeling the thump of it beneath fingertips.

Thump thump…

It was so calm, so relaxed. It gave nothing away within its locked confines.

Thump thump…

If only he could see within it. See what was so special about this boy that drew so many to him.

Thump thump…

If only he had a key… a key to unlock his heart…

Thump thump… Thump thump…

He closed his eyes momentarily and glanced over at the nightstand, noting the time and groaning. He sat up then, yawning a little and moving to check if he had new wounds, he paused as he ran a hand over his arm. He blinked and looked down towards his fingers, expecting to see dried blood and a new gash- his sense of touch must surely be wrong- but all he found smooth skin. The scabs were gone and the only things left were the thin white lines; ghosts of scars.

He trailed his fingers along them again just to make sure he wasn't imagining things and moved his hands to some of the other scars, feeling the smooth new skin. He could tell they had disappeared from his back as well, as the scabs would have stretched and ripped when he reached too far. He didn't understand it.

Scabs don't just disappear in one night… do they?

He swung his feet over the side of the bed then, the thin white ankle socks keeping his feet warm as he touched the cool wood of his floor. He felt strange, but he blamed the lack of scabs for him feeling this way and shrugged it off, moving to the bathroom after he stood.

When his feet hit the plush navy blue of the oval shaped bathroom rug, he realized with a jolt that this was the first time that Squall did not need to help him in the act of bathing. He was also relieved as well, he liked his privacy, though he didn't know if Sora did as well.

He also didn't know if Sora liked to streak around the house stark naked, but that was for another time to consider.

He carefully washed his skin with delicate strokes, afraid that if he rubbed too hard, he'd rip the newly healed over skin. When he was sure he was clean, he pulled the stopper and stood, grabbing a towel to dry himself with. He didn't dare wash his hair today, for fear of accidentally bleaching it somehow.

He didn't think Squall would like that…

As he wondered about the possibilities of him getting away with stark white hair unnoticed, Olette knocked gently on the door, warning him that he only had a few more moments left before they had to leave for school. He scowled at the door for a moment (which coincidentally had a rather large poster of Nadare taped to the back of it) before glancing at the dressers and closet.

"Okay… I'll be down… in a few…" he answered, pausing in his normal way as he moved towards the closet to begin his search for the discarded uniform.

Little did he know that said uniform was shoved quite hazardously under the bed.

-------0.Xatti -------

They'd walked to school again that day, but this time (much to his disappointment) it hadn't been raining. He looked up at the gray storm clouds just bursting to put forth some rain as the sun shone faintly from behind them and gave a small sniffle. He felt hot. Funny, this morning he was perfectly fine…

Olette glanced up at him as he gave a more noticeable sniffle and swiped at his nostrils, clearly uncomfortable. If she remembered correctly, (she used to zone out on these walks or otherwise drift off to walk with her own friends) Sora used to get the Sniffles during these months.

"You okay?" she asked, just to make sure he was feeling fine, green eyes settled upon his face as he turned to look at her with puffy eyes, "You look awful."

He gave a giant sniff and fixed her with a glare. He felt fine, who was she to tell him how he looked?

"I'm fine," he muttered, turning his attention to a left over puddle.

He liked the way water reflected things, it was almost like…

"Are you sure?"

He ripped his eyes from the puddle as he splashed through it, looking to her in annoyance.

"Yes, I'm sure."

…A mirror.

"If you say so, Skye…"

There was silence the rest of the walk, the sky growing ever darker as the clouds readied to free themselves of their burden.

-------0.Xatti -------

"You should go to the nurse's office…" the younger brunette suggested as she studied her brother's face anxiously.

Blues eyes swiveled to the girl in a too pale face, he was nearly as pale as a sheet, but that didn't stop there. His lips were dry and he tried in vain to restore their proper moisture, his mouth like cotton and not much saliva to go upon. He also felt a tad bit nauseous, but that could have added that unhealthy green tinge there as well.

She raised a hand to touch his forehead, brushing his bangs back as he winced at her proximity. A second passed before she yanked it back in alarm, the boy was burning up!

"Sora… can you hear me?" Olette asked softly, not yet knowing if he had a headache or not.

He gave a curt nod and scowled, who was this girl to touch him thusly?

