REPOST: Thanks everyone who noticed my major oversight. I just liked the word 'fortnight' and it sounded really good. It's been fixed now, so thank you for pointing that out to me.

Title: And Baby Makes Three?

Author: Lady B

Pairing: Harry/Draco and ?

Rating: starts at a tame PG and ends at an NC17

Word count: 542 words! (Finally something less than 1000!)

Warning(s): language, cauldron explosion of the Longbottom kind, snark, implied m/m smexxing

Summary: Oh shite! That wasn't supposed to happen!

Disclaimer: JKR is way more imaginative then I'll ever be and I bow to her greatness.

Author note: For prompt #347 lullaby from my hpfanfic10x10 table. I had an idea for this a few days ago and it finally solidified in my brain so I had to get it down quick before I lost the muse.

- - -

"Longbottom that's not the right-"

--KABOOM!--

"Waaaaaaaaa!"

Stunned silence.

"Someone get McGonagall down here right now!"

- - -

"What's going on in here?"

"Professor, Neville's cauldron exploded and he was standing right over it. He got a face full of it."

"Thank you Mr Weasley. I'll take him up to the hospital. You two come with me."

- - -

"Minerva, what-oh my."

"Indeed, Poppy."

"He looks about 4 months old."

"That young?"

"Mmmm."

"What can we do?"

"Find him a guardian until it wears off. It should wear off in about four or five days, tops."

"Really?"

"I see by the look in your eyes you have someone in mind."

"I do."

- - -

"Waaaaaaaaa"

"Fuck!"

"What time is it?"

"It's two in the fucking morning!"

"No need to be crude."

"Shut it."

"Tell him that."

"He's just a baby."

"I need my beauty rest!"

"Stop whining you git. I'll go take care of it."

- - -

Soft sounds over the magically enhanced baby monitor...

"Hush little baby, don't say a word, papa's gonna buy you a mocking bird, and if that mocking bird doesn't sing, papa's going to buy you a diamond ring...humming tune..."

- - -

Sometimes later...

"Potter?"

"What, Malfoy?"

"Um...you have a nice voice. F-For singing, that is."

"Did you, Draco Malfoy, just pay me, Harry Potter, a compliment?"

"Don't let it go to your head, Potter."

"Which one?"

"Shut up!"

"You asked."

"I did not!"

Teasing laughter.

- - -

Another night later...

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Bloody buggering hell!"

"Now who's being crude, Malfoy?"

"Sod off!"

"Want me to go again?"

"Just shut him up!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

- - -

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray...soft humming..."

- - -

"You really do have a nice voice, Potter."

"Thanks, Malfoy."

Ten minutes later...

"Um...Potter?"

"Hmm?"

"I can't sleep."

"Want me to sing to you?"

"If it's not too much of a problem?"

"No problem. Rock-a-bye baby, in a treetop, when the wind blows the cradle will rock...humming..."

"You really do...yawn...have a...yawn...nice...voice...snore..."

- - -

Night number four...

-Thump!-

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Draco. Shut up and get back to what you were doing!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

"Git!"

"You love it!"

"Shut u-ohfuckyeah!"

"Mmmm."

"You can fuck me now!"

"Gladly!"

-Thump thump!-

"There's that n-ohmerlinHarry!-noise again!"

"Fuck, Draco I'm going to come!"

"God Harry, you're so tight!"

"Harder, Draco! Ah! Yes!"

"Harry!"

"Oh bloody fucking hell! My eyes!"

A scramble for the bed covers.

"Professor Snape! You're back to normal!"

"Draco, I can't breathe here!"

"Oh, sorry, love!"

A tired sigh.

"I need a whiskey and Minerva's strongest Obliviate."

"Uh...we can explain, sir."

"I have eyes, Draco. Although now I wish I'd remained a baby."

"You were kind of cute, sir, if I may be so bold."

"Don't make me hand out detentions, Mr Malfoy."

"Yes, sir."

"And, Mr Potter, though it galls me to say so...chokes on the words...th-thank you for caring for me these last 4 nights."

"You're welcome, sir."

Stoic Potions Master turns his back on the two obviously nude boys in the bed.

"And Draco is correct on one thing...you do have a nice voice."

Both young men watch their Potions teacher leave their room.

fin.