Hey, here's the final chapter of Do the Dew. Most of y'all agreed that the first chapter was the best, but my muses just wouldn't leave me alone. I have to tell you though, this one isn't as funny as the first two, mainly due to the fact that this takes place when the war against Voldemort is at its peak. It's still got its funny moments, so please enjoy it.

Summery: Sirius gets into the Dew on Harry's birthday! Also, a special ending that ties into Prisoner of Azkaban.

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I also don't own Mountain Dew or its trademark slogan. Period, end of story, goodbye. Well, not yet. Please read first.


Part III: A Birthday Dew Remember

"Hey, Harry! Harry!" Sirius leaned over the edge of the playpen that held his godson, Harry. Harry giggled as he looked up.

"Pafoo!" he demanded. Sirius obliged and turned into the huge black dog that Harry loved to play fetch with. Harry laughed as Padfoot, on his hind legs, allowed Harry to scratch his nose.

It was July 31st, 1981, Harry's first birthday. Sirius and Remus had been invited over to Godric's Hollow, the Potters' "safe house." Because of a prophecy made about a boy born at the end of July who would defeat Voldemort, the Potters had had to shelter themselves to keep the possibility of their child dying if Voldemort came to get him.

James walked by the nursery at the moment and poked his head in. "Padfoot!" he demanded, causing said dog to yelp and jump back on all fours onto the ground. "If Lily catches you inside Harry's playpen again, she's gonna hit your butt with a frying pan, human or dog!"

Padfoot's tail tucked between his legs, and he whined softly.

"Don't give me, that!" chided James. "Lily needs some help in the kitchen with Harry's birthday cake, so–" James was cut off as Padfoot raced past him, barking. He heard him change back at the foot of the stairs. James sighed. Other than the infamous Mountain Dew, the only vulnerability Sirius had was sweets of any kind.

James entered the kitchen with Harry on his hip to find Sirius hopping around, trying to help Lily, but ending up being more underfoot than helpful. Remus was passed out at the kitchen table. The full moon was in a week and the werewolf was beginning to feel the strains.

"Mommy!" squealed Harry. He reached out for her, but she was busy. Lily had been losing weight ever since they went into hiding, but she tried to keep a smile on her face every day.

Lily set the cake on the table and accepted Harry. "So, who gets to cut the cake?"

James nudged Sirius, who nudged Remus, causing him to wake up with a "Hm?"

"The cake, Remus?" repeated Lily.

"Oh, right." Remus cut the cake and handed out the pieces. It was a small cake, but as it was only the five of them, it didn't need to be any bigger.

After they had finished and put Harry to bed, James pulled out a deck of cards and asked, "Anyone wanna play?"

"James Potter!" scolded Lily. "You know better than to play cards in front of me. Go in the front room and play."

"Yes, ma'am," said Remus. He and James quickly moved out of the kitchen, and Lily went upstairs to check on Harry, who had started crying again.

Sirius made his move. He had a craving for Mountain Dew, and he knew that James always kept a bottle or two in the fridge. He opened the fridge and, lo and behold, there were indeed two bottles of the volatile drink in it. Sirius grinned and grabbed a bottle. It was one of the 20oz. bottles, and Sirius unscrewed the top and sighed, letting the bubbles rush up through his nose. It had been two months since he had had any Mountain Dew. The local shopping market had refused to sell Sirius any after he had made a ruckus trying to figure out how to pay for the sodas. It had only been a dozen of the 12-packs, but they had acted like he was trying to cheat them out of their money.

James and Remus walked back in the kitchen to get themselves something to drink just as Sirius threw his head back and drank the Dew.

"Sirius!" they both shouted. Sirius began to shake, the caffeine hitting bottom.

"Oh, yeah!" Sirius shouted. "Whoo!"

The two Marauders were dumbstruck. It looked like Sirius just about had control over his Mountain Dew addiction. Or at least the reaction.

"I feel great!" shouted Sirius. "So great!"

"Silencio!" said James. Instantly, Sirius was silenced, but he continued to open and close his mouth, apparently not registering his lack of vocal usage.

"How did he know the Dew was in there?" asked Remus as Sirius gabbled soundlessly to himself.

"Well, he knows I like it, so he must've figured there was some in there."

Sirius began walking around the room, making wild gestures, all the world looking like a wild lunatic.

"Shall we just sit down, lock the doors and let him get over it?" asked James.

"I reckon," sighed Remus. "He drank about, what, half of that bottle?"

"Yeah, he really hit it good this time." James watched in amusement as Sirius turned into Padfoot, who immediately rushed out the doggy door James had installed as a practical joke. James had forgotten to lock it.

"Think of it this way, Sirius," James had said. "Now you can slip in or out all the time and it won't be thought of as unusual by anyone who happens to see you."

James and Remus followed Sirius out to the wide field behind the house. A small hill separated them from a small village in the valley below.

"Wait right here," said James. He left Remus standing there, watching Padfoot play with his tail. Minutes later, James came back, a white ball in his hands.

"What's that?"

"Oh, Muggles call it a soccer ball." James showed him a few moves he had learned when Lily insisted they watch a game.

"It's educating!" she had said. "A way to learn how they play their games."

