Kitsune: Hello, I decided to start a new series thingy, and I just thought of this while I was in the shower!

Jeremy: Nice . . . What, uh, else were ya doin' in there? (pervy smile)

Kitsune: (rolls eyes) Shut up.

Jeremy: (snicker)

Kitsune: CANDY!

Jeremy: (reads the story) Oh. AH! I just came up with a story to fit in with this! Heh, this will be fun. And it'll probably be . . . the third chapter . . .

Kaonashi: Why do I get the feeling I won't like his?

Jeremy: Oh, I shall make everyone suffer . . . (evil, pervy smirk0

Kitsune: That's why! SAVE ME! (jumps into Kaonashi's arms) Hi, Kao-kun! (kiss)

Kaonashi: (dazed) Uh . . . huh? Oh, review!

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The Random Adventures of NoFace!

Summary: While NoFace and Kitsune are a couple, NoFace doesn't know the human world that well. Oh well, he'll learn soon enough. From shampoo to diet pills, we find ways of making him suffer. No, we do not NoFace bash, we love him too much for that!

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Chapter 1: Kaonashi Meets Shampoo

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It was a cool autumn eve. It was also the early years. The years before Kaonashi's temple was erected, when Kaonashi stayed with Kitsune in a small, one bedroom apartment overlooking Tokyo, Japan. It was a nice, cozy apartment; with one bathroom, one bedroom, a living room that blended into the small, yet comfortable kitchen, and the living had a nice view with its large windows, nearly ceiling to floor, only limited by about two feet in each direction (up and down). And the large, clear sliding door that led from the bedroom to a balcony.

There was a small, yet cozy couch in the living room, which Kitsune and Kaonashi now sat on. Well, Kitsune sat on the end, leaning against the armrest, and Kaonashi stretched out against her, leaning his head back against her chest while she played with his hair.

He sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her fingers sifting through his brown locks. A sudden pain at the back of his head made him wake with a start. He glanced up in confusion at Kitsune, who glanced down at her fingers, miserably. They were caught at a rather large knot in his hair.

"Kaonashi, what's this?" she asked him. He glanced at her.

"Uh, I dunno," he said, in a low voice. Kitsune bent her head down and took a whiff of his hair, then recoiled, crinkling her nose.

"Don't you use shampoo?"

"Sham . . . poo?" Kaonashi blinked and tilted his head to the side. "What's that?"

"It's something that people use to clean their hair, and make it smell fresh," She raised an eyebrow, "You've never heard of shampoo?"

He shook his head. She withdrew her fingers from his hair, and let him run his through her hair. It was very soft and smooth, smelled like champagne, and he had no trouble running his fingers through it.

"So," he said, "You use this 'shampoo' to make your hair get this soft?" Kitsune nodded. Kaonashi was suddenly lost in his thoughts. He thought of himself, using this 'shampoo' thing, whatever it was, and having his hair become so soft that Kitsune wouldn't leave him alone. She would constantly run her fingers through his hair, and want . . .

More.

"Uh, Kaonashi, are you hungry? You're drooling?" Kitsune asked. Kaonashi had a faraway look on his face and a little drool was hanging from his mouth. He didn't notice. She waved a hand in his face. "Kaonashi?"

-

He felt like such a fool.

After he had snapped out of his little trance, he had told her that he wanted to get some shampoo and use it, so she gave him a couple dollars and told him to go to the store and pick out something he liked.

At first, he thought of her, and went straight to the lingere department, thinking of frilly, lacey, delightful things she could wear for him . . . .

He abruptly turned and marched towards the Health and Beauty department, blushing like mad for thinking such things.

And now, here he was.

Staring at thousands of different liquid-filled bottles of various colors, names, and brands, without a clue as of what they were used for.

He continued to stare.

And stare.

And stare.

He raised an eyebrow, and grabbed the closest bottle, examining it. It read,

KY Edible Lubricant: For that tingling feeling where it matters . . .

He yelped and dropped it as if it burned his hand. He made a mental note to never get near a KY brand ANYTHING if his life depended upon it.

He then stared at various things that read, Shampoo.

Ah, yes. That's what he wanted!

Oh, but which to buy?

There was V05 brand, one of which had an amber color similar to beer, yet smelled absolutely horrendous. That was a no. He glanced through varieties, differing from White Rain brands to Tropical Fruit Punch scents.

He grabbed one and opened the cap, taking a soft whiff. He liked this. He read the label. V05, Shampoo, Kiwi Lime. This was a keeper. With that, he went to the checkout aisle, paid for it, and left.

-

He showed his spoils to Kitsune, who glomped him for picking up Peanut M&M's for her, then left for the bathroom. As he undressed, he fingered the bottle of shampoo he'd acquired. He set the spray on warm, walking into the shower, closing the glass door. He did his ritual of washing with that darned slippery soap that he never got a good grip on, and ended up having to bend over twelve times just to reach it all the way at the bottom of the shower stall.

Finally, Kaonashi picked up the bottle of V05 shampoo, turning it over and reading the directions.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Kaonashi blinked. What kind of instructions were those? They might as well say Stick it up your butt and do the Hokey Pokey! He could only guess how many idiots were still in the shower after repeating over and over and over again. After fingering with the bottle again, he squeezed a drop of the substance on his finger, tasting it. He immediately regretted it, and choked, spitting it out and throwing the bottle across the room. A string of curses followed his spitting.

