Disclaimer - I do not own Harry Potter or middle Earth.


Westron Young Hobbit

Irumi sat at a table in the library reading a book. She was in her school uniform with her legs crossed, enjoying the quiet. Well, quiet except for the birds chirping outside. This came to her pointed ears that she hid behind her hair, even though she disliked covering them. It felt awful when she did. Her brown eyes looked up not a single time as she was enjoying herself, not being around to hear about the whole latest trends that were going on at that time. These trends had caused her to be more cautious then ever about her ears.

It was then that giggles were heard coming through the door. Her eyes shot up from the book. She turned and glared at the three new comers as they came through the door, pushing her brown hair back as she did so, as it had fallen in front of her eyes. She had been soengrossed in her book that she had lost track of time and the comings and goings in the library. She could see the librarian hushing the girls.

After the lecture, the three girls headed over to where the computers were. Unfortunately for her, she could hear them with her keen ears. Thus she could no longer focus on her book

"I just joined this fanfiction site. I posted my first fic last night!" A voice that caused Irumi to wince. It was Gigi Haskle again. I am now going and seeing if I got any reviews."

"Gigi, what is your first fic about." One girl commented. Irumi tried not to look at them

"How I finally married Legolas," Gigi bubbled. This caused Irumi's eyes to narrow. She turned around and glared at the girls.

"Lord Thranduil would kill you first before that would happen in real life," Irumi stated, causing the librarian to glare at her now. Irumi then turned back around.

"Who's Lord Thranduil?" The other friend said, sounding confused.

"How should I know. That statement came from the school freak, did it not," Gigi's statement caused Irumi chuckle. Gigi was way to full of herself. She thought she should have been born an elf. And those fanfics on the site certainly weren't helping. To bad Gigi didn't know Elves were real ... or perhaps it was a good thing.

"Oh, and last night I went to any fanfic I could find that stole Legolas away from me and said he was mine and that they were liars."gigi giggled. Irumi's jaw dropped at this one. She got up and walked over behind the girls once she regained her composer.

"Your only going to get flames for that one. People are going to be mad." Irumi startled them. She at first thought that she should have been a little noisier coming over, but her elven movements had proven for a nice effect. Gigi then turned back to the computer. She suddenly let out a gasp. Tears trickled down her face. Irumi shook her head, then noticed what was the problem, that she had been right.

"'What gives you the right to claim Legolas as your own! All I did was place an OC with him who could have been his wife! Seriously, you have some nerve. Especially since your character is a Mary Sue and unoriginal .''Please tell me you've read the books, because it is obvious from your fanfic and your review that you have not.' ' I suggest reading Lailaith's "Mary Sue in a Barrel" For some reason you fit the description of Kiki Castle, the one whom Mimi has problems with.' ' Please, your elvish is appalling. And do you really think that you could speak to the Hobbits when they speak Westron, not English!'" There wasn't one ounce of constructive critisism.

"Who wrote that one!" Gigi was wailing and the Librarian looked like she was about to burst her bubble. No one saw her go to get the principle of the school.

"I wrote that one. I am not surprised to find out it is you who wrote that trash." Irumi looked behind her to see a girl with glasses on and black hair pulled back into a pony tail.

Irumi shook her head. "You walk like an elf Sariah. I didn't hear you coming."

"The only reason I was able to sneak upon the one person who no one can sneak up on is because she was to busy reading something she was getting a great laugh at. Seriously!" She held up a book. "Speaking of your comment about elves, you tend to stray away from the topic of the two bigest Fandoms of this school at this point. I don't blame you the other one, but LotR? I would have thought that you would be, with the fact your reading books about dimensions. Then again, your probably just a sci fi geek."

A shuffling of padded feet was heard coming into the library. The one girl with glasses's head snapped up. "Please tell me that Hedgin and Dals are wearing shoes. Because if they aren't again, the librarian will kill them."

"Gag me. Those curly haired feet are disgusting!" Gigi commented, her two friends nodding their heads. They saw two figures shuffle over to Irumi's bag.

"She has to be here Pippin," One said, picking up her bag and showing a little silver trinket on it to the other. "Her grand gaffer made this for her."

"Ah, yes he did Merry. It is so different then the ones on the Lothorien cloaks."The other Hobbit stated. Irumi was turning red from embarrassment. Sariah looked at her, then back at them.

"You'd best stop Dal and Hedgin from making a racket and getting us all in trouble. Was it not just yesterday those two were pretending to be Frodo and Sam? I kept telling them the names weren't English, but ..." Before she could finnish, Irumi was gone. The elfling walked up to the two Hobbits.

