Title: Walking the Plank
Pairings a mystery, but definitely Shoujo-Ai if that bothers you, RUN AWAY!
Summary: Rei has a problem, the senshi try to help-um, emphasis on the word- "try" REI PUT DOWN THAT GUN! Minako, RUN AWAY! Ami, STOP HIDING! Usagi, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
Disclaimer: for the gods sake YOU ALL KNOW I DON'T OWN SAILOR MOON! becuase if I DID, all of THIS would be CANON and all of YOU would be writing fanfiction OF THIS... but its not LIKE that now IS IT?
Please enjoy this little silly, romantic ficlet.
T'was a regular night in the Shinto shrine, when a regular senshi meeting hath ended, everyone has left and Rei stares off into the direction of the moon princess and sighs. . . not knowing a certain other blonde girl has decided to approach her…
"You love Usagi don't you Rei?" Minako asked. However for the Senshi of love it was more of a rhetorical question. She could feel Rei's feelings grow stronger for their princess ever since their fight with Beryl. Now she just wanted to see the look on Rei's face when she confessed. She had been playfully imagining it forever (more like a week or two). Her widened eyes, her angry flush, and then her poor confession… something along the lines of
"Darn I can't hide anything from you Minako" or, "Oh shit, I know… I know, please don't tell anyone?" or her personal favorite one, (Lights, Camera- ACTION) Rei's eyes widened, she opened her mouth as if to retort with some comeback only to stop midway before the phrase even got out of her mouth. Her eyes fell downwards towards her shoes
"Oh my god Minako, it HURTS! I love her with EVERY MOLECULE OF MY BODY, MIND, AND SOUL! Yet I know I can NEVER be with her because Destiny and Fate are against me- how I will anguishly pine away for her until the end of my days" tears would form in her eyes as she would bravely wipe them away, "But as long as my goddess, angel, love from the moon is happy, then I shall be oh so happy, for that Is all I need to last me until the ends of eternity" her eyes would sparkle brightly as she looked up towards the sky, "Oh beautiful, intelligent, oh, so, much, better than me goddess of Venus, thank you so much for letting me confide in you my deepest darkest secret, I thank you so much for it" dramatically she would kiss Minako's hands and cry in bittersweet symphony.
That fantasy left Minako feeling estatic, like the pure goddess of love that she truly was. She had been waiting practically AGES for the right moment to bring it up though (more like a week or two, but its Minako, what the hey?) and FINALLY after the current Senshi meeting that went on as everyone was going home she CAUGHT the miko by herself… hahaha! Now she could relish in the moment she had been dying for-
"yeah, I love her, don't you?" Rei said casually. Minako blinked, her perception of Rei being very cut and smart got chipped lightly.
"Yeah of course I love her, but you love her in a different way then I do"
"What?" Minako blinked again, Ok then, Rei Hino officially isn't on the bright side of the crayon box anymore. She ran a hand through her thick mane of blonde hair and without loosing confidence, spoke again.
"It's Ok Rei, you don't have to lie to me, I won't judge you" She gave a warm, sincere smile best suited for breaking even the most stubborn of secret holders. Rei went head to head against so said powerful smile and just furrowed her brows.
"Minako, what the hell are you talking about?"
Minako's ego deflated like a soap bubble being dropped into a porcupine kingdom. She brushed it off by chuckling animatingly tapping her forehead as she spun away not looking at her. Inside she was absolutely appalled. How did she resist my all mighty smile-made-specifically-for-breaking-the most-stubborn-of-secret-holders? More so, when the hell did she become so THICK? Are my powers THAT out of whack? Rei stared at Minako's strange antics with suspicion. Rei knew that Minako could sometimes be a bit OUT THERE, but today she was bordering on being a loony. That was starting to get on Rei's nerves.
And NO ONE wanted to get on Rei's nerves. Minako spun back to her, head facing down refusing to meet her eyes, and then with a dramatic pause she lifted her head to show dark eyes. "Rei Hino, stop playing with me, just spit it out already, I know…" A vein begin to faintly appear on Rei's pale forehead,
"Spit out WHAT Minako?" the last straw snapped into two as a large vein pulsated on Minako's temple.
"Good, GOD REI! YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH USAGI! Not the way I love her, not the way Ami loves her, not the way Makoto loves her, No! You love her the way HARUKA LOVES MICHIRU! You know THE RAINBOW PRIDE?" Rei's eyes widened as the vein in her head throbbed angrily,
"WHAT? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Where the FUCK did you get this conclusion?"
