Note: Ever get a song in your head and you can't get it out, no matter what you do? For the last three days straight, the song "Sleep" by Stabbing Westward has been driving me mad, twisting and writhing around in my mind. It didn't help that what I thought the song was about was not quite accurate (not being able to make out all the lyrics, I had thought the song was about spousal abuse). When I found the full lyrics, I was horrified to learn what the song was REALLY about... and then this whole story slammed straight into my mind.
While I fully intend to take the idea below and do it as an anime music video, it was just too good not to do it as a story as well.
By the way, this is MY version of the lyrics...
Warning: NOT your typical SPIRAL story.
Screaming into the Darkness
She's been here too many times before
To even remember
When she last felt anything at all
But despair and anger
She sits at the dining room table, her eyes intently watching the doorway, endlessly twisting the strap of her handbag around nervous fingers. Time and again, her eyes flash toward the wall clock, counting off the minutes. Time is moving so slowly that she feels suspended in nothing. Time is moving so fast that she blinks and hours are gone that she will never remember, except in fragments of her dreams. And through it all, she wonders where her husband is.
She stares intently at the door,
Praying for his footsteps
She can't take this waiting any more
And not knowing makes it worse
She crouches in the corner of their bedroom, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around her legs, her eyes on the doorway, willing it to open. Her eyes keep returning to the clock beside their bed, and she wonders how long she has been sitting on the floor. Her body is numb, her mouth is dry, her eyes ache from lack of sleep and too much crying. And through it all, she wonders where her husband is.
Someone close beside her calls her name
But she doesn't want him
Screams at him to just leave her alone
And sobs in silence
She stands in the living room, staring at her brother-in-law. She cannot bear to look at him because he looks like Kiyotaka. She cannot stop looking at him because he looks like Kiyotaka. He is the ghost of her husband as a teenager, a living reminder of what she has lost. She wants nothing more than for him to go away. She wants nothing more than for him to make everything all right. She can't stop screaming at him, even while she wonders why she is screaming. And through it all, she wonders where her husband is.
Trapped in the darkness of her mind
Where she waits in anguish
She can't leave this nightmare behind
So she hides inside her dreams
She is moving through the apartment like a hurricane, throwing things just to hear them break. She breaks anything she can get her hands on, just to hear him shouting at her to stop. Anything is better than the silence. She is sobbing incoherently as she overturns furniture and leaves devastation in her wake. She snatches up every clock she can find and smashes them. She grabs hold of the irises on the counter and tears them to shreds, leaving their scent on her hands. She attacks her brother-in-law, clawing at his face so he won't look like Kiyotaka anymore. She screams his name over and over, so she won't hear her heart calling for Kiyotaka anymore. And through it all, she wonders where her husband is.
Floating high above her bed
Remembering what he had said
Wondering if he is dead
Wishing that the world would end