"Merry! Pippin! What are you two doing here," She whispered, annoyance in her voice.

"Well, we were sent to tell you Gandalf felt a disturbance about a month ago,"

"That was the day you got back from your little travel to the Hidden Valley. Did you bring back salad?"

"Not that kind of Hidden Valley Pippin. Hidden as in hidden by something unexplainable," Merry hit Pippin on the back of the head.

Pippin rubbed his head and continued. "Well, Gandalf said you weren't trying to go, but that you got pulled in. You barely got out. Your older brother pulled you out of the Hidden Desert. Merry? How did she end up at a Hidden Dessert when she was at ..."

A glare from Irumi silenced the two. "How exactly did you two find out about this?"

"Well, Galadriel saw ..." Pippin started.

"Never mind!" Irumi snapped. "Now, please, go away."

The two Hobbits looked at each other. They both said the same time. "Why are you so upset today?"

Irumi glared at the two Hobbits. "Because, if they some how find out you are the real Merry and Pippin, they will ask how you two don't look like adult Hobbits but child Hobbits. And when I answer that one, they'll ask questions like if Borimer is alive again, which he is or... I'm crazy."

"Well, we know very well that the biggest fan of the fellowship was very disappointed to find that when she finally got to meet us, that we were not the adults she'd read so much about in history texts."

"Surely I am not the biggest ..." But Irumi found herself interupted/

"Nope. It's the fault of the dark magic. Though you never have been clear about that Irumi, what it was that bothered you," Irumi's eyes turned dark. Merry grinned at Pippin never the less.

"Well, since the fellowship are your role models and heros elfing, it is our next mission to make you laugh and make the sadness go away. Thranduil gave you that elven name for a reason, did he not?" Suddenly, both Hobbits jumped up on the table and pulled Irumi up forcefully. They then began to sing.

"We're Hobbits! We're Hobbits! We like to drink our ale. We're Hobbits! We're Hobbits! "We like to sing a tale!"

"I'm Pippin,"

"I'm Merry,"

"We're Hobbits! We're ..." They were interrupted with the doors slamming open.

"What is going on here!" The principle stood their. She was not very nice. "Irumi Hikari! I should have known it was you. Dal, Hedgin. I thought I already suspended the two you for pretending to be Frodo and Sam and planting potatoes in the hallway yesterday to make the perfect garden as Hamfast Gamgee would want it. You should not be at school."

"We're at school?" Pippin gave her an exasperated face. This caused the principle to turn red.

"Pippin, we'd best go before we get Irumi in any more trouble."

"Oh, well, I don't like school anyways. Uma, Merry, should we tell Sam that his Gaffer wants him to plant potatoes in the hall way of their house?"

"Pippin!" After the two had disappeared, the principle glared at the figure still on the table, unable to move.

"In my office now,"

"Much obliged,"


Author's note - I finally got around to the crossover that's been in my head for a while. I was going to have it bigger, but that would obviously be confusing. I was going to include everything from this to that. Then I thought, best leave it for my crazy mind.

The fanfic site is a spoof of off of this one and is in no way meant to actually be this site or any other fanfic site for that matter. Originally it had a name, but I found that it got booted from my fic.

"Mary Sue's in a Barrel" Is another one of my fanfics. I am pretending that Irumi is writing it here in this story just for the fun of it. It is a Mary Sue bashing. You may also understand a little more of what goes on here if you read this. It may be a bit ... confusing at first.

Also, there is a fic that has the "Hobbit Song" in it's complete rendition.

1/1/2014 ~ One 3/6/2013 I received a review from an anonymous reviewer about author's self-inserting themselves into a story and how that turned them off from reading stories. I choose to delete the review because around that time I had been receiving anonymous reviews on another story from someone trying to get me to change the story to be the way they wanted. Said story was for a challenge that I couldn't make changes after posting the chapters as per rules of the challenge. The changes they wanted also contradicted canon for the fandom. I had reason to suspect the review was left by said person and that said person hadn't actually read the story.

The original name for Irumi Hikari was actually Yemi Hikari. When I wrote Finding a Hero back in 2006 I saw that many parody writers would name their accounts after the character they used for satire and I did the same. I didn't expect to become known as Yemi Hikari back then. The real reason though for changing the name is because there is no "ye" in the Japanese alphabet. Took me years to figure out what I wanted her name to be changed to. I'm now going through and changing all the stories with this particular OC in it.