Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, I'm only borrowing.
Author's Note: Post-X3 (kinda pity-) sex. Inspired by Motörhead's "I Don't Believe A Word".
Summary: I don't make the decisions for you. You wanna be all grown up, act like a grown-up.
Don't talk to me, I don't believe a word
Don't try to make me feel alright
All the love in all the world
Is not enough to save my soul tonight
(Motörhead – I Don't Believe A Word)
Not A Fool
Two weeks had passed since the funerals of Jean and Scott, and since Marie had returned to the Mansion sans powers. Since she and Bobby had broken up for real.
Logan hadn't really spoken to her in that time, school matters somehow taking up all his time, and the more time passed, the more he dreaded talking to her. But after those two weeks, he gathered all his courage and sought her out.
He found her in the woods near the Mansion, alone.
Empty brown eyes met his, and he felt as though someone had stabbed him in the chest. What had happened while he wasn't looking?
"What'cha doin' out here?"
Marie threw a glance over her shoulder, looking up at the Mansion. Laughter drifted over the lawns, the sounds of a basketball game. "I... I just needed a little time alone."
He sat beside her, back against a tree, and pulled out a cigar, lighting it. Inhaling deeply, he said, "'Ro told me you been alone a lot lately."
She seemed to shrink a little at his words, and he mentally kicked himself for not making time for her earlier.
"I just don't... I don't feel welcome here anymore."
She choked on a laugh and looked at him with disbelief on her face. "You kidding? They hate me. They think I'm a traitor. No one talks to me anymore. Not even..."
She bit her lip, and he nodded. "Not even Bobby."
"I went and got fixed. Why doesn't he want me?" Tears started rolling down her cheeks, leaving dark spots on her scarf.
"Because he's a moron, Marie."
"No, he's not." She wiped at her eyes, glaring at him, suddenly angry. "Why didn't you stop me? You should've stopped me."
Logan sighed deeply. "Look, I told you, I'm not... I don't make the decisions for you. You wanna be all grown up, act like a grown-up."
She stared at him, then she stood up. "You said you were my friend. You promised you'd protect me." Her eyes were cold, impersonal. "As a friend, you should've protected me from myself."
She turned and stalked away, deeper into the woods, and Logan felt how white-hot anger flared in his chest. She probably was right. He should have talked her out of it, but at the time he had been too preoccupied by other things, and she had looked so calm and in control then. So sure of herself. So sincere when she said she wasn't doing it for some boy. Of course she had been, and he could see it in her eyes but for some reason had ignored it.
He got up and followed her, the scent of vanilla and fresh tears and Marie leading him along. He found her lying on the ground, sobbing into the cool earth, her nails digging into the dirt. Swallowing hard, he knelt next to her, touching her shoulder. "Marie..."
"Get the Hell away from me!" She batted at his hand, shoving him away at the same time. Her eyes were red from crying, and the look in her eyes made his stomach knot up.
But at the same time, his anger got the better of him, and he caught her hand as she tried to slug him. She yelped as his fingers dug into her flesh just a little too hard. He frowned at her. "Will ya calm down now?"
Marie's eyes were now blazing with fury, and instead of answering she tried to hit him with her free hand, which he caught as well. Her tears had vanished, and she was now frustration personified. She fought against his hold, trying desperately to wrangle free, and when he finally let go, she scrambled to her feet, putting a safe distance between them.
He sighed deeply, trying to calm himself. "Look, kid, I just wanna talk to you..."
She shouted in frustration, a wordless scream that made his ears ring, and then she flung herself at him again, all raw energy and pent-up anger. "Don't call me kid!"
She was small and light, but her momentum gave her strength, and she threw him off-balance, landing on top of him. Wasting no time, she started to pummel him as hard as she could, and Logan let her for a minute. All his anger had evaporated in the face of hers, and deep down he knew that he deserved everything she dished out.
Her hits grew weaker, her sobs louder, and finally she collapsed on his chest, her tears wetting his shirt.
Breathing her in, he smiled a little. "You done now?"
Sniffling loudly, slapped his arm. "Fuck you."
"Can't. Unfortunately. Been told I'm a good fuck."
She giggled a little, and he could feel her blush heat his skin through his shirt. "Really."
Logan chuckled, a motion that set her swaying on top of him, and he grabbed her shoulders to stop her from rolling off of him. "Oh yeah. Wouldn't you know that, with me in your head?"
Her breathing hitched, and then the world seemed to shift slightly, and suddenly he was very conscious of the way her breasts were pressed against his stomach.
She looked up at him, brown eyes watery. "Would you kiss me?"
He was pretty sure the word 'Huh?' was stamped on his face, and he breathed, "Why'd you want me to kiss you?"
She hid her face again, and mumbled into his chest, "I've never been kissed. Not really."
He stared at the top of her head, shocked, surprised... and torn.
Because if he were honest with himself? He'd have to admit that he'd noticed the woman she would become the second he'd laid eyes on her in Laughlin City. That, when he'd learned of her mutation, he'd had worked out how to have sex with her in 14 different ways in-between her pulling on her gloves and him handing her the jerky.
He could never tell her, of course. He was her friend, and she was just a kid.
She looked up at him with her large brown eyes, and fuck it, what was there to loose.
They rolled over, and when he hovered above her like that, the look in her eyes had turned hard and determined and kind of disconnected.
He leaned down, and her breath against his lips made him tremble. When their lips met, she almost moaned, and her hands flew to his head, disappearing in his hair, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. She tasted like chewing gum, and beneath that was a taste he knew was hers. When they came up for air, he realised her hands had wandered, that one had slid into the back of his jeans, tugging at his shirt, the other resting against his stomach.
And now it meant something else. It wasn't about the kiss anymore, and damn, he knew it was wrong. Knew he had to get up and leave. But then she hooked her legs over his, pulling him against her, and he hadn't realised he lay between them. He felt her heat, and saw the look in her eyes, and he thought, 'Don't let her throw herself at some asshole just because she's hurting'.
No words then, except her "Please, Logan", said again and again like a mantra. Only grinding, sweating, moaning. Her nails on his neck and her fingers in her hair, how the skin over her collarbone tasted and her moans, the shudders deep inside of her that went all the way to the soles of his feet.
And then she shuddered and clawed at his shirt and arched her back, and Logan knew that he had never seen anything quite as beautiful. He fell over the edge a second later, breathing her in, trying not to think about what would happen the next day, or the day after that.
She rolled away, leaves in her hair, her breathing still ragged. He hated how they looked, like strangers who came together only to have sex, not like friends at all. And when she got up, looking at him with eyes that spoke of nothing but pain, he wished he'd never met her. She smiled sadly, the tips of her fingers brushing against his cheek, and he knew she'd be gone the next morning.
He half-shrugged. "Anytime, darlin'."
"So that's what I have ta do for you to call me somethin' else than kid, huh?" She chuckled, then, with another sad smile, turned to leave.
"I'll see you around, then?"
She waved, without turning back. "Sure. I'll... I'll be around."
Logan watched until she disappeared between the trees, leaving nothing behind except the faint trace of her perfume.