"Hey, Padfoot, get the ball!" James kicked it and sent it flying well over thirty feet. Lily didn't know, but the ball had had a few Quidditch-related charms put on it, including a Pennifold Charm so it could be caught midair. Minutes later, Padfoot came back, the ball clutched limply in his jaws.

"Uh, was that supposed to happen?" asked Remus.

"No," said James, prodding the ball with his wand. "Reparo! There!" The now fixed and inflated ball was once again kicked and once again fetched. This happened for hours.

When Lily came out at daybreak, paralyzed with fear, she found the three men in a pile, sound asleep. She woke them up by kicking James, who prodded Remus, who slapped Sirius.

"So…" she started, her face starting to equal her hair.

"Morning, Lily," Remus said as jovially as he could, evidently hoping to avoid Lily's wrath.

"How dare you!" she hissed. "You could've have revealed our home!"

"It wasn't my fault, honest!" said James, throwing up his hands in self defense.

"In, in!" she said, prodding the three with her wand. Sparks flew out of the end and, Remus was forced to put out his pants.

The men collapsed at the table as Lily leaned over them, seeming to make the men feel as if they were mice.

"Will somebody explain how on earth you three ended up in the middle of the field?" she asked lowly but dangerously.

Sirius gulped, figuring he'd better explain. "Do you remember the sort of reaction I have to Mountain Dew?" Lily nodded. "Well, I sort of sneaked one from the fridge last night." Sirius went on to tell Lily about what had happened. Finally he reached the end and awaited her verdict.

"From now on," she finally said, "there will be no Mountain Dew in this house. Ever. Again. Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," said the Marauders meekly.

"Good. Now go shower and get to work."

"All of us?" asked Sirius innocently. "At the same time?"

Lily's response was a frying pan aimed at his rear.


Sirius Black raised his head as he heard a clanking sound. Azkaban had been his prison for 12 years, and he was there only because he had been framed. Warm memories of the nights he had sneaked Mountain Dew came to him, only to be drained out by a passing dementor. Merlin, he hated those things. The only thing that allowed him to keep his sanity was that he remembered he was innocent. Technically, it wasn't a happy memory, more like a fact, so the dementors could not suck it out. Otherwise, he'd've gone mad a long time ago.

For the first time in forever, footsteps approached his cell and stopped.

"Come to pay me a visit, Minister?" joked Sirius.

Cornelius Fudge frowned, and Sirius smiled.

"Don't worry, Minister, I'm not totally mental."

"I'm just here for my yearly inspection, Black."

"Aw, that's a shame. Hey, do you have a newspaper?"


"Well, I'm really bored in here. The crossword was always the best part, and I do miss doing them."

Fudge looked at Sirius like he had truly gone mad before slipping the folded newspaper through the bars. Sirius picked it off the floor and relaxed on his cot with it.

"Thanks, Minister. You just made my day." Sirius picked it up and looked at the front page as the Minister continued on his rounds without another word. The article on the front had caught his attention:


Arthur Weasley, Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office at the Ministry
of Magic, has won the annual Daily Prophet Grand Prize Galleon Draw.

A delighted Mr. Weasley told the Daily Prophet, "We will be spending the gold on a summer holiday in Egypt, where our eldest son, Bill, works as a curse breaker for Gringotts Wizarding Bank."

The Weasley family will be spending a month in Egypt, returning for the start of the new school year at Hogwarts, which five of the Weasley children currently attend.

Sirius chuckled. He couldn't think of anyone better to win that money. Arthur had always been a good man, and when he had married Molly Prewitt, Sirius had attended their wedding. It was a shame he couldn't have watched the children grow up. All nine of the Weasleys were waving at him, standing in front of a large pyramid. Right in the middle though, was a sight Sirius had never expected to see. What looked like the youngest boy had a rat perched on his shoulder, but the most unusual part was that Sirius recognized the rat. He had seen Peter transform enough times to know his Animagus form. He had tricked Sirius good all right.

"He must've cut off his finger, transformed, and disappeared into the sewers with the other rats," Sirius muttered to himself. "That's why he wasn't noticed. He escaped as a rat!"

Sirius looked around and outside the bars. He would have to plan his escape carefully, but Sirius was ready to take whatever steps were needed to ensure that Peter Pettigrew paid for the last 12 years of Sirius's miserable life. For now, though, he transformed into his dog form, lest the dementors sense his feelings and suck them out. He would get that rat, but until then, he needed to sleep. And maybe, just maybe, he would steal a Mountain Dew when he got out.


And so ends the Dew trilogy. Thanks for reading. Y'all have been great. Hey, did you know Tom Riddle (Voldemort) was born on December 31st? So, do you wish the greatest villain in the world a happy birthday just to tick him off? Hm.

Credit to my reviewers. Each review is worth a diamond to me.:

astroguitarist, kitty1234, hannah, iheartblackdogsirius, Coffee Grounds, Words-Never-Heard, The choco-holic, MinervaEvenstar, ballerinadoll9, Xx.Fma-Dnangel.xX, LeonaKat, Gothic-Cutie-Blues, An-Jelly-Ca, and Indigo Meow.

Y'all know what to do! R&R, people! Happy New Year!