A/N: After I posted Trapped in the Closet, I got quite a few suggestions of other inanimate objects that might have things to tell us. The whiteboard was my first impulse. And, because I can't think of the whiteboard without thinking of Chase not being allowed to touch it, this followed.

I hope you enjoy it!

He Never Touches Me

House never lets my boy touch me. It's such a shame, because he is just so cute. I would love to have him grip me with one hand while he's using the other to tickle me with the marker.

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Wilson touched me today. It was, weird. And when House came in he just backed off like, I don't know. Like I'm some kind of possession of House's. Like I said, weird.

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Yuck, he let her do it today. Cameron. Twice. I think I'm going to be sick. Girls should never touch me.

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House barely even looked at me today. What, just because I'm not covered with your stupid little marks I'm not good enough for you? I'll remember that the next time you're looking for inspiration.

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Maybe House is jealous because my boy is so beautiful. I mean, those eyes are gorgeous but really, nothing can compete with my boy's hair.

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House talks to me sometimes. It's funny. He wants them all to think it's funny, but I know he really talks to me. He respects my mystical power to help him heal people. Why else does he spend hours just staring at me? He's waiting for me to give him the answers. Sometimes it even works.

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No cases today. I'm clean and bored. At least they're here being bored and not in the clinic. It means I get to stare at my boy. He's so pretty. I love the way he chews on his pencil while he's working on a crossword puzzle. It's so sexy. I wish he would chew on one of my markers that way…..