Authors note: (Rises from the grave) I live! I know it's being a while, and I apologize to all my loyal readers for taking so long. My only real defense is that I have being severally over worked at the moment. The Christmas holiday plays marry hell on the free time of all consumable product producers, a field of work I find myself within the employment of. When followed by the swift and mighty force of Exams, I had no real choice but to take a small Hiatus. I will be doing the lee fight seen, but not right now, in fact I have decided that this story in of itself will act primarily as a rough draft, the 'improved' addition being released on it's completion. Alas updates will still not be as frequent as they once were, but I will still aim for at least one chapter every other week of sporadic size.
On another note, some of you might have noticed my other budding story 'A Fox Among The Leaves' I am eager to dig into that fic as well but unfortunately have not the means to get my hands on the script for the first episode of Naruto, of which I desperately need in order to complete it's first true chapter. Any assistance on the acquisition of this data would be greatly welcomed.
Oh and for any that wanted to know, that burning claw jutsu (Shounetsujigoku) translates to: Hell's Inferno/fire.
As a Final note, and this is a big one. This chapter was not beta'd out of my own desperation to get it out ASAP. I once more very much thank the numerous volunteers that have offered there assistance in this regard, and will update it with any corrections sited.
Anyhow, I'm sure you're though reading this junk and want to dig into the meat, so on with the show!
Disclaimer: I DO Own Naruto… in my own little world…
Chapter 7: Attack of the Fan girls.
The next day was far from a quite one, Naruto ended up sleeping in. How could he not when he was so drained by both the fight and the debriefing afterwards? Not to mention the debate that followed afterwards when the Sandiame informed him that Naruto was welcome to join one of the teems now that he had stopped the theft of the scroll. The lost Uchiha had to confess, it was tempting as hell, but he needed to remain in his year to make best use of his foreknowledge, and there was still a lot of things to do.
Still, he was surprised how well he ranked now, Two class A missions were under his belt and he hadn't even graduated. His Taijutsu was almost at Jonin levels, thanks largely to his near constant sparring with Gai and Lee, his Genjutsu none existent, but he could slice through it well enough even with out revealing his ancestry. His Ninjutsu was also impressive. While his technique library was rather small compared to most people of his ability, and miniscule to what an Uchiha should have, what he did know was hammered down to absolute perfection. The fact that the bulk was A rank Kin jutsu also helped a lot there. Aside from that his Stamina and Chakra reserves were near Sanin level. Though that wasn't quite as impressive as it seemed, as while he could perform the Uchiha fire techniques he had learned from Mokoto-san all day. His frontline attack jutsu required enough Chakra to kill lower class Jonin. His own Shounetsujigokutook as much energy as a Rasengan needed for form for every ten seconds or so it was active. As it was he could hold it for twenty minuets striate so long as he didn't use anything else. Still while costly, you couldn't argue the results, the technique sliced through chakra enhanced steel as if it was butter, and that was saying something. No he wasn't the strongest Ninja in Kohona, but he was up there, something the current Hokage knew quite well.
Of corse none of this mattered at the moment, For our tired hero had just turned to face his bedside clock and realized that he was indeed very late for class.
"Oh crap." The suto-Genin jumped out of bed at lightning speeds, flying around the room getting ready at a pace that most hunter nins would have problems tracking. Followed by a swift clone swap to get outside, then he was sprinting across rooftops as if all nine of the tailed beasts were after him.
Unknown to our blond hero he was being watched "This is Bishi watch to all units, the fox has left the den, I repeat the Fox has left the den!" Grinning, the figured revealed as ten year old girl with an outright creepy look to her face, let out a savage warcry, then started roof hopping after her 'one true love'.
One might ask how a girl that age with only the very most basics of shinobi training could hope keep up with one of the strongest Ninja of the inter village.
The pretty boys of the city knew far to well from asking such a foolish question.
It is a well-documented fact that shinobi alongside every other group of major combatants at some point or another (provided they survive long enough) develops a natural 'danger' or 'sixth' sense about danger.
Naruto's own sense was honed down to a razors edge after countless years of living in an inter village of people hating and fearing him, more then willing to lash out and kill him if they believed they could get away with it. In addition to this was his small but highly active time as a shinobi, including facing down a number of A and S ranked criminals and enemy-Nin. And further still to the list facing down, not only a literal demon in combat, as well as one within himself, but also the very god of death itself.
