I stand over her as she sleeps, snuggled in her blanket, her short dark hair showing, I feel for her vulnerability.
The hospital room brings back memories of gaining strength from friends and family, starting to cope with the past and the future, first faltering steps and then out into the big wide world. And then to all the new memories of her Casita, home, family, working with AJ, a partnership with Ricardo and Gabi, Benjy and his new sister.
Also the warmth of my adopted family, who have seen me through anger, tears and happiness, and are waiting outside to give us all the love and support we will need.
She stirs restlessly opening her eyes. They are the big dark and beautiful eyes of a new baby, who is wondering what she is looking at and were she is no doubt now her warm world is gone. Even now she has her mother's beauty and casts the same spell over me. Her tiny hand waves in the air and her mouth opens to cry, such a little sound to start off with...
I gently touch her hand it is so small. Then carefully pick her up giving her all the support she needs and carry her over to her mother. She likes the movement but still knows what she wants. Her voice is louder and my gentle words stop it for a moment.
Meg smiles as I get ready to hand our daughter over; she has been watching my every move.
I place her in Meg's arms and watch them both as they find each other. A small part of me is jealous, because my daughter can get so close to my Soulmate, but it is gone in a second. I love them too much and know I still have her love. They are together quiet and content.
I sit and watch them, Meg smiles down at our daughter talking quietly giving her encouragement as she takes her food. After a while there is the little sound of complaint as Meg moves her from one breast to the other and then there is the gentle sound of sucking contentment again.
Meg looks across at me and smiles our eyes meet and I am again lost in her as always. Unconsciously I reach out and touch her arm making sure I do not disturb our child and feel the surge of our connection as we are linked …the three of us together.
I come back to the present as our daughter makes her presence felt and watch again as Meg looks after her, gently cuddling, rubbing her back, and giving her the support she needs. And we hear that expected burp and see that sleepy look and when she's nodded off I take her back to her cot. I kiss her gently on her forehead before I lay her down. Still asleep she snuggles into her blanket … so like her mother.
I go back to Meg and give her a kiss and say softly, lovingly. "Thank you."
She smiles back at me and I carry on. "For the best 18 months and our daughter."
She immediately comes back. "A pleasure and like wise!" The tone of her voice says so much of our love and happiness.
We sit together and in silence watch our daughter sleep.
I think of her and what she means to me.
She carries our love and happiness as well as the names of her grandmothers; the first, she will never know but was loved and is greatly missed. The second, she will love and respect as much as I do and lastly then name of her mother, my Soulmate who I adore and live for.
Meg's voice quietly cuts into my thoughts as she adds. "And the name of her father, who never gave up on our love, will be proud of, get strength from and will love forever as I do."
I realise I have said my thoughts out loud and I smile at her.
My Soulmate knows my thoughts, love and dream have come true.
There is a gentle knock on the closed door to our room.
Meg giggles and I give her a quick kiss then go willingly to answer it and get ready to introduce our daughter to the rest of her family.
Thank you for reading this story and I hope you enjoyed it. As always I would love to know what you think of it so reviews are welcome.