Title: Voices from the Past

Author: Mackenzie

Email: "Nip/Tuck"

Spoilers: Everything thus far

Summary: Sean gets a visit from a ghost in his past.

Disclaimers: I don't own 'em, don't claim to own 'em, don't sue.

Author's Notes: Feedback is balm for a writer's soul.

-1-

Dr. Sean McNamara sat on the sultry beach in Miami, watching the waves crash against the sandy shore. His mind a puzzle of confusion, the esteemed plastic surgeon sighed as he glanced down at the grains on which he was sitting. Slowly reaching out, McNamara drew a circle in the sand. Poking twice in the circle, he poked again in the center below the two holes and then drew a smile and shook his head.

Sighing quietly, the surgeon shook his head again. Letting out a frustrated cry, he grabbed an abandoned sea shell and threw it in the water. "A crustacean somewhere thanks you."

Knowing the voice, he froze, "No," he said quietly, "my mind is playing a trick on me... it can't be... she's dead." Slowly turning around, Sean let out a horrified gasp as he stood up and stumbled backwards.

"Hello, Scarecrow," Megan O'Hara greeted fondly.

Sean swallowed hard as he looked at her. Her body appeared to be glowing, her long dark hair rested in a curls that framed her face, on her body, she wore a white gown and her feet were bare. "You are dead," he said softly.

"Physically," Megan agreed, "However emotionally and mentally, I'll always live in your heart, no matter how hard you try to pretend that I don't."

The plastic surgeon sighed quietly as he nodded. Looking at her, he blurted out, "Julia and I are having another baby."

His former lover smiled softly as she nodded, "I know. I'm happy for you, Sean."

"Don't be," he said, almost coldly. "My son will be a freak."

Megan frowned as she slowly walked up behind him, "Your son is your son. You will love him, regardless of handicap."

Sean sighed quietly as he turned around. Reaching out to touch her face, he was astonished as his hand went through her, "Why can't I touch you?"

Smiling quietly, the woman looked at him, "I'm a spirit, Sean. My body is mummified by now. You and Jim and all the people I loved released my ashes into the sea, which I appreciated it. Now my spirit can live on forever."

"You're beautiful," he smiled at her.

"I'm cancer-free. That's a great thing about death, no more cancer. Plus," she grinned at him, "I get my tits back."

Sean laughed softly and nodded. Looking at her, he spoke softly, "I miss you."

Megan nodded, quietly, "I know... and I you. But," she sighed, "you have a chance to rebuild your marriage with Julia. That's important. She needs you, Sean. She needs you more than ever, and you need her. You both need to be strong for this baby, and for yourselves, to say nothing of your other two children."

"My one child," Sean corrected.

"Your two children," Megan reiterated , her eyes narrowing. "Just because Christian provided the ingredient for Matt doesn't mean that he's not your son."

"I know," Sean admitted with a sigh. Looking at her, his eyes sparked with a vividness in blue that happened when he was really happy, "Do you visit Jim?"

"Jim's moved on," Megan said. "After my service, he went home and found my diaries. There were several passages about you in it and he put the pieces of the puzzle together and realized that I was in love with my surgeon. After his sessions with rage, anger and denial, he moved to Europe and met and married another."

"Your surgeon," Sean said quietly, "was in love with you as well."

The woman smiled quietly, "I know. I always knew."

"I'm sorry I didn't hold your hand," Sean said, suddenly feeling guilty, "I'm sorry, I didn't give you one last spark of physical connection."

"Don't be," Megan said. "You couldn't. I know that had it been discovered that you assisted me in my death than you could lose your license. I didn't want that for you, Sean, you are too good."

McNamara sighed heavily and then smiled at her, "Watch over my little boy?"

"As if he were my own," Megan promised. "I love you, Scarecrow."

Suddenly, a bright white light pierced down, momentarily blinding Sean. Once he got his vision back, he looked around and saw that he was alone and that once again Megan O'Hara slipped out of his life as quietly as she slipped in.