Needless to say if you even contemplated brushing past him he could likely sense it, though anything short of a Jonin was practically laughable on his 'threat o meter'.
As such when that very sense suddenly shifted from 'chewed out by Iruka' to 'Both Tsunade and Sakura think Ero-Senin and Ero-Sensei have finally rubbed off on me.' (Which was of corse the step just above 'Itachi and the rest of the cloak wearing bakas figured siding with Orochimaru and attacking Kohona was a good idea' and one step under 'Fuzzball's relatives have stopped over and want to know where the 'cute little Kyuubi-chan' is' and under the ever present shadow of 'Green spandex starts looking like a good idea.') suddenly. He immediately unleashed a volley of clones in random directions while transforming into a harmless little bird pierced on the roof. All in all an ANBU would be impressed by his reflexes, and that was a very good thing, as he would need every second he could by with them.
The result was sudden and so horribly vicious that it would scar him forever. Ranking up there with 'Dad's last words' and 'First kill'. Every single clone was suddenly and mercilessly struck down, neither by kunai or shuriken, nor by jutsu, fist, or any other conventional implement of death and/or destruction. No each and every one of the literal dozens of clones met its end vea a blindingly fast tackle glomp.
'Fangirls' Naruto blinked in confusion. As a former teammate of Sasuke 'first time around' he knew what those incredibly powerful and frightening beings were. Even Kyuubi was somewhat intimidated by them. Considering he was the strongest known demon that ever lived, that was saying something. 'Why are they after me?' he raised a mental eyebrow 'Did Sasuke start drawing Fangirls again? No, it might be well known that I hang out with him, but so dose Hinata-chan and they could get the information out of her easier then me.' The raised eyebrow turned into an all out in depth frown 'And they were too aggressive. That wasn't a grappling hold, that was a full fangirl glomp… this doesn't make any sense.'
"Damn him! He got away again." Pouted a green haired pigtailed girl, who he mentally designated 'leader'
"Don't worry Sukiyumi! We'll get him!" encouraged another girl, this one with a lot of freckles in what would be a cute face except for her complete 'ass kisser' expression, that simply made her seem annoying. "After all if we could just get him like that then he wouldn't be catching right!"
"Your right. We will get him! We almost had him this time! Soon Naruto-kun will be all ours!" 'Sukiyumi' turned around to face her 'underlings' "Come on! He couldn't have gone far!"
"Right!" roared the fangirl horde. Various additions of 'hear hear!' and 'Naruto-kun will be ours!' The as one they darted off.
In the middle of the roof, unnoticed by all a signal bird stood with a look of pure horror on his face. 'Oh crap.'
It took about half an hour of slowly weaseling his way towards the academy district. It was a hard path to tread, invoking the use of no less then ten hedges. Along side completely masking his aura. Brining out his sharingan twice for little hypnoses sessions 'This is not the boy you're looking for'. In addition to releasing Twenty volleys of shadow clones, and even the sudden creation and use of a revised Rasengan to intentionally send Himself flying at 'Ero-Senin when he's being spotted' speeds.
Needless to say, he was getting a little paranoid, and approaching the edge of the very Very lose definition of what he called sanity.
"There not going to get me, no… Fuzzball won't let them. Nope if they try to get me I'll just go all demon on them and kick there asses… or not. I can't beat them up because their civilians still, crap… Maybe the cloak bakas and my homicidal cousin will rescue me. Can't use me for what ever messed up, twisted, and most likely apocalyptic reason they need my other half for if I'm captured by an army of rabid Fangirls. Ha ha ha NOPE! They'll come save me… Sides Itachi baka likely went through the same thing, he wouldn't subject another to that kind of… crap. He'd never willingly walk into such a demon infestation. Maybe that's why he snapped…" while he was saying this the near by ANBU black ops agent that was sent to find the currently MIA undercover Genin was slowly backing away.
"I do not get paid enough for this." Muttered the disgruntled ANBU, all but silently, as he continued his observation. He couldn't really blame the kid, after all he was around when Kakashi first joined the academy maskless… the mental scarring of that event arguably was only outshined by the systematic slaughter of his inter Genin teem. Unfortunately this insignificant sound that most members of the K9 species would have problems hearing was more then sufficient to draw the attention of our twitching hero.