She was that Sora's sister, a part of his mind supplied.

'That' Sora?

Yes… it hissed again. The old Sora…


"What?" the scowl grew ever deeper upon his youthful visage, clearly aggravated already.

"Do you need to go to the nurse?" she questioned, taking his scowl for a look of pain, "you really don't look too good."

He felt his eyes narrow as she moved to grip his arm, her slender fingers wrapping around the small bicep gently, before he wrenched his arm out of her grasp. Green eyes widened as he started to move away, albeit labored and sluggish.


"I'm fine…" he cut in rudely, not even looking back as he made his way to class, his anger pushing all that he felt away for the moment.

She could feel the hot tears in her eyes as she turned, shooting a last concerned look at the back of her beloved brother's back, before moving along to her own class. She held them back with a great effort and smiled as she entered her classroom.

'Sora… what's wrong?'

The clouds burst, heavy raindrops falling upon all who failed to take shelter in time.

-------0.Xatti -------

He'd used the walls as support as he moved to class, he was lucky it was on the first floor. The trip had been exhausting, and by the time he'd shoved open the sliding door, he was breathing quite hard for a short trek down the hallway. He lifted his eyes and found that he was barely able to see straight. Great… was that girl- Olette- correct? Was this what they called an illness?

"You look awful."

He scowled. The fact that he wanted nothing more than to lie down solidified the fact that she had been correct.

Glancing behind him as he clung to the doorway, he debated whether or not to take her advice. It would seem foolish to pretend he was well when he was not. But where was the nurse's office? He really didn't want to pass out and have a repeat of yesterday…

Shoulder length silver hair tickled his cheeks as the he leaned over him, breath ghosting against his lips.

"Yo, Leonheart!" a boisterous voice called, breaking him from his musings and startling him greatly. He only just managed to keep the bile down and turned back to look at the source of the voice, eyebrow rising in curiosity.

He was met with a young man, possibly a slight few months older than he. He was lanky and had the brightest colored hair he'd ever seen. Flame red strands were pushed back from his face and done in spikes that seemed to fit his person. Emerald green eyes sparked with amusement as he waved, eyes trained on the boy he'd addressed.

He sniffed a little and glared, his voice sounding weak to his own ears as he spoke, answering only because it would be deemed rude if he didn't.

"What… do you want…?" he paused, he didn't know the boy's name.

"Ichida, Ichida, Ale. Got it memorized?" the boy grinned, tapping the side of his forehead before continuing, "I heard you got molested by Kinusaya, is it true?"

At the mention of that name, he froze, green eyes and silver hair making it to the forefront of his mind. Kadaj's smile and his pale skin alighted within his mind and he visibly shivered. But before he even looked again to the gangly youth, whispers erupted all around him, centered upon he, Ale, and the Kinusaya. Though which one, was lost to him.

"Has Ale ever talked to Sora before?"

Long plaint fingers ghosted along his arms as Kadaj planted a searing kiss to his lips.


He wrenched himself away when he felt those same fingers start to head southward.

"Ale is so hot!"

He yelled as the other boy threw him to the ground, pinning him there as he planted another kiss to unwilling lips.

"I think Sora's cuter…"

He pushed Kadaj away and scrambled to stand, only to be slammed into the brick wall.

"Don't let Riku hear that!"

The tears that slipped from his eyes were ignored by Kadaj as he kissed him again, harder and more urgently.

"Sora? The Leonheart kid?"

Before he knew it, the boy was pressed flush against him as he struggled, something hard rubbing against his thigh.

"Wait… Kinusaya…?"

He begged the boy to stop as he jammed a hand between his boxers, clasping his member and squeezing.

"Which one?"

He screamed against Kadaj's lips, looking over his shoulder to see a murderous looking Riku followed by a frightened Kairi.

"Shh, I can't hear!"

"What… do you mean…?" he asked slowly, aware that the whispers had lessened to dull murmurs. He shook his head of the memory and tried to remain calm.

Ale's eyes glinted, though whether that was a good or bad thing was lost to him. He didn't know the boy, and he didn't particularly feel all that eager to.

"Ya know what I mean, Leonheart-kun," the red head grinned, dusting off his dark blue uniform, "Kadaj."

