This is extremely weird, I know. A devoted BBxRaven fan, writing a TERRA fic...that is, if anything, slightly BBxTerra-ish! But I felt like it, so I did it. It was like a challenge for myself. I'm not all that confident that it turned out that great, but I hope it did. Oh, and in case you're wondering, this will be a three-chapter fic. But for now, please enjoy the first chapter of my (very originally titled) Terra fanfic!
"Things change," I told him. It's true, right? Nothing stays the same. But I found myself once again questioning whether I had told him that because I believed it, or because I wanted to get rid of him. I mean, I didn't know the guy, and he was kind of scaring me. I had every right to want him to leave me alone.
So why do I feel so guilty?
"You alright?" I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked up to see the concerned eyes of my friend. Friend…That boy said that I had been his friend. I told him he was wrong. "Things change," I said. But what if I was the one who was wrong? I was so sure I didn't know him, but that look on his face...I'd never seen anyone with more hurt in their eyes than him when I had said that.
"Yeah, I must've just spaced out there for a moment," I said, giving her a small smile to reassure her that I was alright. But was I?
"Are you guys coming or not?" We both looked ahead to see the final member of our trio waiting for us by the gate.
My companion next to me nodded, but before I could even think about it, words began to tumble out of my mouth. "I think I left my math book in my locker. Go guys go ahead – don't wait up." It was a lie, of course. I shifted the books I was holding so they wouldn't see that GEOMETRY was printed along the spine of one of them.
"You sure?" I nodded. "Alright...well, see you tomorrow, then."
I don't even know if they even heard me mumble back, "Yeah...see you tomorrow." They headed off towards the gate, and, just in case they happened to glance back, I turned and began to make my way towards the school doors. I made sure they had turned the corner before I sat down on the school steps, making sure to avoid sitting on any stale pieces of gum.
I sighed, setting my books down next to me. I didn't even know why I told them to go on. I guess...I just needed some time alone. I leaned back, resting my head on a step a few steps up from the one I was sitting on. The sky was a beautiful shade of blue, with a few puffy white clouds lazily drifting across it.
What was I supposed to have done? A short green boy was following me like a crazed stalker, introducing himself as Beast Boy, claiming I'm his long-lost friend. That I used to hang out with him, that I used to live in that awesome tower, that I used to be a superhero. Was I supposed to just accept that? It sounded crazy! Was it so wrong to dismiss him like that? He wanted me to go back to a life that I never had.
But for some reason, I haven't been able to forget what he said. Not for this last week, ever since I told him that things changed, that the girl he wanted me to be was just a memory, that he should go back to saving the city like he was supposed to. And that I should just get to class, like I was supposed to.
But it seems that, if that really was how it was supposed to be, that I could have just let it go by now.
It's been one week. One week since I got this hollow feeling inside me that just won't go away. Like something big is missing from my life.
He said I had superpowers. That...what was it again? He threw dirt at me and said...oh, yeah: earth. I could move the earth.
Well, that the girl he used to know could move earth, I mean.
But for some reason, I want to test it out. Disprove his theory. Prove to myself that I was right. Because if I can't move the earth, I'm not this Terra girl, right? And so, without even really meaning to, I find myself focusing on a pebble on the ground in front of the steps. Willing it to move. How does one move things with their mind, anyway? Up, rock, I think. Go up. I try to imagine the little pebble rising up, floating in midair. I feel...I feel...
I'm sitting here, trying to make a rock move with my mind. I am so glad no one is here to see this.
But I keep trying. I don't know why. I guess because, in order to prove it to myself that he was wrong, I want to at least make sure I was trying my hardest to make it move. So I keep staring at it. Keep willing it to rise. Now I feel...like something is stifled within me. And suddenly it's almost like I can't breathe. I look up, breathing deep, slow breaths, and-
Wait...what was that? I could have sworn I saw something out of the corner of my eye, like a flash of blue cloth. "Is someone there?" I call out. No answer. I stare at the place where I thought I saw...whatever it was...then turn back to my pebble.
But I know I won't be able to make it move. I just know it. Because I don't have superpowers.
And that's when I feel it. Not the stifling feeling, or the feeling that I'm a complete moron for trying to make this rock move. No. I feel like...someone's in my mind, rifling through my thoughts. And that's the last feeling I have before darkness closes in on me and I black out.
"Terra? Are you alright? Are you...you?"