"AH! They found me again!" at once a storm of fireballs kunai, clones and various other objects kicked up in a veritable storm of chaos as the blond haired boy ran at top speed, along side his chakra formed brethren
"GAH!" screamed the Shinobi as he was sent flying by the resulting explosions and army of deranged demon host clones.
Simultaneously countless girls, heads shot up in a manner eerily remnant to a dog that had just heard the panicked movements of fresh pray. "Naru-kun?" as one they moved.
Naruto could see them on the edge of the horizon, approaching fast. Chancing a brief use of the sharingan to make out there number and approach vectors. "There's no escape." He murmured in an almost horrified way turning around to see his view completely blocked off by the swiftly approaching swarm of prepubescent doom.
Sukiyumi grinned to herself as she watched her evil minions… er… 'Cherished companions' closed in on their mutual object of desire. There was nowhere to run, no where to hide. They had figured out the 'turn into a harmless inconspicuous animal' trick somewhere around the twelfth and thirteenth clone swarm, and a swift raid of the local travel shop had given them enough netting to insure that an air born attempt at escape would only end thing swifter. Finally they had him! Naruto-kun! The kick ass Genin that could out match a Chunin, the boy all their parents hated! The ninja with the smile as gold as his hair… Shaking away the dreamy state induced by her visions of her future with the 'ideal boyfriend' she screamed out the final order "ATTACK!" at once half a dozen girls tacked the object of there pursuit, crowing in victory, then suddenly shrieking in disgust.
As they leapt of the figure a wig was now visible on the ground, a blond one. As she turned to look at the boy himself she noticed several things.
He was taller then he should be.
His hair was back.
Said hair was in some kind of demented bowl cut.
His brows looked like two large fuzzy caterpillars had crawled onto his face and DIED.
He was wearing green spandex under the black and orange jumpsuit Naruto always ware.
He wasn't Naruto.
Her eyes widened in disbelief and horror "What are you doing here!?"
Lee assumed the power of youth position "My friend Naruto was showing me how to disguise myself with out chakra, and loaned me a set of his old clothing to help practice! However I fear that I must work harder on this skill. Women such as yourself still recognized me and managed to catch me unaware! Yosh I will work even harder to master this skill, and if I don't I'll run five hundred laps around the village, and if I can't do that then I'll climb the Hokage monument with one hand! And if I fail to do that…" they had tuned him out at this point and were beyond creeped out that they had al'be it inadvertently being stocking the 'mini beast of Kohona.
-----(Later at the 'secret hide out' AKA the club house at the other side of the street)
The Fangirls fled the seen a fast as they were able. Regrouping in there 'club house' not far off.
"Eh… I can't believe that… ew…" Sukiyumi muttered to herself along side most of the other females.
One of them however was different. She was your stereo typical 'dumb blond' though the level of her intelligence was still in question as she made several odd if accurate observations in her 'career' as a member of the Naruto fan club. (Not to be confused with the 'We got some sense kicked into us by Naruto club that existed in the original timeline) She was currently barring a confused look to her face "Wait. Wouldn't Lee be off with his team like right about now? I meen that Gai that is there sensei is like really into training and all that stuff right?"
Comprehension dawned on the others, and as one they turned to the area they had left 'Lee'
Sukiyumi Roared out "To the academy!" both the cheers and bodies of her followers swiftly followed her as she rushed towards the place of learning.
Not far off a chill ran down 'Rock Lee's' neck, and instinctively the demon host knew the jig was up "Damn they figured it out." Swiftly using what he had dubbed 'Defensive tactic #27' he transformed into a garbage can and hid at the side of the street as the horde raced past. 'That's odd. They don't seem to be looking for me at the moment… but why would they be in such a rush.' Turning around he face vaulted.
Completely surrounding the academy, and every available surface near by was a verbal wall of girls. 'How the hell do they do that?' he then noticed that there were multiple copies of a few of them 'Wait, a few of them are training to be shinobi as well, they know the clone technique. Crap this is going to be harder then I though.'