His insides froze as soon as the name was uttered. Was he here? A quick glance around the room told him no, he didn't relax though.

"What about Kadaj?" a familiar voice questioned, frosty and cool.

He turned and saw Riku in beside him in the doorway, the silver of his hair braided along the back of his raincoat. He looked impeccable in his uniform, every bit the rich pretty boy in looks. Anger clouded those beautiful irises and it made something clench in his chest as his cheeks heated a little.

Aquamarines met his and the anger disappeared for the moment as he gave a small smile. His smile meant he was safe. It meant that he was cared for… Those eyes returned again to the pouting red head and the anger returned.

"Now, what were you saying, Ichida?" Riku questioned, eyes like crystals. The whispers were immediately silenced at the venom in his voice.

Despite his attitude, Ale knew not to try anything smart around a Kinusaya, especially Riku. Instead he shrugged and turned his attention to a nearby window, pouting still.

His lips lifted a little as Riku turned to him again. What was this feeling in his chest? He'd never felt anything like this before? Was this…



He was unconscious before he hit the ground.

-------0.Xatti -------

I awoke to the feeling of warmth… intense warmth that seemed to burn. I sat up with a short yell and looked at my fingers, checking for the blisters that I was sure to be there. But there were none, no matter how hard I looked, what the Hell had-?

"It'S tImE, sOrA. hE hAs CoMe," a voice whispered in my ear, making me jump and yell again.

I clutched at my chest and glared at the being that had done such a good job in scaring the bejeezes out of me. Shadow. That was my name for him since yesterday…

"I lOvE yOu, SoRa."

I felt my cheeks heat as I remembered those words… what had brought them on? Surely… surely he couldn't really have these feelings for me.

It was just too weird.

"SoRa." Shadow called, his voice shaky, not at all as confidant as before. It made me pause and look up at him, the earlier pain receding into nonexistence.

"What, Shadow? What is it?" I asked, thankful that my wayward mind finally got it into gear.

He looked at me funny at the name, curiosity overwriting fear for the moment. Ha! So I'm not the only one who gets distracted easily. He shook his head then, raven spikes bouncing a little before he fixed me with a look that had me swallowing saliva.

"We DoN't HaVe AnYmOrE tImE lEfT, sOrA. hE iS nEaRlY uPoN uS," he whispered, the earlier fear was back and it unnerved me that such a powerful… whatever he was, was afraid.

But afraid of what?

"Who is he?" I asked, my complete attention on him. He was a nervous guy when he was frightened, that was sure, he kept on looking to the ceiling and then to me, ceiling, me, ceiling…

His head swiveled to me so fast that I was afraid it would fall off, that REALLY wouldn't be cool it that happened, and said, his golden eyes locking with my own, "ThE sSeNkRaD."

I could feel my eye twitch. Okay…

"Could you say that last word in a way I could understand?"(1) I asked, gesturing vaguely with my hands in annoyance. I was never really all that good on those stupid radio-guessing things.

Shadow looked at me for a moment before I saw his eyes crinkle slightly, he was smiling. He extended a claw, and for a wild moment, I thought he was going to attack me. Instead, he touched it to a mirror's surface and I cringed.


My hands flew to my ears, and I groaned. He could have warned me!


I cracked an eye open and looked at what was written there after a few moments of blissful silence, I felt my eyes widen.




He nodded, before he spoke again, "Or ShOuLd I sAy… YoUr SsEnKrAd."


Before anything else could happen, there was a loud crack, follow swiftly by the breaking of glass. I looked up and was met by… myself?

I… he fell through the air quickly. So fast that he was almost blurred. But as he neared the ground, shadows (not that shadow… clouds more like it) seemed to bloom from everywhere to cushion his fall. When he landed, they dispersed as he sank ever deeper within the dark cloud. When they were no more, he was left lying on the mirrors, untouched by that amount of darkness.

How could that be?

I took a tentative step forward, one that I only realized I was doing when Shadow pushed me behind him, and I stumbled from the force he put into it, his eyes narrowed as he turned his head towards me. When I caught my balance, I glared, opening my mouth to tell him off.


My mouth snapped shut before I looked to the person lying on the mirror, refusing to look at Shadow. He looked over to the boy as well, curiosity at what was distracting me eating at his mind I imagine, and the boy moved a little, his head rolling to the side. A few moments later, he placed a hand to his head and sat up carefully.