"Don't you DARE DENY IT PYRO! The clues are ALL THERE, it's written all over your GOD DAMN FACE!"
"In case you FORGOT love hippie, I-Don't-SWING THAT WAY!" Rei hissed at the Blonde. Minako laughed bitterly, blowing her off.
"Oh yeah, the Haruka/Michiru aspect is ALL THERE girl, stop denying it because you're not fooling ANYONE, least of all ME!"
"I don't LOVE HER THAT WAY! So you better Shut up right this instant or else!"
"Or else what? You're going to say some dirty words at me? How dirty are they going to be? As dirty as your FANTASIES with the BUNNY!"
"WHAT?" Rei looked as though she was about to explode, but then she stopped herself. Remember Rei, if you kill her you'll go to prison… and you don't want to go to prison she closed her eyes, and then took a deep breath. She faced the representative of Venus. "Ok Aino… I'm giving you this chance to walk away…" Rei's right eye was twitching something FIERCE as she barely managed to keep her voice on a calming tone, "and forget that… this…EVER…happened…" Like a forcing a tiger to become a vegetarian, Rei forced a smile on her face-hoping to look disarming. Unfortunately Minako just snorted,
"As if, you love Usagi, and I'm not leaving until you admit it-OW!" Rei's badly put on façade broke into a million itty bitty pieces as she proceeded to shove Minako out the door.
"I do NOT love Usagi that way, and I CERTAINLY am not GAY! I have no idea what you're on, but STOP doing drugs Minako, they FUCK with your brain!" Rei growled as Minako yelped at being shoved so violently towards the exit. Finally her foot got caught on a stair step as she then tumbled down the stairs painfully, screaming loudly. "AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL THAT ALL GETS INTO YOUR EMPTY HEAD!"
If Rei thought she could have the last word, she was as wrong as 2 + 2 22. Upon flare and impulse she stood up and screamed, "OH UP YOURS! I'M NOT LEAVING THIS SPOT UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE A DIE HARD DYKE WITH A BUNCH OF STRAP ONS FOR USAGI!" several strangers taking a peaceful night stroll were shocked senseless as they stared at a raging teenage girl screaming at a shrine… Most walked away as quickly as possible, the others decided to stay and see what happened next. If Minako wanted Rei's attention, she certainly got it. You see, Rei opened the door, then slammed it shut and began to stomp over to Minako with her broom… with a cleaver tied to the end of it.
Minako's eyes widened with terror- "Oh shit" then she did the most logical thing anyone else would do in her position. She turned her heel and began to sprint as if hell wanted to rape her…but then again a raging Rei Hino was chasing her… it might as well been worse than hell.
"DON'T YOU DARE EVER COME BACK HERE!" Rei roared as she swung her make-shift spear at the girl. "OR I'M GOING TO SHOVE THIS BROOM STICK SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU'LL DIE OF CHOKING ON IT!" Minako ducked, jumped, ran, and screamed her head off. "UNTIL YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I AM AS STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW!" The strangers on the street looked with wide eyes…
"Well your arrow must be twisted into a circle then!" Minako managed to retort before shrieking as the cleaver nearly got her head. Finally turning the bend she managed to shake the homicidal miko off her back as she continued to sprint down the street Rei continued to yell threats until she was sure that she was out of sight. Then she stomped back furiously to the shrine. Before entering it however she looked back onto her unwanted audience with a scowl,
"WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT?" she slammed the door with as much force as she could almost knocking it off the hinges. Before opening it a second later, "AND I'M NOT A LESBIAN!" SLAM! Everyone sweat dropped. Kids and drugs these days… they all thought before walking quickly back to their homes.
Meanwhile back with our very lovely Sailor Venus.
Sailor V was absolutely fuming. Somewhat inside she KNEW the Rei would deny her love… but she never thought to this extreme. As being the senshi of the planet Venus her intuition towards feelings and love was extremely acute. She liked to compare it to a well tuned guitar, strumming all their strings to make an absolutely beautiful sound. Anyways though…"Why is she so adamantly denying her feelings?"
"Yeah, her I don't get it-HEY!" she jumped as soon as she realized that she wasn't talking to herself anymore. Michiru rolled her eyes,
"It's just me Minako" Minako sighed in relief and lightly laughed at herself for being so stupid. She smiled at the older woman.
"Sorry Michiru you just scared me a little, that's all… Hey I thought you and Haruka and Setsuna left a little while ago-?"