He growled under his breath. It was times like these he wished ever so much he could use lethal force on civilians…
'Well henge isn't going to get me through, they'll mass tackle anything trying to get through. A Clone rush will fail for similar reasons…' Almost all his techniques were high-powered attack jutsu, with an exception of the advanced versions of the basics. He knew those techniques to such a degree that most were easier to use then a basic C class elemental jutsu freshly copied from his sharingan. "Still that doesn't help outside of an actual fight." He murmured 'I could use my bloodline to study one of them then take there place, but if I'm spotted I'd be swarmed in seconds… No that wouldn't work. Damn it there isn't a jutsu in my library that could help!' he cursed to himself before, it suddenly hit him. 'If Jutsu won't help, then…' he grinned evilly to himself. He had a feeling the tables were about to turn.
"Are you sure Naruto-kun will show up? I meen what if he gives up and decides to go home for today?" a teal haired girl with identically colored eyes asked with a board expression.
"Of corse he will silly! Naruto-kun never gives up! It's what makes him Naruto-kun!" a girl with sharp blue eyes and black hair viscously replied. "Naruto-kun is probably plotting a way to make his way here right now with out the other girls knowing, so he can sweep me off my feet and take me out on a date! It'll be great, he'll take us to a nice wok down the street, then a movie, and finally he'll walk me home and…" she started giggling.
"No he wouldn't." replied the first girl "He doesn't even eat meat much, he likes raman, and that's what makes him such a good person. He's so nice, and cool, but he still appreciates the simple things." She was going to go into further augments but suddenly spotted something out of the corner of her eye. "Naruto-Kun!" she yelled out drawing the attention of every other member of the Naruto fan club.
Sure enough the blond was calmly approaching the academy with a small half smile to his face, it wasn't his regular grin, but all things considered, he shouldn't have being near as content.
This of corse invoked mass confusion with the large group of female fans as they had approached. "Hey they're… You know what, I realized something just now. Why should I be running away like this? I meen it's not like I'm an ice king and all, and even though I don't really appreciate how your going about this, doesn't meen I should ignore you." he sighed "So I figure I might as well give you a shot right?" he raised an eyebrow and grinned his patented foxy grin, as the moral of the fan group shot up more then just a few notches. "The only problem is… who am I going to go out with?"
The girls collectively blinked. Then one-stepped forward "Me of corse! We can go together to the…"
"No Me!" interrupted another girl "Why should you go first when I've being in the club longer!?"
"No I deserve to go first, it was my strategies that made him come forward!" yelled out another
"He doesn't like forward girls though I should go first!" screamed the first
"Why you!" blunted Kunai were drawn from the academy students, while the civilian members of the group drew everything from fan signs to frying pans.
Though the chaos, one now genuinely grinning blond happily strolled, entering the academy doors just as second period began.
Iruka looked up startled at Naruto as he entered "Uzumaki! Why are you so late! You missed the entire first portion about survival behind enemy lines!"
The blond twitched, then snickered, "B-behind enemy lines? As in everyone is out to get you, and no were is safe?" he barked a laugh "As in hundreds of people are all around you, looking for you, and your only hope of secure is guarded tighter then an Aburame's eye color?" his eyes had a twitch of madness to them.
Frowning Iruka nodded "Yes like that. We were discussing what one should do in such a situation."
The lost Uchiha shook slightly, grinning so hard you'd think his teeth would break. "Like hiding, and making distractions right? And of corse negotiating, have to remember bringing chaos and descent into enemy ranks as well right?" at this point the other near by members of the class had backed away at the obviously insane boy.
Once more the bottle nosed teacher nodded "Yes… You studied ahead for once Naruto?"
The blue eyed boy laughed, he laughed a deep near psychotic laugh, his tone growing with more and more madness until he eventually simply collapsed onto the ground, sobbing. Muttering something like "Never again." And "pull an Itachi on them, see how they like it…"
Iruka blinked at the shaking mound of cloth and blond hair "Was it something I said?"
Authors Second note: So, long time no update eh? Sorry about that guys. I'll try to do so more often, but as stated before, I had my reasons. As it is this one feels just a tiny bit rushed. Never the less I hope you enjoyed this little humor part. The serious stuff kicks in next chapter… We might have one more academy day chapter, or go right to graduation. For those it may interest I plan on later on starting up a sub story 'the academy years' weather this would be an actual separate story, or just a side story latter on in this fic is unknown.
Anyhow, a digital cookie for whoever can guess what the teem will be. Keep in mind that the marks for the class are a bit different, as are our young heroes peer relations. The Ino/Shika/Cho trilogy will not be broken, but for the others, all bets are off.