"Where… am I…?" he asked, voice- my voice- thick with confusion.

Can this Darkness as Shadow called it, get confused? I doubted it, something that Shadow was afraid of had to be all-knowing and all powerful. Not at all like the person before me on the mirrors, his fear was laughable.

This couldn't be what he had warned me about.

I glanced to Shadow before making up my mind. I dashed out towards the other me before he even realized that I had moved. I could feel the ghost of claws on my fingers but he couldn't get a good grip. I looked back and saw his outstretched hand as I slowed down.



I stopped and turned to face the person before me and gasped, he really WAS me…! Right down to that almost unnoticeable scar on my left cheek that Riku had given me in Kendo class. I was drawn to his blue eyes and felt a tingle of fear spark up my spine.

But why…?

"You are… Sora?" he asked, his voice close to a low whisper.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and inclined my head slightly, I didn't trust myself to speak. I shouldn't be this afraid to talk to myself unless this was my doppelganger. But by the way he was acting, he didn't wish me any harm. It was ridiculous, if anything, I should fear the being behind me, not the perfectly innocent boy sitting before me.

"Yes… yes I am."

His lips parted so that his tongue could dart out to lick his lips in a nervous gesture, breaking his gaze away from mine to look at the mirrors that lined the room in which we stood. I let out a little breath of relief that I hadn't realized I was holding before he spoke once more, his intent blue eyes- my eyes- upon me once more.

"So… you are the reason… the reason why Riku cannot… will not see me for who I am…"

I noticed then that the pauses in his speech were no longer present like in the real world. His words fell more fluidly from his lips than mine ever could, and his voice held a hint of danger. I didn't like it and I felt myself take a step back. I looked at him carefully after the fear had taken root in me once more and I found that his hair was a shade or two darker than it had been a few moments ago, and it was still growing darker. Soon, it would be completely black.

I wasn't so sure if I wanted that to finish happening.

"What do you mean?" I was glad that the stutters were not present this time.

My gaze moved to his face and I took another step back. His eyes were sea green and were turning steadily more yellow, just like Shadow's.

Now I wish that I had headed his warning.

"You are the reason, SoRa, why RiKu won't love me. He loves you, SoRa."

I blinked and glanced back at Shadow, confused and more than a little scared. The distortion in his voice was noticeable and quite a bit disconcerting. I looked back at him again, clearly confused.

"What are you talking about? You are… me…"

I trailed off at that moment because his eyes were completely yellow now, even the white of his eyes were. There was no telling what he was looking at now, but I was pretty damned sure he was looking right at me. His skin grew darker and it made me briefly swear off any further musings of ever becoming ganguro (2).

"Or I will be… as soon as I kill YoU."

Huge black dragon- like wings erupted from his back as he stood. He gripped his shirt (and skin I might add) ruthlessly before pulling outward, ripping the guise of his human appearance as though it were paper. He donned the darkness like it was nothing and gave an eerie smile, his golden eyes crinkling in mirth. He was similar in appearance to Shadow, but there were some differences.

There were blueish violet markings on his cheeks just below his eyes that twisted and curved. His skin tone was the same, but the clothes weren't. His jumpsuit had more straps and the jacket he wore was longer in the back. The jumpsuit had a hole in it showing off his belly button that also had markings swirling around it. His clothing also had red in it, making it very noticeable.

I took a step back and he was already upon me, amber eyes blazing as his hand moved towards my chest, his fingers seeming to itch as they drew ever closer. I gasped and tried to move, but it was too late, he was too close, and I shut my eyes tightly, bracing myself for the blow. But…

It never came.

Instead I was shoved aside so hard that my head snapped violently to the side. I hit the floor hard and skidded a few feet, the initial mirror I landed on cracking a little. I grunted and shook my head wearily, trying to push away the disorientation that I felt. When I deemed it safe enough for me to move, I looked up to see just what the hell had done that to me, my eyes widening in horror at what I saw.

