Paint Job

By: KitsuneArasi

A/N: This is not an AU. I've altered things a bit, so Roxas, Axel, and possibly some other (slightly more dead) Nobodies survived the endgame, managed to achieve hearts, and now reside in Destiny Island and perhaps some other worlds. Heh. Demyx terrorizing Tarzan with heavy metal...X3

If anyone wants to write a (site appropriate) lime/lemon for this or any of my stories (where it would actually happen in relation to the situation), please let me know. -

Disclaimer: They are not mine. I did manage to filch a shadow heartless, but it kept tearing up the furniture. So little Fluffy is now caged with a muzzle and a Barney toy to torment.

Personal Note: Memo to me, find real Barney for Fluffy to…play with.

"Oh…my…fucking…LORD!" A cry split the air of one of the Destiny Islands (one of the residential islands, to be exact) and a certain messy-haired blonde gripped his hair tightly in both of his hands, looking one hundred percent ready to pull it out.

Meanwhile, the teen's red-haired, pyromaniac boyfriend stood leaning against the car with a smirk, either uncaring or unconscious of his peril. Mischief glinted brightly in his eyes at the blonde's own widening orbs and should-be-patented 'Omgwtfbbq!' (1) expression. Uncaring. Definitely uncaring.

"What the hell did you do to Sora's car, Axel!"

"Awwww, but Roxas, it looks so much better now."

"Like hell! Are those hotrod flames, Axel! Dark red hotrod flames on a purple base! It's not even ours! We borrowed it, remember? From Sora! I'm pretty sure it was blue because he wanted it blue, Axel!"

Axel's grin got wider, "Aw, c'mon, Rox. I'm practically doin' little Sora a favor here. Blue is too boring, the kid's a keyblade master! And you can't say it doesn't look good."

"Oh yes I can, Axel. And you're forgetting that I'm a keyblade wielder, too," the blonde flexed his fingers as if he were contemplating summoning them immediately and educating the redhead in the arts of pain, "and we both know that's not why you did it."

"Hm? I have no idea what you're talking about, Rox." Axel cocked a brow after seeing the twitch, contemplating some of the better uses for Roxas' hands. Mmm…, he thought, that thing he did the other night with—

Roxas' eyes narrowed as he recognized the look on his boyfriend's face, "Get your mind out of the gutter! I know you painted it hoping Sora wouldn't want it anymore, so you can stop playing Mother Theresa and start repainting it the way it was before you Axel-fied it!" He marched up close and prodded Axel in the chest with an index finger.

Bad idea.

A cardinal rule of combat:

Never get too close to the enemy.

Subtext III: Roxas Files: Access code: -Wikky wikky woo- (2)

Axel Clause Specifications:

Especially not your psychotic, pyromaniac, horny, and physically stronger boyfriend when you are irritated—because he thinks it's cute.


And that's pretty much where Riku and Sora found them an hour later when they came over for lunch, content with all in the world after their latest adventure in the bathtub.

…Only they weren't in exactly the same situation position. It was more like they were in the backseat, stark naked and asleep with their arms around each other and a variety of interesting stains scattered about. Of course, it took a moment for the couple to notice the tenants of the car, as they were a bit preoccupied with the vehicle itself.

"Ho-ly-fuck," Was Riku's eloquent response to Sora's newly revamped automobile, "It looks like the drag race fairy puked on your car."

Riku's shocked gaze was quickly averted to his boyfriend as the arm around the smaller boy's waist alerted him to his quivering.

"Hey, hey Sora, I'm sure it won't cost too much to get it painted like it was before. And I know Axel didn't mean anything by it. You know what an idiot he can be, and-"

"….'s so ….l."


Sora looked up, his eyes bright with childlike amazement, and threw his arms around Riku's neck, "It's so cool, Riku! Don't you think so? Squeeeeee!" Sora started doing one of the sugar high "Happy Dances" that Riku had been sure were a think of their single digit years.

Did he just…'squee' at me?

Sora began twirling around in circles, windmilling his arms as Riku watched, barely registering the pure novelty of a boy Sora's age acting like this.

Where the hell are Roxas and Axel, anyway?

"Hm?" Sora stopped abruptly, approaching the now slightly-tinted backseat window.

He peered in as Riku called out to ask after his actions.

"I think I found them, Riku." Sora turned back to him, grinning evilly before calling loudly so as to be heard by his stirring friends, "Have fun, guys?"

Roxas was the first to react, tensing up at the sight of his two friends looking in at them, covering himself with a window-muffled 'Fuck'.

Axel, on the other hand, offered another of his Cheshire grins to the smirking Riku and sweetly smiling Sora before helping his boyfriend get dressed in the confined space.

As they climbed out, Axel on the side Riku and Sora were standing on and Roxas on the other, Riku welcomed his fellow seme back to the non-car sex world.

"Nice surprise, Axel."

"There's still one more, Riku." His smile was wicked as his smaller boyfriend began to walk around the front of the car and froze, eyes nearly popping as he stared at the hood of the car.

"Rainbow polka dots! Aaaaaaaaaaxeeeeeel!"

"Okay, yeah," Sora conceded, examining the paintjob on the hood from beside his boyfriend, "we're gonna need to get that repainted, but hey, Axel's can spare some cash, ne?"

Riku nodded, "We'll have him pay for the paint right after he forks over the money for the stains in the back seat. Horny fucker."

Axel cackled wildly as he pulled a slide across the hood of the car, leaving Roxas to run around the hood in hot pursuit, "But I'm one helluva happy horny fucker!"


And there you have it. My first attempt at writing Axel and Roxas. Hope I haven't butchered them too much.

1- Thank you James. I think the initial saying you shared with me was much longer and ever so much more terrifying.

2- "Wikky wikky woo" courtesy of Greg, the biggest stalker boy I know of. Damn ninja wannabe. Good luck to you, Alli!

Thanks so much for reading! I'd appreciate reviews, but I won't threaten any of you. I'm always open to new inspiration and suggestions as well.