"We heard screaming, so we decided to come back and see if everything was alright" Haruka stated, wrapping an arm around Michirus waist. Michiru nodded as she leaned her head against her shoulder. Minako sighed, Setsuna raised an eyebrow.
"I'm taking it that something bad happened?" Minako took in a breath as her nerves finally calmed back down to normal- you know, the way they were BEFORE a homicidal Miko came after her like Jason and those poor kids on Elm street-ANYWAYS
"No it's just… I know Rei has-" Minako paused. She wondered if it was ok to confide within the Outers. Would they even believe her?
"You mean Rei's totally obvious feelings for Usagi?" Minako's eyes widened. Well that was one question answered.
"You know?" Minako asked Haruka, who in turn just shrugged again.
"Yeah, you'd have to be totally blind if you can't see it" Michiru smirked before closing her slightly tired eyes.
"Let me guess, you confronted her" Setsuna slowly came out of the shadows, her wine colored eyes knowing the answer already. Minako nodded. Setsuna narrowed her eyes as she asked another question.
"I take it that it was a compete disaster?" Minako nodded again and sighed, rubbing her temples.
"What are you guys talking about?" Minako jumped again in shock only to look down at blue eyes- Ami.
"Where did you come from!" Ami raised an eyebrow and pointed behind her.
"Um, down the street, why?" Minako sweat dropped. No duh, way to look good in front of the genius, stupid. She shook her head and asked her pretty friend once again.
"Why did you come back here?"
"I heard screaming, I wanted to make sure everyone was OK" Minako's cheeks turned slightly pink. Was I really that loud? "So what are you guys talking about?"
"Um, Rei's personal problems"
"Oh, her totally obvious love for Usagi, or her secret stash of OPRAH magazines?"
"WAIT YOU KNEW TOO?"
"Yes, you would have to be totally oblivious to not know"
"Ow! What the hell Michi?"
"Be polite to our princess"
"Pssh, You all agree with me, I'm just the one with the guts to say it-OW!"
"Hey what's going on here?" everyone turned to see the tall brunette standing behind Ami with questioning eyes.
"Makoto! What are you doing here?"
"I heard screaming and I just-"
"Wanted to make sure everyone was Ok?"
"Hey how did you know?"
"Real-… what ever Minako" Makoto gave a slight frown over to her shorter blonde friend. "Well then what's everyone talking about?"
"Just Rei's deepest darkest secret" Minako teased a small smile playing on her lips. Makoto raised an eyebrow,
"Really? You mean all those secret hardcore Yuri mangas she has under her mattress?"
"No, we were talking about her other deepest darkest secret" Ami chided. Makoto's mouth opened into a small 'o' or realization.
"Oh, you mean her undying love for Usagi?" Makoto grasped her heart, and crossed her eyes, spinning around in mock swoon. Ami giggled, Michiru and Haruka chuckled, Setsuna just gave a small smile, Minako on the other hand….
"Wait you knew too?"
"Well yeah you have to be-"
"Just plain retarded?"
Minako rubbed her temple. Did EVERYONE know that Rei loved Usagi? Why didn't she know that everyone knew that she knew that Rei loved Usagi? HOW DID EVERYONE ELSE KNOW WITHOUT HER KNOWING THAT THEY KNEW THE SAME THING SHE KNEW? Minako groaned; this was becoming way too complicated.
"Honestly Minako who DOESN'T know?" Haruka smirked.
"Hey what's everyone talking about?" Everyone looked down to a curious Hotaru.
"Hotaru what are you doing here?" Ami asked.
"Let me guess, you heard screaming and you wanted to see if everyone was alright?"
"…no… I was looking for Michiru mamma and Haruka papa"
"Shut up, Makoto"
"Guys, don't argue" Ami lightly prodded.
"Ok Ami" they both chimed in unison.
"I see, you're both whipped for Ami-"
"Shut up Haruka"
"Oh dear…" Ami, Michiru, and Setsuna sweat dropped. Hotaru lightly tugged at Michirus sleeve.
"So what were you all talking about?" Minako sighed,
"We're just talking about Rei's really really obvious love for Usagi"
"Really? Rei loves Usagi? I didn't know that"
"HA! She DIDN'T KNOW!"
"She's just a little kid, she doesn't count!"
"Still she's a SOMEBODY isn't she?"
"huh?" Hotaru looked at her Setsuna mamma and Michiru Mamma in total confusion. Setsuna just shook her head as Michiru ran her fingers through her dark hair.
"Don't worry about them, their just getting rid of excess energy"
"Oh! Like you and Haruka papa do in your bedroom that causes so much noise?" Michiru and Haruka flushed a deep crimson red. Setsuna rolled her eyes.