That was followed with a knock on the bathroom door. "Kaonashi? Are you okay?"

Oh, it was Kitsune.

"Do you need help in there?"

He spluttered a bit before he nodded, then remembering she couldn't see, he said, "Yeah, door's open."

She entered, closing the door after and locking it. She glanced at the shampoo bottle resting by her feet, picked it up, and walked to the glass door. "What happened?" she asked, "Did it bite you?"

He shook his head, glancing at her fuzzy image through the glass screen door. "No, I tried some."

"And?" she prompted.

"It didn't taste good."

That earned him a good two minutes of laughter from her.

"What?" he asked.

"You don't eat it, Kao-kun," she laughed, "You rub it into your hair!"

"But," he blinked, "The label said Kiwi Lime, and I like Kiwi and I like Lime, so I thought . . ."

"Do you need some help?" she asked him.

"Yes."

She opened the door, but he 'uh-uh'ed her. She looked at him. He smiled devilishly at her.

"We have a policy here in the shower," he said, "No shirt, no shoes . . ." he began, then finished, smirking, "No pants or undergarments of any kind allowed."

Kitsune raised an eyebrow, smiling, but shrugged and undressed, climbing in with him. "Alright, you washed, right?" He nodded. "Then, here's what you do with the shampoo."

She told him to turn around, but he protested.

"It doesn't work the other way around, Kits." She slapped him for that.

"Baka hentai!"

She squeezed a good sized glob of the greenish liquid into her hands, then threw her hands into his hair, rubbing it in, and creating a thick white lather. She raked her nails across his scalp, and Kaonashi knew a different definition of the word, pleasure.

"This is heavenly . . ." he mumbled. She began to slow down, indicating she was almost done, when he blurted out, "More!" Kitsune quirked an eyebrow at his outburst, but complied, digging deep into his skin. Kaonashi groaned.

"I've never known someone to get excited over having their hair washed," Kitsune said, when she rinsed his hair out.

"Maybe, but you have NO idea how good that feels . . ." he said, revelling in the contact of her skin against his back. How she encircled her arms around his stomach and pressed soft kisses along his wet back. The warm spray of the water created steam that rose up and steamed up the glass door.

He finally turned around and pressed their foreheads together, smiling and staring into eachother's eyes. Finally, his gaze dropped, taking on a lusty sheen to them, as he looked her up and down and few times. She smirked and gripped his hair, making him give a startled yelp.

"Nu-uh, turn around, big boy," she said, "We're not finished yet. You still have to learn the wonders of conditioner."

She reached beyond him and grabbed one of her conditioners. V05, Conditioner, Champagne Kiss. It held a pink liquid. He blanched at her.

"Oh no, I am NOT using pink stuff in my hair!"

-

"Ah, harder!" Kaonashi moaned, as Kitsune fingers kneaded his scalp with the pink conditioner. She laughed.

"What were you saying before about not using pink 'stuff' in your hair?" she asked, slyly. She recieved another good moan, and a small thrust with his butt against her for it, as in a 'shut up and get back to work' gesture, making her quirk an eyebrow and shake her head.

After she rinsed his hair, they turned the shower off, and Kaonashi carried her out. No, he literally carried her out of the shower, setting her down on the sink counter, as she used a towel to dry his hair.

"You're so wierd, Kao-kun," she teased. He gave her a small peck on the lips before carrying her out ito the bedroom. She rummaged through her dresser, searching, while he sat, nude the bed, waiting for her to return. It was a VERY good thing they'd installed blinds or curtains, or whatever they were, that obscurred anyone who dared to take a peek in's vision.

With an "AH-HA!" she lunged at him, successfully knocking him over and sitting on his lap, while she brandished a rather large piece of plastic with plastic teeth.

A brush.

She rolled over and told him to sit up, while she sat behind him, carefully brushing out the tangles in his hair. Again, he began to groan and grunt as the teeth of the brush ran along his scalp, separating strands of his hair and relieving a familiar itch.

"See?" she said, "Shampoo may be nice, but I LOVE my conditioner! It's what makes my hair all silky and soft! See for yourself!" She let him rake his own hand through his hair, looking at himself in the mirror.

"Is that me?" he asked, incredulously, still fluffing his hair. She came up behind him, running her fingers through his hair, and sighing.

"That's more like it."

Kaonashi turned around, pushing her towards the bed, with a mischievious smile plastered on his face. He pinned her down, getting his face close to hers.

"I'm going to have to repay you now," he said, but she just smiled, innocently, and pecked his lips, before he recaptured hers in hungry passion.

Ah, but that, my friends, is a different story . . .

-

Kitsune: Oh Kami, did that come out that way? (blush)

Kaonashi: Ah, but you retold the story perfectly this time. I think it's better that way.

Kitsune: That IS how it happened, koibito. (kisses him)

Kaonashi: Alrighty then! Review! (kisses her)

Jeremy: (taping this)

Kitsune: OUT, JEREMY!

Kaonashi: (growl) (throws Jeremy off a 5-story building)

Jeremy: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (KER-SPLAT!)