Dearest Edward,

We grew up together brother, shared many of the same experiences and had a lot of the same dreams. My favorite memories are lying in the cool grass with you by my side during the summer staring up at the night sky as the stars shone brightly through the darkness. Do you remember how we would reach up and try to grasp them, they seemed so close but in reality were far away. It was on one of these nights that you asked me if I'd ever kissed anyone before in a romantic way, or as you put it boyfriend girlfriend. The question was so blunt it caught me by surprise causing me to stutter out my answer. Of course it was no, I was only seven. It was on this night of nights that you leaned over me taking my hand in yours and stroked my cheek with the other whispering softly in my ear.

"It's okay Alphonse. Don't be scared, it's just me." You soothed moving your lips to gently kiss my cheek slowly placing them against mine. The world slowed down in that moment as my free hand wrapped around yours squeezing tightly. I giggled as you laid soft kisses against my neck, it tickled. Then it was over. We saw mom's lantern flashing from the top window and went home. The next day was the same as it usually was; you made fun of me for wetting the bed, we drew up some circles performing transmutations, you stole Winry's doll making her cry and we had a fist fight which of course I won. Then it was time for dinner, bath and bed.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

Day after day eventually our moment faded to the back of my mind and I forgot. It wasn't until our training in Dublith did our second encounter occur this time at my bidding. Hiding from teacher when he anger soared became a way of life for us, it was a method of survival. Most often we hid in the alleyway inside a wooden crate giggling nervously praying she wouldn't find us knowing she wouldn't come looking for us but afraid of what awaited us when we returned home. This time I instigated by kissing the back of your neck our moment together and that night suddenly popping into my head. You gasped but didn't say anything as I ran my tongue to your ear and nibbled gently. You didn't say anything still as I placed my hands underneath your shirt and gently massaged the soft flesh of your abdomen. Not even when my hands moved even lower playing with a part of your body I knew I shouldn't be touching but it just felt so good and, well right. You began to get hard in my grasp as I stroked you. I remember you leaned against me your golden eyes lit with a strange sparkle as they stared at me through heavy eye lids as you began to pant. Suddenly your body lurched forward as my name tore from your throat savagely.

"Al….phonse!" It has never sounded so beautiful before. My hand was sticky and your pants were soaked but it didn't bother us. We went back to the house and took teacher's beating as well as her tongue lashing. After that it was dinner, bath, bed.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

Day after day we went back to normal again as if nothing had happened but this time it stayed crystal clear in my mind but you didn't bring it up and neither did I. I wanted desperately to touch you brother, feel your soft warm lips against mine again but I felt as if we were locked in some bizarre game of chess and it was your move. As much as it pained me I waited. We left Dublith after nearly a year of training returning to Resembool on a dark stormy evening. Before heading to dad's study we sat in the living room and talked about nothing really in particular until an interesting subject came about along with a question.

"Al, can I touch you?"

"Brother you don't have to ask." No sooner had I replied that your lips covered mine more forcefully then when we were younger. I shivered as your tongue slipped into my mouth sending shock waves through out my body making me giddy. Before I knew it we were both on the floor in an amazing naked embrace. Your warmth, your taste, your touch; it was all so overwhelming it sent me spiraling into ecstasy as we rubbed against each other moaning into the other's mouth. Our body friction increased as our sweat mingled only adding to the ultimate pleasure, orgasm. They were nearly simultaneous only adding to the pleasure. We should have gone to bed.


For anther day of blissful ignorance of what it was we had done.


But on this night….


Things were different.

We put our clothes back on and went into dad's study to measure out the ingredients we would need. I remember the darkness and the burning, tingling sensation as you reached out for me my own screams deafening me. Then…I woke up in a hospital bed with Rose by my side. Everyone has told me what happened when we tried to bring back mom and it was so hard for me to believe that four years had passed, I can't remember a thing. No matter how hard I try or how many pictures I look at of us taken over that time when my soul was affixed to the armor I can't. I can't help but wonder how many more moments did were share if any? I can't help but feel cheated, what type of person had you become as you matured brother or me for that matter? The teenager in the photo's with the tight black paints, long red jacket and messy braid; is that really you brother?

I hope you don't mind but I borrowed your clothes brother and I even grew out my hair as well. I can't braid very well though so it's usually just in a ponytail. At night I let it down to cover my eyes and I undress standing in front of the mirror. If I squint enough my reflection looks like you. Sometimes after I climax I get confused and wonder where did brother go? Cold reality soon sets in though and I realize you were never there in the first place. You are my beautiful shining star Edward, far away in the darkness just out of my reach but one day my hand will grasp yours and I will never let go.

Love always,