I slowly open my eyes, which are immediately assaulted by the bright sunlight. And standing above me, slowly coming into focus, is the last person I expected to be there...not that I had a top 10 list of 'people I expected to be there when I regained conciousness', but that's beside the point.
"R-raven?" The worried look fades into relief, though she is still peering at me concernedly. "What...what's going on?"
And that's when I realize it. I mean, I know who I am. I'm Terra...duh. But I can remember, right up til now, not knowing that. It's so weird, knowing who you are but being able to remember a time when you didn't.
"So...I'm guessing it worked," Raven says, a small smirk playing on her lips. She offers a pale hand, and a take it, hoisting myself up.
"But really, what's going on?" I ask after a moment of uncomfortable silence. She stares at me for a moment, as if wondering where to start.
"Well," she says after a brief pause, "if you'll recall, you met someone a week or so ago. Someone claiming to be an old friend?" I nod, giving a rueful smile. I feel so guilty about turning Beast Boy away like that...how could I ever forget the best friend I ever had? "After that...encounter...well, he didn't give many details, only that you were at high school now, and didn't remember who you were." I give another small nod. God, how could I be so stupid?
"I spent some time thinking on that," Raven continued, now casting her gaze across the street, not exactly avoiding my eyes, but making no attempt to meet them. "We all missed you, of course, but what was really bringing us down - and I know it's probably weird to hear this from me - was how sad Beast Boy was." And here comes the guilt.
I want to bash my head into the wall. I hate myself, I really do. How must that poor guy feel right now? I've already messed his life up enough, and after last week...It's like I had kicked his heart into the gutter. And that's after I had stomped on it repeatedly, what with the whole Slade ordeal.
"What?" Raven asked, looking alarmed. I realized I must have said that last thought aloud.
"Oh, sorry. But...what happened? To Slade, I mean?"
"Well, you defeated him, during that final battle, right before you turned to stone." I was turned to stone? Everything after that fight is kinda fuzzy…But, seeing that she's about say more, I decide not to ask, at least not now.
"But then," she continued on. 'But'? That doesn't sound good. "When my father came to Earth, he showed up again. We don't know where he is right now, but believe me, Robin's searching."
"What do you mean, 'when your father came to Earth?'" I ask, feeling slightly stupid when I see the look that flashes in her eyes. But the look is gone as soon as it comes, and she just says, "I'll tell you about it later. As for right now, I've got to get you back to the tower. This is going to be interesting, when they see you…"
"Don't they know that I'm, y'know, me again?" I ask, more confused then ever.
"Well…not exactly. When Beast Boy told us where you were, and what was wrong, I had an idea. I thought that, if I got inside your head, I might be able to bring those surpressed memories to the surface…and it worked. Which brings me to this." The tone she was speaking in before seems like nothing compared to the seriousness with which she said that last sentence. "See, I wasn't sure if you wanted to come back. If those memories were buried because of some unknown force…or because you wanted them to be. So I need to know: do you want to stay like this, or do you want me to force those memories back down? If I do, you'll go back to your life as a high school student, and forget this ever happened. If you don't…well, we can go back to the tower and see what happens from there."
I swallow, and my throat feels dry and choked-up. Do I really want this? Why would I want to forget again? But…what with me betraying them and all, do I want to remember, and live with that guilt forever?
But do I want to erase the memories of the best friends I ever had?
"So what is it, Terra? What do you want? I understand if you want to come back with me, but I also understand if the memories are just too painful to live with."
"I-" I feel panicked. I can't make such a huge decision like this. I need time to think. I need-
"I want to stay."
These words tumble out before I even realize that I've opened my mouth. For a moment Raven looks almost…disappointed. But in the blink of an eye, that look is gone, replaced by a small smile.
"You're sure?" Am I? I don't know! But I just nod. "Alright. Well, let's head back then." She pauses for a moment. "You do still have your powers, right?"
I stop short. Do I? But deep inside me, I knew the answer. I turn back to that little pebble one last time, and it takes little effort to send it soaring into the sky. I face Raven again, grinning.
"Good," is all she says on the matter. "Let's go."
So how was it? Good? Bad? Completely cheesed-up? Be brutally honest (but not brutal!). PLEASE review and share your thoughts!
Oh, if you go to my profile, you'll find a link for a great Terra vid (at least in my opinion). I didn't make it, I just came across it one day while I was surfing the net. Watch it, it's wonderful!