Loved Until Tomorrow
They had bumped into each other at the party. They hadn't seen each other since she was fifteen and she had changed a lot since then. She was no longer the innocent bushy haired know-it-all, but had transformed into a beautiful woman who had seen too much by the age of twelve to have ever really been considered a teenager. Instead she had been forced from childhood into adulthood without the proper transition that everyone deserved.
It was her outfit that caught his eye. She was wearing low cut blue dress robes that fitted her perfectly. She had looked nothing like he had remembered her and he realized that that wasn't her anymore. Far too much had happened for her to be the same.
For her it had been his eyes. She had been scanning the crowd trying to drown out her partner when she spotted him. He was laughing with George and Charlie and the laughter had met his eyes. She hadn't seen anyone smile like that in a long time. Harry often wore a goofy grin, especially when he was around Ginny, but his eyes still held the hurt and pain that he had seen over the years. Ron wore the same expression but with a less haunted look in his eyes, as he had never had the weight on the world on his shoulders like Harry had. His eyes were like a window back into a better time. And that had been what she had needed.
She had been dancing with Percy, who was talking a mile at a minute, and it was obvious from across the room that the smile that she gave him was fake. Knowing what it was like to be caught in Percy's ramblings he quickly made his way over to save her. They had spent the rest of the night talking. Learning about the things that had happened over the last few years. She had heard several things about his life through Mrs. Weasley, but it was usually just random bits of information that didn't tell her much about what he had been going through. She told him that she was still interning at Hogwarts but Dumbledore has made it clear that when there was an opening that she would most likely be the one filling it. He asked her about her love life, saying he had heard about a serious boyfriend and she had reluctantly told him that they weren't together anymore. That there were just too many differences. That she had loved him but sometimes love just wasn't enough.
The party slowly began to die down and they said there goodbyes. They were both staying at the Leaky Caldron, as they were too tired to apparate home and they didn't want to oppose on the Weasley's, even if they were his family. The rest of the Weasley's were staying at the Burrow along with Fred's girlfriend and of course Harry. Neither of them thought that there was any reason to add to the chaos. He walked her up to her room and she invited him in. She knew that she shouldn't, that he should be downstairs getting a room of his own. They both knew it, but that didn't stop him from accepting.
He made the first move, thinking that she's pull away. They were both surprised when she didn't. They both knew it was wrong. That it was a mistake. But at that moment it didn't seem to matter that he was married. Or that she had once dated his younger brother. All that mattered was that he wanted her and she wanted him. They would deal with the consequences in the morning. This was a mistake they were willing to make.
- - - - - - - - - - -
She didn't know how to react when she saw the outcome. A part of her had known what it would say but she hadn't accepted it. She wanted to pretend that it was a mistake, that it was wrong. She had repeated it ten times and they all said the same thing. It wasn't a lie and she couldn't change that.
She wanted to go back to that night. She wanted to change what happened. To tell herself that only bad things could happen from it. But in her heart she knew that she would have done it anyway. That even she couldn't have talked herself out of it. That night was what she had needed. To have someone want her back. To feel loved, if only for a short time.
She had spent so much time watching Harry and Ginny being the image of the perfect couple. The hero of the story finally getting his dream girl. She was happy for them but at the same time it was killing her. She had dated. She had even loved but she had never had what they did. She always seemed to choose the wrong guy. The guy that everyone but her knew wasn't right or the guy that everyone else thought was perfect but all she could find was flaws. The guy that broke her heart and never looked back. The guy she lived in harmony with but never really loved.
He had made her feel wanted. He had told her that she was beautiful. He had been interested in her as more then just a brain. He was interested in what she had to say and didn't get intimidated when she said something smart. He was perfect for her in every way but one.
He was married.
And she couldn't change that.
- - - - - - - - - - -
It had taken her weeks to accept the fact that it had really happened. She was able to hide it from most of the staff but she wasn't able to keep it from everyone. She had been in the middle of helping Professor Snape when she suddenly ran out of the room looking for the nearest bathroom. He had followed her there and had seen everything.
She hadn't been able to say anything. She never explained or gave her any details but he somehow seemed to understand. He offered her as much of a smile as he could and Hermione broke down. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be getting a job. Working at Hogwarts. She was supposed to meet a nice man, one that was right for her. God, at that point she would have taken him.
Between sobs she told him as much as she could without revealing too much of the situation. She couldn't do that to him. She couldn't do that to his wife. She couldn't do that to herself. He did his best to comfort her, telling her that everything would work out fine. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to believe him.
She had sworn him to secrecy but only in turn for her promising that she would tell someone else. The father, her parents, Harry, Ron, someone, anyone, that she trusted.
Hermione planned to keep her part of the promise but she couldn't help but think that he hadn't kept his. When she finally asked Dumbledore for a couple of weeks off he kept smiling knowingly at her and offering for her to take a few more weeks off then she suggested, paid of course. But Dumbledore always did seem to know more then anyone else, maybe this was just one of those times.
- - - - - - - - - -
She had taken the train to London, instead of apparating, as she needed to work out what exactly she was going to tell her parents. It was hard to decide if she should tell them the truth. I mean this wasn't exactly the easiest thing for parents to hear. She decided to break it to them gently, and that would need planning.
When she appeared on her parents' doorstep they knew that something was wrong. It wasn't like her to just show up without calling to make sure that they would be there. She cursed herself for not thinking of that and nervously told them what had happened. She didn't mention who he was or that he was married. She figured she would have to tell them eventually, but that this wasn't the time.
When she was finished telling them they just stared at her. She could see the millions of unasked questions written all over there faces. There eyes held a look of disappointment that forced her to have to look away. They didn't have to tell her what they were thinking, she could see it.
Once the silence was broken it seemed as if the yelling and shouting would never stop. She had always considered her parents to be reasonable people but during that time they seemed anything but. They couldn't understand how it had happened. How she had allowed it to happen. They wanted to know who he was and why he wasn't there too. Why she hadn't told him about the situation. And a lot more questions that she didn't have the answers to. The conversation ended in yelling goodbye and her telling them that as of now they would be lucky if they ever got to see there grandchild.
Severus had told her to go to someone that she trusted and she had. But seeing how they reacted she hated to think how everyone else would. Who could she go to now?
And that's how she found herself here, at his doorstep. She knew she couldn't go to Harry and especially not to Ron. They wouldn't have any better idea of what to do then her. He, he might have an idea. He might understand why she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone. He might be able to offer her more then an unsure smile and false promises.
Or at least she hoped.