"Is that the best excuse you could tell her?" Haruka whispered to Michiru. Who in turn had a light vein pulsate on her forehead.
"Well I like you to come up with something better!"
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!"
A little while later when everyone is finally walking home together and far away from the topic of Haruka and Michiru's sex life. -
"I can't believe that Rei is that deep in denial" Minako stated again, putting both her hands behind her head, sighing. Makoto looked sympathetically at her friend.
"I think she's only in denial because of our foretold destinies" Ami replied. "She knows that Fate and Destiny are both against her feelings, making her very discouraged."
"Not brave enough to walk the plank then" Makoto breathed, with a tad bit of sadness in her voice. Ami nodded at her tall friend.
"She probably feels as though she can't even take one step" The senshi of wisdom either hit the bulls eye or was very near to it as everyone was quiet for a bit, swimming around in their own thoughts.
Of course, silence never lasted long when a light bulb flashed in The Senshi of Love's mind.
Uh oh everyone thought as soon as they saw Minako's famous grand smile began to form on her face.
"that's it!" she snapped her fingers loudly. Oh god everyone thought again. "Rei Hino is our friend, is she not?" Everyone nodded. "And we are her best friends, are we not?" Everyone nodded again. She grinned. "Then we" as she dramatically posed, somewhere out of the blue, a bunch of blue neon lights turned on, "as her best friends" she struck another dramatic pose, another set of pink neon lights came on, "shall give her-" she spun around with impressive speed, all the neon lights spun as well, " A PUSH OFF THE PLANK!" She struck her most popular sailor V pose as all the neon lights wrote out, "PUSH REI OFF THE PLANK!"
All of rationality and thought stood still.
" what are you TALKING ABOUT?" Makoto gritted her teeth, before shoving all the neon lights away. " this is REI we're talking about here!" she said again, Minako just blinked at her as if to say your point is, stupid? Makoto began waving her arms around. " you know, Rei, STUBBORN Rei? STUBBORN AS A MULE REI?"
"And so said Stubborn Rei is in denial" Michiru pointed out. Makoto thankfully nodded in her direction before continuing to rant.
"She'll probably need more of a SHOVE than a push" Ami tapped her chin in thought.
"Actually more of a tie-her-up-in-rope-and-drag her off" Haruka joined in the conversation.
"More of she needs to be whacked upside the head with a baseball bat and dropped kicked off -" Ami grasped her upper arm lightly.
"Makoto" she reminded. Makoto lightly blushed,
"Sorry" Minako narrowed her eyes slightly. But brushed off everyone,
"I am quite aware of that! Sheesh, who do you guys take me for?" Everyone looked at her skeptically. Ami, being more kind than the rest of her friends around her approached the Love goddess.
"So then, do you have a plan?" she asked. Minako's grin grew wider than Usagi's appetite making Ami shrink back wishing that she never asked.
"I'm so glad you asked, my little genius" she winked, Ami's cheeks went slightly pink. Makoto's eyes narrowed. "GATHER AROUND EVERYONE!" She beckoned all her friends into a tight circle around her, and began to whisper. "All we need is a video camera and-" The rest of their conversation was hushed by the night wind.
"OH MY GOD, REI RUN! RUNNNN!" Usagi bolted upright on her bed, holding her hands in front of her. Luna ran over to the young moon princess.
"Are you Ok Usagi?" she asked with concern. Usagi opened her eyes and looked around realizing that she was still in her room. Usagi wiped the sweat off her brow with her pajama sleeve and sighed.
"yeah, I guess I am… I just had a nightmare" Luna sat on her lap and looked up with concern.
"What was the nightmare about?" Usagi scratched her head.
"Well you see, I forgot…" Luna sweat dropped and Usagi gave a sheepish smile. "But you see, it was really scary!" Usagi said seriously trying her best to redeem herself, "and I dreamed that something bad was going to happen to Rei and I had to warn her!" she said sleepily, already having the adrenaline wear off her.
"Well then, you'll just have to tell her tomorrow-" she was interrupted by the sound of Usagi flopping on her back.
"zzzzzzzzzzzzz" then she proceeded to snore loudly, signaling that she had fallen asleep. Luna sighed… then she jumped back on the desk and looked at the moon.
"I have absolutely no idea what Mars sees in her, honest!" she said.
That's the prologue folks.
Setsuna's Foreshadowing of chapter one
For the Love of God Rei, you have no Idea what you're getting into.