The New CMO: Bones
A Stargate: SG-1 / Star Trek: The Original Series Crossover Story
By Teri

Summary: SGC gets a new Doctor. New CMO Challenge - Rated T for repeated use of the word damn.

Disclaimer: The author is not associated with the owners or creators of any of the characters or shows mentioned. This was written purely for my own amusement and hopefully the enjoyment of others.

Author's Note: I posted this on Crossgate about two years ago, but since this is Star Trek – Happy 40th – weekend, people were posting links to Stargate/Star Trek crossovers and Danielle mentioned this story. I had forgotten about it, but thought I should post it this weekend for the anniversary. – Also this story ignores references to Star Trek made in "1969".

Carter and O'Neill were walking towards the infirmary.

"So where did the General find this new guy again? He's a riot," Jack asked referring to the new doctor.

"The General didn't find him, Sir. He just showed up through the gate. He said something about 'damn Vulcan memories' and something about 'velocity to sling-shot around the sun.' Apparently, he is from the future. The General sent him to the base infirmary for a check-up and he sort of just took over."

"And the General is trusting him? With a story like that?"

"Yeah," she shrugged. It surprised her too. "He just said something
about SG-1 not being the only people who can manage time travel, Sir," she looked up at the Colonel, "and something I didn't understand about his aunt being Edith Keeler."

"The social reformer?"

"I suppose, Sir. I really don't know."

The two Air Force officers entered the infirmary and approached the new Doctor.

"So, what's up Doc?" Jack drawled slowly, "what can you tell me about the dead snake we brought in?"

"Damn-It, Colonel, I'm a Doctor not a zoologist!"

Jack gave the new Doctor a look before turning away from him motioning a time-out. Everyone but Jack froze and he looked directly at the readers, "like there was anyone of you not expecting that line." He gave an incredulous look that was pure Jack O'Neill before turning back around and motioning for a time-in.

Jack just gave him a look as he shook his head with a small grin. He was trying hard to hide. He wasn't Janet, but the new Doc would sure keep the place on their toes.

"Just look at this, a drill for a man's head. What is this the Dark Ages? At least nothing here is going to scramble my damn molecules."

Carter grinned this time, "actually, Sir, the gate works by dissembling your molecules into energy patterns for transportation. If you stay, you will be required to use the gate at some point."

The doctor just shot her a look of annoyance.

Carter ignored the look and continued, "Actually, I have been working on a way to create the same effect outside of the Gate environment. I have had some luck with it so far. It will allow
us to beam energy patterns much in the same way Thor does, Colonel. I just haven't gotten the pattern buffers quite right yet. I can see a lot of applications for my Transporter Beam."

It was here that Doctor Leonard McCoy of the United Federation of planets realized why this Major seemed so familiar. This was the famous Carter, or to his mind 'infamous' Carter, who invented the damn transporters. At least she hadn't said it was 'Fascinating' like a certain green-blooded Vulcan he knew.

"It really is Fascinating, Sir."

So, what do you all think? Hope someone enjoyed it.


Written: 09/29/04
Edited & Posted: 09/09/06