Special fangz to xxxbloodyrists666xxx for unleashing her creativity in coming up with some of the names and in giving the world something to laugh at, or be amazed with. I'd ask you to marry me if I were but a bit more goffik.

Rated M for sexual euphimisms such as 'you-know-what' and 'thingy'. They are not in this chapter, but viower excretion is advised.

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Shadow'ness Ebony Darkness Death Raven Satan Smith has long back hair streaked with purple and with red tips and eyes that are red (A/N: she's wearing contacts!). A lot of people say she looks like a vampire, which isn't wrong, as she is. She has very pale white skin, and dark goffik circles under her eyes which she makes darker with black eyeliner which she has on right now. She has curves in all the right places and is thin enough to easily be anorexic – she only drinks blood and eats cereal. She is wearing a black corset bought at Hot Topic – her favourite shop of all time – long blood coloured fishnets that are ripped and torn, a black plastic miniskirt (as leather isn't goffik enough). She is also wearing big black combat boots with metal ends; stiletto heals and flames on them. Oh, and she's also a very special type of vampire that can survive in sunlight, although she hates it very much and it causes her eyeliner to run – she can also see her reflection in a mirror. She's also a witch and goes to Hogwarts, where she hates all the preps that are there as well as refuses to wear the uniform of robes – they simply aren't goffik enough for her.

"Hi Shadow'ness," said Drako who had dyed his hair black and was wearing red contacts so that his eyes were now goffik and red rather than blue. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt and leather trousers and had black eyeliner (A/N: He was a goff guy.)

"Hi Drako," said Shadow'ness and she looked at his pale hand with black nail polish on his nails. Around his wrist was a leather wristband with spikes.

"Do you want to go to the mcr concert in Hogsmeade with me?" he asked shyly but flirtingly, looking at Shadow'ness who had blood red nail polish on.

"Yeah," she replied depressively but happily. "Fangz (geddit, coz shes goffik) for inviting me Drako! The lead singer is such a hottie!" She flicked her long black goffik hair. "Does Dumblydum know?"

"Nah – my dad, Lucian, says he's got Alzheimer's and kancer. He's to be transported to St Mango's sometime soon," replied Drako, his red eyes glinting happily, although his dark eyeliner and black hair made him look depressed – it reflected his soul.

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A/N: Was this any good whatsoever?