The Darkness, as Shadow called it, had a hand through the shade's chest, his claws dripping with a liquid so dark that I was sure it couldn't come from a living being's body. The droplets that touched the floor sat in motionless puddles in which dark smoke drifted lazily from them. The Darkness paused, his eyes narrowing and looking to me as he started to slide his hand out. He sneered, but it turned into a snarl as he realized that Shadow had gripped the appendage and didn't seem to have any intention of letting go.

"WhY dO yOu StOp Me, LeSsEr?" he questioned, looking back to Shadow as if he were stupid and in the wrong, "He Is LiGhT, tHe OnE wHo BaNiShEd Us To ReSiDe WiThIn DaRkNeSs."

"No… He Is SoRa…," Shadow whispered, turning slightly to look at me, his breathing ragged, "AnD yOu ArE-"

"EnOuGh!" The Darkness roared, flinging him to the side and launching Shadow across the room and into a mirrored wall. He hit the mirror hard, cracking the polished surface with the impact. His eyes widened in shock and pain before they narrowed again, the black liquid pouring from his chest wound more quickly.

I took a step forward, but the look Shadow gave me froze me in place. I could FEEL the protectiveness rising off him in waves and his voice came to my ears, distorted but with so much emotion that The Darkness turned to look at him in confusion.

"ThE dOoR iS sTiLl ShUt."

I felt my mouth open but I was heedless to stop it, the words falling from my lips were not of my own mind.

"…It's a lock that hinders."

"A kEy OpEnS dOoRs…"

"…to reveal the light that lingers."

"A wOrLd In BeTwEeN…"

"…balances saints and sinners."

"A wOrLd Of BaLaNcE…"

"…Light and Darkness…"



The darkness screamed as everything went white, the soft caressing of feathers on my skin making me sigh as a voice whispered to me.


-------0.Xatti -------

He shot up in the bed, his eyes wide and confused, 'what the Hell was that? Was that a dream? That felt too damn real to be a dream! But wait…' he paused in his thoughts as the whiteness of the room met his confused gaze.

Where was he?

"Sora?" Riku asked when he heard the movement on the other side of the curtain, "Sora! Are you okay?"

He blinked in confusion, wondering why his friend would ask such a question when it was obvious he was okay, "C'mon, Riku, when am I not okay? I mean sure that time you hit me with that baseball was a different story, but- hey!"

He very nearly jumped when his friend had embraced him in a hug, charging from the other side of the curtains to do so. He blinked at the boy in confusion before taking in the sight of the room on the other side of the curtains. He was in the nurse's office.

But why?

"Um… why am I in the nurse's office, Riku?" Sora asked in confusion, hoping that Riku would let go soon, "I don't remember anything that warranted a trip to the infirmary… this year."

Riku pulled away a little, arms resting loosely about the other boy's waist, not really wanting to let go just yet, "You fainted. But that doesn't really matter."

Sora's right eyebrow twitched and felt a small pang of anger that Riku didn't really care about his health. Granted that his clumsiness did land him here more than enough when they were younger. So he let it go this time.

At least until he found out what the heck was going on.

"I didn't mean it like that," Riku amended quickly, seeing the look on the brunette's face before continuing, "I want to know if it's really you, Sora. Or…?" he trailed off, hoping that the boy had been returned to him at last.

Blue eyes looked at him, his nose scrunched up cutely before tilting his head to the side, a gesture that showed him that his Sora was confused.

"Of course it is," Sora said, a smile stretching his lips easily, it didn't matter if Riku was acting weird, "Who else would I be?"

He was denied an answer when the silver haired boy wrapped his arms around his torso a second time and he had the grace to blush. Okay… Riku giving him bodily contact was rare… but being hugged was new. Not to mention twice in the span of five minutes.

What the Hell happened?


"You're back, Sora…"

No he was really confused. Had he gone somewhere?

"I never left, Riku."

-------0.Xatti -------

1. You know on those stupid radio contest thingies that they play the song backwards, that was what he was hearing, but more distorted.

2. Ganguro: a very tanned person in Japan, popular in teenagers, if any of you have read Peach Girl, they've accused Momo of being one. And also in .Hack/ Twilight bracelet, Aura's daughter accused Shugo's sister of being one as well.

Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I love you all for reviewing! (hugs and kisses for everyone) Oh! Before I forget… I should have up a picture of The Darkness to show you all how I made him look, the link will be in my profile! So until next time, Chao!